Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Then Dirt Bird arrived and we hugged and chatted, and then more people arrived and we drank and we chatted. There were guitars and singing and new friends and old friends and it was one of those nights where Richard was begging us to leave so he could lock up. Clearly in the mood for more drinking and merriment Dirt Bird and I headed to someone's house with a few others. That was when things started getting a bit hazy. I do remember, however, that it was about 4 O'Clock in the morning before I suddenly declared that I had to go home and eat. And five minutes later some kind of warm cheesy toastie was place in front of me, of which I ate half and then proceeded to start a fight with Dirt Bird. The fight was very brief and we made up five minutes later, whilst crying and hugging on the sofa. By which time it was 7 O'Clock in the morning and Jakers was phoning me wondering where I was. He was up for training. So I made the short five minute walk home, but not without slipping in the muddy grass and arriving at the door to Jakers a drunken, emotional, muddy mess.
Needless to say that the next day was a total washout. None of which really mattered except not meeting Z for coffee. It was the first time I've ever let down a 2 year old because of booze and it did not feel good. I did meet Mel though and introduced her to the delights of a mint frappe. Perfect for an overhang.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I've been using LastFM to discover new music. You just have to put in the name of a band you like and it will reccommend lots of similar bands. Somehow, I stumbled upon the amazing Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros and they are my new favourite band. I love the fact the lead singer, Alex Ebert, looks like Jesus. I also love the fact that the band played their first gig in a place called Marfa.
Music never used to be something I had to work at to get. If I came across a band I liked I'd just go to my dad's CD collection and, more than likely, discover that he had every album they ever made. Sometimes I ask him now what I should be listening to. But sometimes he keeps secrets from me. Like Melissa Auf Der Maur. I had to discover her all by myself. I guess I'm a big girl now. Not only that, my dad is the odd time disappointed in me for liking someone he hates, like Jose Gonzalez and Ray Lamontagne.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
And, I shouldn't dwell too much on the falling down part, just be greatful that I have the most amazing people in my life to help me back on my feet. And I guess I should look past the summit of little old Slemish and see the great rolling hills behind it. They're a bit snowy at the minute but they'll be thawed in a week or two.
In the meantime, it is Christmas and there is plenty to be getting on with. There is even time to sit in front of the computer wishing I could be as flexible and agile as Lil Crabe here who can only be described as a breakdancing contortionist. It takes him a wee minute to get warmed up but please give him time as he's pretty damn awesome.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Apparently, many people will have you believe, the universe is unfolding as it should. If that is so then what the fuck is the universe trying to tell me? Because I'm bored of this unfolding and thinking that, finally, everything's gonna be ok only to be slapped in the face and right back at square one. Yes, I am talking about the unravelling of my relationship. But, I'm also talking about it all, life in general.
I have nothing solid or concrete. I have focused more on trying to be the best person I could rather than 'grounding' myself. Part of my quest for self approval (a tough one as I have very high standards) was to experience the world a little and broaden my horizons. And now I look back on my quest of self discovery and realise that achieving my dream of travel is what broke me in the end. So, how can I believe in anything anymore, let alone true love? And how can you have a soul mate if you have no soul?
Saturday, December 10, 2011
I've been suffering from a nasty cough for a few weeks now. Jakers had it before me and I was hoping I wouldn't get smited because I could see how it was one of those lingering ones. The cough, for me, is particularly bad at night so I bought myself a cough bottle. I have went through pretty much every single cold and flu of my life without medicating myself. The first real flu I ever had (a freshers flu at uni) I got by on just a vicks inhaler. I didn't realise I had flu because I never had one before. And, I wasn't aware of flu remedies.
So every single cold I've had I've just muggled on because it was never as bad as that flu. But someone told me recently "When you feel pain, that's God's way of reminding you to take painkillers". I'm not a of purist though. I have munched my way through endless packets of pills when I've been suffering from frequent bouts of toothache. But colds never seem to warrant medication.
So, I bought myself a cough bottle, which helped me get a half decent sleep at least. When the bottle ran out and the cough had not shifted I went to the medicine cabinet and hoked out a bottle of medicine I was prescribed for blocked sinuses and ears. I somehow equated this medicine with my Boots cough bottle. Medicine's medicine, surely? Especially when they both come in the same form of a gloopy, sweet syrup. Bound to soothe the throat. Well, it did. And I still only used it at night when the cough was worse.
After a few days of feeling woozy, lightheaded and weak I tried to think about what was making me feel this way. The fact that I've completely cut sugar and e-numbers from my diet made me think I could be suffering from sugar withdrawal. A quick search on the internet showed that some of the symptoms were similar but after two weeks the worst of it should have been over. I've been off sugar for two months now. Another quick internet search showed that the medicine pseudoephedrine is much more likely to be the cause. It is a nasal and sinus decongestant and does nothing at all for a dry tickly cough. It is also a stimulant and it's adverse effects include anxiety, excitability, dizziness and palpitations.
So, it seems, the pseudoephedrine is the culprit for why I feel so goddam awful. Everytime I breathe in I feel lightheaded and woozy. This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to constantly breathe in. But, sadly, I do. My energy levels are worse than they've ever been and I feel like I'm wading through mud. I have butterflies in my tummy and I just want to sleep for a million years. I threw the medicine in the bin yesterday but I guess I just need to work the rest out of my system. And, not only that, before I was taking the medicine my sinuses were 100 per cent and now I can feel them getting all sore and sensitive. At the grand age of 29, I have learnt the all important lesson of only taking prescription medicines for what they were, initially, prescribed for.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Facebook is more for reminding everyone I ever kissed, hugged or got drunk with that I am still alive and still me. I can be a bit more open on Facebook knowing that only certain people can see my life.
Flickr is my photo account but the photos that I choose to share on it portray me as a doting aunt and a fairly normal human who gets out and about oncest in a while and takes nice photos of nice things.
The photos I upload to Facebook, however, portray me as a stupid, drunk, nearly-thirty-year-old who really is old enough to know better but is too stupid and drunk to care. People I don't want to see the photos don't. The ticket is to politely decline any unwanted friends and blame the ether for swallowing up all the data that was intended to be their friendshop request. I am well used to shrugging my shoulders and saying "technology". I will not go into how technology is much like a woman because I am a woman and that would be inappropriate. All's I will say on that matter is Spice Birds, Girl Power, where the f**k did that get us?
But anyway, back to the topic of Tumblr and rolling everything all into one handy account which would actually suit me very much as I find it difficult to remember more than one username and password combination. Do I opt for convenience over my right to split personality disorder. Do I succumb to being one boring, middle of the road me or do I cling on to the fact that in certain web spaces I can choose to show only the parts of me that I want to at that particular time? Who knows? Apparently this Tumblr thing isn't really gonna catch on until 2014 (this makes me laugh, how can they possibly predict such a thing?) so do I get in there early and when everyone else catches on I can declare it shite just as all the early facebookers did with bebo, or do I give in to the fact that I am deluding myself over the fact that I am so interesting as to have multiple cyber personalities? And maybe it's too late.
Friday, November 25, 2011
So, our plan involves running our own shop. This shop will sell everything handcrafted. A range of jewelry made from beads, silver, fimo and whatever else we can get our hands on. I'm thinking of covering all areas from classic to kitsch. There will also be a wood section. For years I've been saying to Bert, who's a bit of a wood whisperer, that he should get into the wooden toy market. I told him I would sell them in a heartbeat. I also know a few other people that are a dab hand at the arts and crafts. Basically, we would run the shop as a co-operative. Whoever wanted to sell their products could.
I like the idea of the workshop being open as well so that when people come into browse you don't have to be breathing down they're neck. Our shop would have a lovey ambient atmosphere. And it would smell like fresh watermelon and kiwi.
I'd like to make use of the beeswax out at Nellybert's. Unfortunately Burt's Bees is already a well known product so I think we'd have to think of another name for all the lip bams, hand creams and ointments I'll be making.
Obviously there'd be a photography section where local photographer's (not naming names, cough cough) could display and sell they're art. And I think it would be nice to offer a selection of tasty homemade cupcakes and muffins. Oh, and I forgot, I know a good few people who can knit up a storm :)
I got very excited when I was telling Jakers all about it. He says he could do a website for it. I like the idea of having a buisness that, if it worked, would benefit not only me but several members of my family and friends. I know it's a cut throat word out there and I know that I think about things in a somewhat naive way but sure, if it makes me happy for an evening.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
In between the morning and evening rushes there are endless cups of tea to be made, several trips to the shed for fuel replenishment, the odd egg to fry and (thanks to Charlie having an upset tummy) quite a lot of soiled newspapers to bin. I have also been able to squeeze in a bit of time for internetting, dog grooming and painting. I have also came up with clues for a treasure hunt for my youth group. I pillaged mum's music collection and did a bout of dowloading and so I now have my ipod up and running again. This is the most productie I've been. Ever.
Charlie has been etting on not too bad without mum and Bert and Judy. He hangs in the sitting room with me and tries to lark about with the other 2 dogs. Paddy positively hates him and Bonnie is not particularly keen on him either. So Charlie makes do with me and the cats. He's cuddling with me on the sofa now.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
In order for the gas to be changed we had to redd out the cuboards that had hel all the junk Jakers wouldn't let me throw in the skip when I first moved in. Seeing it all out on the floor made him realise that he needs to get rid of a good bit more junk. I wasn't allowed to chuck it all though as, I've recently learnt, Jakers has a strange sentimental attachment to certain broken objects. For example, he wouldn't let me throw away the, now useless, graphics card from his very first computer. Nor would he part with an old mixing deck that he and Dr. D had recorded many's a drunken tune on. I understand we all grow attached to inanimate objects but this, to me, includes things like teddy bears and old letters. The idea that anyone can become attached to technology seems ludicrous. Having said that, I don't think Jakers sentiments are wrong, I just find it odd how we can be so different.
Tonight is Jakers big night. I'm not saying anything about it until I know the outcome. This is because I don't even know if I'll want to write about it. He's excited and nervous. I've a feeling I should be too but I'm calm at the minute. Let's see how calm and colleted I am in a few hours!
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
On Saturday night Jakers and I went bowling with his mum, his brother and The Boyfriend. The mum's boyfriend that is, not his brother's boyfriend. We had a great wee night and it ended with many ciders, a few whiskies, a music sesh and pizza. Actually it didn't end there, it ended with me Jakers and his bro walking back home with Jakers shouting at me to hurry up while I drunkenly dawdled by behind claiming that I was just doing my 'own wee thing'. I'm not sure what 'my own wee thing was' because I went home and promptly passed out, fully clothed, on top of the bed.
Well, I had planned on doing a really nice thoughtful post on Sisters, y'know, because of my sister giving birth to a sister for her daughter. Just gets you thinking....but, unfortuntely, my train of thought was interrupted by Jaker's and a mate coming in from training, all full of testosterone and pumped up on protein shakes and doing stretches, manly ones of course. So it kinda rained on my sweet girly sentiments. I will keep for another day.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Bad Thing - Having wisdom tooth ripped out leaving me sore and naive :(
Good Thing - Jakers reading my mind and knowing that an omelette was exactly what I
wanted for dinner :)
Bad Thing - Rotten taste in my mouth due to aforementioned extraction :(
Good Thing - Off sweets, chocolates, biscuits and desserts for over a week and feel
Bad Thing - Off sweets chocolates and biscuits and a new and interesting sweet shop
has just opened :(
Good Thing - Successful driving lesson. 10+ roundabouts conquered :)
Bad Thing - Still shit at changing gears and general driving :(
Good Thing - Going round to Jaker's friends' for authentic Peruvian cuisine :)
Bad Thing - General annoyance at work :(
Good Thing - Tomorrow is Sunday :)
Monday, October 17, 2011
Yesterday Jakers and I headed out to Nellybert's for a little woodwork project. Last week I called into an old fashioned DIY type store in town. I thought it was Herbison's but that is the shop on the opposite side of the street (long closed now and nobody seems to remember what kind of shop it was). I called in on the offchance that he might sell bits of wood. Apparently not, and apparently I was a total eejit for even thinking so. He said to try a timber yard or B&Q both of which I scoffed at being no use. He then reached up to a shelf where one lonely, dusty box sat. It was some form of wooden shelves. It was no use but I noticed the many tubs of rat killer on the shelf below. I laughed and told the shopkeeper I wanted the wood for my rat cage. I was just about to leave when he went out the back and came out with a plank of wood.
'Would that be of any use to you' Says he.
'Oh aye, that would do the job alright. What will you take for it? Says I.
'Och, a pound will do' Says He.
'A pound? Sure take two for it.' Says I.
'Oh no, no, a pound will do.'
And with that I marched up the street with my plank of wood under my arm.
When I got home I showed it to Jakers. He asked me how much it cost and I told him, proudly, that it only cost a pound. Jakers was disgusted. I was ripped off. I paid a pound for an old dusty shelf that had fallen off the wall. And it was riddled with woodworm.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
When you're addicted to sugar you never feel thirsty. I've often worried that my poor brain is dehydrated. I don't feel stupid or anything but it can't be good for me never being thirsty. Even when I'm in hot countries.
So last night I decided that me and sugar were not a good combination. If I merely had a 'sweet tooth' it would be ok but, unfortunately, I'm going to have to be an 'all or nothing' kinda girl when it comes to sweets. It's gonna be hard. Really hard. I'm the girl who dreams about sweets then wakes up disappointed because I have none, the girl who trawls around restaurants asking them if they will serve me dessert only, the girl who orders sweets online, I was going to be the auntie who let her niece try all the best sweets. Sweets and sugar have been such a massive part of my life for so many years. How will I ever cope? I also feel bad that I got Jakers hooked on the stuff. And him a purist who doesn't drink booze and only eats his dinner from Marks and Spencers.
Monday, October 10, 2011
It was Jakers birthday on Friday. We were meant to go for a Birthday lunch but I slept in 'til 3 O'Clock so we went for dinner instead. During our meal we discussed, at length, how they had made the walls in the restaurant, where to find a sheep herding mongolian breeder (this is an ongoing private joke, which I am pretty sure no one else would understand) and we also pretended we didn't know each other and made up ridiculous answers to the standard first date questions. I think I enjoyed the banter ust as much as the food.
On Saturday morning I woke up ridiculously early, (apperently adults can't oversleep without paying for it the next night) but had a lovely day perusing the town and losing at bowling. Saturday night we rocked up at the Dreen Road for Jakers' Birthday celebrations. It was a bit of a sausage fest, as Bert so charmingly put it, but it was a great wee night with much guitar playing, singing and merriment. Dougie found it particularly good fun to accompany the dogs in some good ol' fashioned barking.
I then woke up on Sunday afternoon at 3 O'Clock (perhaps I am still a teenager after all). After a lovely week off I relished the last few hours of Sunday lying around being lazy. And now that summer is over I'm back to working 4 days a week. The difference in my pay is barely even noticeable and the extra day off a week is much more useful. So when I woke up this morning with a small groan I reminded myself that I only had to work 2 days and then I had another 2 days off. Woo to the Hoo!
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
A lot of the photos featured a young Bert between the ages of 0-12. He seemed to have a grand old time on his farm with the hens and goats and tractor rides. They were very sweet photos. Very natural and wholesome which is something that is almost lost in today's modern photography (teenagers posing with tongues sticking out and 'Jordan pouts'). Amongst some of my favourites were Bert on his little trike, on which Pearlie had stuck on an 'L' Plate, Bert on his rocking horse, Bert and his father on the tractor, Bert hugging a hen in the lawn, Pearlie and Johnny sitting in the stacks of hay while a baby Bert played with the dog, Bert and the dog in the boot of the car. I could go on but there is just too many. The dog, although it wasn't always the same dog, featured in nearly all of the photographs. It is no wonder Bert is such a big fan.
There was a particularly lovely one with Bert in the arms of his father at the seaside. Bert is probably not even a year old and he's clutching onto his dad's tie. I got this one blown up and framed for Bert. I remember Johnny well. I, too, used to go for rides in the tractor with him. He was a kind, gentle man. Just like Bert.
I stayed at mum's last night and sat in with Pearlie while we looked at all the photos together and she told me who everyone else was. Her memory is as sharp as a tack. It was a nice way to spend time with her. And it also pleased me to know that she would get great pleasure going through them with her niece and her sister.
Work has been pretty tough lately with one thing and another but getting those negatives scanned has made me realise that the job I do makes a lot of people very happy. Selling photos is a buisness and there will always be buisness politics but I know that the people who leave our shop and show their photos to everyone are spreading much more happiness than the shops who are selling clothes. I'm sure you've never bought a pair of jeans that has put a smile on anyone else's face but your own.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
The obvious answer to this is to go create another blog, never give away my true identity, and say whatever the goddamn fXXk I want to say. I have done this three times. Each and everytime I have been pipped at the first post. I create my account (bearing in my mind that I also have to create a new email account to totally diassociate myself from this blog) and I can never rememeber my username and password combo. The last time I did it I briefly thought about writing down all my usernames and passwords so I wouldn't forget but, like every other time, I convinced myself I couldn't possibly forget. I have the same problem with my online halifax account.
So, my point is, I'm tired of censoring myself. I don't exactly have a big audience so why not say whatever the fXXk I want. And if that means posting a bit of offbeat 'poetry' then so be it. I unleash the beast within:
Tuesday came and and the promise that I'd made was broke,
The strain was too much,
What little strength I had left has faded into nothing,
The flame that flickered was blown out by a gentle gust of wind,
My eyes are not tired,
My brain is not tired,
But, oh my god, my soul is so weary.
And when my body is tired I can lie down,
When my brain is tired I can sleep.
But sometimes there is no rest,
For my soul that silently weeps.
Friday, September 16, 2011
When we finally found our location we had the best fun, literally, rolling around in the hay. We were working with Maggie Young on her music video 52 Acres of Barley. Me and Jakers had to play young lovers so there wasn't much acting on our part really. Except for trying to get away with looking like teenagers. My friend Pepe was playing Maggie's lover and he had the pleasure of being covered in lipstick and getting his top off. It was great fun and a pleasure to be a part of it. I'm still siinging the song in my head.
On Wednesday I helped mum with a bit of soul cleansing. She was well overdue a clutter clearout and she was lacking the vital skills which makes a clutter clearout successful. The vital skills basically consist of being a ruthless, heartless bitch. Neither mum or I trusted each other in the attic alone. Mum was trying to sneak useless 'toot' by me for keeping. I was trying to sneak useless 'toot' in the chaity box without her noticing. We were both caught out eentually. But at least there were no actual fights. And though it wasn't even my stuff or my house I enjoyed it immensely because I knew how good it would make mum feel to let go of a lot of materialistic baggage.
Yesterday evening Jakers had his little girl up. She'd brought her friend around and they amused themselves with Moshi Monsters on the laptop. I brought out the flatpacked coffee table that mum had bought from Ikea several weeks ago and decided she didn't want anymore even before it was out of the packet. I took it off her hands as we lack a coffee table and they are actually pretty useful. As soon as the girls seen me taking it out they were down on the floor with me helping me to put the legs on. And later, when I sat down to do some of my glow in the dark jigsaw, they sat down to help me with that. It just goes to show that kids will entertain themselves with TV and computers but, maybe, given the choice, they'd prefer to do something more practical.
So now it's Friday evening and I managed to squeeze in a bit of time to clean my flat properly so I'm sitting here relaxing and feeling pretty chufed with myself. It's been a great week and I still have two more sleep in's but, even better than that, today I had a driving lesson and I actually drove on real roads through the outskirts of the town and home again. I was so pleased with myself that my instrutor couldn't help being excited for me. As I was thanking him he said "You know, us instructors enjoy it too". And I was by no means a perfect driver but I was still driving, And not only that, I'm finally doing something that I had put off for so long. It was like a big box that hung over my head, waiting to be ticked. I am already planning the most epic of road trips :)
Monday, September 12, 2011
The dentist took an X-ray of my teeth. He doesn't yet know if my toothache is due to an abcess or my teeth grinding. Either way he's going to charge me a fortune. My teeth grinding is pretty bad. Many's a morning I have woke to find Jakers lying on the sofa. I'm getting fitted with a mouth guard which will sting me £50 and I will no longer be able to suck my thumb when I'm sleeping. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
The rats are being lazy today. I'm thinking of joining them. I wish I had a hammock though.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
After that I have an appointment with the dentist. He is sure to charge me a fortune. The rest of Monday is mine though. On Tuesday I hope to join Miss Martha at the fun factory. Aunty Jayney is coming along as she adores Martha and Martha thinks Jayney is also very nice.
Also on Tuesday, weather permitting, I shall be hanging out on a farm to do cool stuff. I shall report more when it's happened. I also plan to help Nelly do a wile lotta redding out. I've told her we have to be ruthless. I think I get a little kick out of being ruthless. Only with clutter around the house though. There is something immensely satisfying about getting rid of things that lie around doing nothing.
I'm not sure what the rest of the week will hold but I'm looking forward to chilling out a bit aswell. I'm sure the rats will be lavished with plenty of attention. I'll probably go out and spend a fortune on toys for them. And, after all that, I hope I have time to do my new glow in the dark jigsaw. So, if you're looking for me, I'll be in a dark room trying to piece together the glow in the dark puzzle.
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Martha's dolly wanted to go for a swing but she's much too little to go on a grownup swing on her own so Martha accompanied her.
After all that Martha needed a rest so she hung about on the hammock putting her feet up.
After a good rest Martha was picking berries in the tunnel where she remembered that cat's exist. She tried to cuddle Holly but she was having none of it. I reminded Martha that it was Freddy who she liked. So off we went on a big hunt for Freddy. We tried the greenhouse, Pearlie's room, all the bedrooms and the shed. Eventually he turned up under the car. Martha petted him then chased him right up the back lane.
Finally it was time for Granny and Martha to go for a wee spin on the ninky nonk train. I think this was maybe the most fun part of the day for Martha. And for Granny. And for me.
As well as all that Martha managed to fit in time to bath Dolly who was in dire need of it, eat berries, complete an obstacle course and see the 'other piggies' who she has become rather fond of. We shall not tell her that one day those piggies might be 'nunch'.
Monday, August 22, 2011
I love this picture. I don't know why I just do. Notice the pots and pans? It was New Year and Nelly had cooked up a storm. But it wasn't the Last Supper because, as you can see, the bread and wine is there but Jesus is not. He missed a good night though.
I like the fact that it's quite ambiguous. Marty is playing an instrument but, as it's body is hidden from view, he could be playing anything. He could be playing the hairy banjo. Jakers is also preoccupied with something in his hands. He could be playing the harmonica or he could be kissing a frog to see if it turns into a handsome princess. Who knows? I also like my guitar in the corner and the feather duster hanging with the kitchen utensils.
Friday, August 12, 2011
I had a lovely day yesterday with my mum and Martha. It occurred to me that what we here from a toddler's mouth is only a tiny fraction of what's going on in their head. For example. I stayed over at mum's and was sstill lying in bed when mum brought Martha up to see me. Martha said "Hannah. Up." and "Hannah. Hair." Of course, what she really meant was: Good lord Hannah look at your bedhead, it's a total mess, and what are you still doing in bed anyway, I've been up for hours.
Another example is when Bert tpld me that Martha is a porridge purist. She never lets you put anything on her porridge. As Bert scooped oranges into his bowl he asked Martha if she wanted some. She didn't say yes and she didn't say no but she looked at Bert as if to say: You ask me this every week Bert. You know I don't want stuff on my porridge.
But because she didn't say no Bert put one tiny segment of orange onto her plate which she looked at disdainfully. She then spooned out the orange, held it up to me and said "Hannah. Try." She is one cute cookie. And the orange was very nice. I don't know why Martha doesn't like them on her porridge.
Saturday, August 06, 2011
I wish I could buy that tree over there,
And from it, I'd hang up a swing,
And my mum, she could sit,
While I play my guitar,
And the tree, a sweet song she would sing.
And the song that she sings,
With her roots in the soil,
Is a comfort to all that can hear,
And my mum swings along, to the sweet, sweet song,
And whispers "I love you, my dear".
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Dirt Bird was home and, as always, it was a pleasure catching up with her. She was here for her brother's wedding. Her brother was marrying a girl from Slovakia and all the guests were given a box of Slovakian cakes and pastries to take home. When I eventually did get home I was craving a little sugar so I opened my box of Slovakian delights. I was so so eager to sample all the different varieties that I couldn't space it out over a few days so I took a single bite out of each one. The next morning Jakers wanted to try a bun. Then I had to tell him that I had, pretty much, just spoiled whole box of buns. Sorry babe.
Young Ben has been hanging out on the farm at Nellybert's. Young Ben who is wise beyond his years. On the 12th night BBQ Ben was mighty impressed with Wee Dill's guitar playing skills. He came out and said to Wee Dill's housemate Dr. D. "That guy's amazing at the guitar but he just has to believe it himself" But then I am reminded of his youth when he tells me that he was talking to Dirt Bird's mum, who's a teacher at his school. He asked if she knew Dirt Bird. Dirt Bird's mum said no and asked who this Dirt Bird was, to which Ben replied "Is she not your daughter?"
Rocky has been sporting a bad foot. The vet's given him medicine which he lapped up with milk, he's content enough to lie snoozing in his hammockand Pepe's pretty pissed off that he's getting special treatment. But she is being quite considerate by letting him have the hammock to himself. For now. And we'll have to keep them separated when we can't keep an eye on them. The vet said he was a good boy though. I really hope Pepe never has call to go to the vet 'cause I think she'd be a nightmare.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
And I don't get it. It's not like she's the first rock or pop star to die, or even die from drink and drug overdose. But most of the other famous causualties actually had a career for longer than a few years. It just all happened so quick. She shot to fame, she lived the lifestyle, she went too far, she descended into a dark, seedy world where she no longer had control. I can't help but blame the media. I think they grind people down to nothing. And the reason why Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison and Sid Vicious left a legacy behind is because they stayed wise enough and straight enough to put in the time and make good music for longer. My point is, there was no reason why Amy Winehouse couldn't have sorted herself out, worked on her career again and make a massive comeback. There was talent there in the first place and that never leaves you. The girl had a great voice and the soul behind it to carry her. But for her it was easier to get wasted than have to live up to people's expectations.
Anyway, all that aside, she was a human being, someone's daughter, someone's friend. You don't get to my age and not know someone who's died through drugs. Thankfully, nobody ever close to me but it's always sad. And I just think of all the people who really knew Amy and how they must feel.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Anyway, Rocky was a bit raging that Pepe got to post on my blog and he wants a wee turn at it so here is, Rocky the Rock Star:
I know you've heard a lot about me but that was from Hannah's point of view and she doesn't speak Rat and I think she's waaaaay off the mark. Firstly, I am not stupid I am just bone idle. Yes, I like to stuff my face and, yes I like to sleep for hours in my hammock while Pepe runs around like a mental skittish bitch (hope I don't get into trouble for calling Pepe a bitch)but it was them who insisted on getting my balls chopped so now my only pleasures in life are sleeping and eating. Having said that though, I do so love to get out a wee scoot. Hannah and Jakers let us 'free range' round the living room, and though it'ss only a wee living room to them, it's practically a whole country for us. I love jumping up on the window sill and looking out over the universe. I also like to have a wee nibble at the Parrot plant they keep there. Well, that's all for now, I just wanted to set the record straight that I am not a dumbass. I'm actually quite sensitive.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
I stayed over at my friends last night to keep her company while her parents are on holiday. Her cousin informed us of a ceriain internet phenomenom called Chat Roulette. Well, it involves switching your web cam on and chatting (or otherwise) to someone half way across the world. If you don't want to chat you hit a button and you see someone else who you may want to chat (or otherwise) to. Obviously it's a total breeding ground for exhibitionists wanting to show off their assets in the hope of enticing someone to do a little more than just chat. I guess that's where the roulette part comes in because every time you hit the button you don't know if your gonna be staring at someone's face or someone's assets. Needless to say, we are innocent girlies and we did a lot of shrieking. We also sang Danny Boy to some Jamaican lads.
Saturday, July 09, 2011
The new sofa has no holes and all we had to do was barricade the TV so they couldn't hide in Wire City and they were able to run loose. I realise that having a couple of rats running round your living room doesn't appeal to everyone but domestic rats are very clean animals and will hold their poohs and pees in til they get back to their cage. Also, it fills my heart with glee to hear the pitter patter of their feet as they scuttle about.
Up til now we have let them roam on the sofa. They crawl all over us, using our shoulders to jump to the top of the sofa where they like to snuggle when they get bored. And that's the thing, they do get bored and need lots of things to keep them entertained. It's Saturday night and I reckoned watching the rats run about the room was a much more worthwhile pursuit than going out and getting blocked.
We thought it might be hard getting Pepe back into the cage again but she didn't put up a fight and she was rewarded with a nice bit of cheese. Rocky never gives us any bother so he got cheese too. They actually looked like happier rats after their little taste of freedom. And we were happy and proud that it was such a success. I said to Jakers "See, we're good parents after all."
It's been a Rocky road at times but now I know that those rats have all they could ever wish for, and more.
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
But.....someone else has something to say. It's Pepe the rat:
Well, Hannah thought that Rocky would be the first to guest blog but he hasn't learnt to read or write yet 'cos he's a thicko. I think the fat has clogged up his arteries and the blood doesn't flow to his brain so good. I used to have lots of adventures round the flat. One of my favourite places was behind the TV where all the wires were. I never nibbled them. I waited until Hannah or Jakers put their hands in and nibbled them instead. Except, they didn't like me nibbling them and always shouted at me. I don't get out and about as much these days since me and Rocky got the new cage. I do like it. I especially like the soft flannel hammock. Sometimes me and Rocky just lie in there all day long. I'm not sure what I make of Hannah and Jakers. They're ok sometimes and give me bits of ham or cheese or fruit but sometimes I just want to bite them, just for the hell of it. And sometimes I have a good scrap with Rocky. Ok, that's all for now, I'm ready for a nice big snooze in the hammock. Cheerio
Sunday, July 03, 2011
We also took a walk to look at a new prospective house. It looks lovely and if I could wish for anything right now it would be to have that house. This depends on the rent being affordable and the landlord choosing us over anyone else interested in it. But, as with everything, if it's meant to be it will be. I hope it is.
Saturday, July 02, 2011
As annoying as it is I didn't have much faith in getting the job anyway and I just take it all as a sign that it wasn't meant to be. Ho well.
I've been staying at Nellybert's once a week. This is mutually beneficial as I'm pretty sure that mum and Bert like having me around and I get to have yummy dinners like Granny Stew (basically Irish stew but always tastes better when cooked by a Granny). Another perk for me is getting to cuddle with Harry and Judy. Judy climbs into bed with in the middle of the night and I wake up with her underneath the blankets. She wakes up with me in the morning, hangs about 'til I leave for work and then runs upstairs to mum's bed for more cuds and snugs.
I've been living in the town for a good while now and have forgotten the ways of the countryside. I was outside when I saw a strange small object on the ground. I picked it up and it was hard and slightly curved like a small banana. I inspected it closely and wondered if it was a claw from some kind of sea creature. Then I saw the indistinguishable marks and squealed as I realised I had picked up a hard, dry, dead slug. Yuck!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Jakers and I made a donation and were entered into a raffle. I said to him, "We're gonna win something, I know we are." And we did. We won a meal for two, cooked by a fella Willy, who is, apparently, an amazing chef. He sat down to discuss what we'd like on the menu. I said chicken and his face fell. Chicken wasn't exciting enough. When I said fish, his face lit up. We were told by others that we were in for a treat.
It would have been a great night even if we hadn't won anything but it was definitely the icing on the cake. And we have a delicious meal to look forward to. Though I'm not a big fan of fish so I hope he really is as amazing as everyone says.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Today is the first day of my life. My new life. The one that will be good and happy and niiice. I have decided that and it's up to no one else but me. I may feel a bit weird and queasy but it's better than feeling numb.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
I got home this evening to find a note from the post man saying they'd tried to deliver a parcel but it was too big for the letterbox. They normally take it back down to the delivery office where you have to pick it up in person but this time the postman left it with our 'designated neighbour'. We don't have a designated neighbour and I was quite concerned that Mr. M. in 50A was chowing down on my sweets. He didn't though. He called round with the parcel earlier and I opened up, literally, a box of delights. Like I say, I'd totally forgotten what I'd ordered. So now I have a big box of sweets consisting of; red and black beaded berries, rose and lemon turkish delight, raspberry flavoured vampire teeth (a personal favourite), violet bud boiled sweets, banana and mango boiled sweets and a bag of strawberry flavoured tongues. It's all about appreciating the small things in life.....and having enough money in the bank to pay the dentist when my teeth go green.
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Tonight Jakers was teaching me how to box. I enjoyed that too but then he decided he was gonna put me through my paces with a few press ups and squats. He pushed me til I could take no more which I knew he would and that's why I never agree to ecercise with him. We went out for dinner at the weekend and it was, pretty much, our first date. We've never been out for a meal as a couple. We went out to the new Indian restaurant and our waitress had just started that night. She was sweet and I'm not really used to tipping but we left her one so that the boss knew she was doing a good job.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Today was a mixture of loveliness, annoyance (rat bite), physical activity, and paranoia (will I get rat bite fever?). I had a lovely time with Miss Martha pushing her about in her car and looking through the box of farm animal figurines. There's a figurine of a woman in dungarees carrying a bucket of eggs who Martha liked to call 'Mummy' and there's another woman, dressed in a blue mini skirt and knee high black boots and she was, naturally, christened 'Ha'. God knows why though because Martha has never, and will never, see me dressed in a blue mini skirt and knee high black boots.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Between the heavy presence of police out to deal with the bomb scare on Wednesday, and the meeting of a seriously massive body builder you could say that I've seen a lot of big guns this week.
There's Rocky minding Pepe there and he too, like his namesake, has big guns. Though they're mostly fatty guns as opposed to muscly guns. I was looking online to see if I can get them harnesses and leads. Jakers doesn't approve though as the only decent ones we can find are pink and there's no way he's dressing his boy rat in pink. Says it's bad enough he's got no balls.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Today was a good day in work. No bomb scares (yesterday we were evacuated for nearly 2 hours because of a hoax call) which is always a plus, though we did have a biker guy ask if he could leave his jacket and helmet in the shop for 10 minutes, which, really we probably shouldn't have. But we'd also just taken his photo for a passport so we figured he wouldn't be leaving any bombs as we had photographic evidence of what he looked like.
Also, two of my favouritist customers were in and one brought me maltesers (cos she knows they're my favourite), and the other brought in her big body builder son who, apparently, I was flirting with. I don't even like muscly men.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
I bought Jakers lunch and took it into his work. His lunch consisted of a burger in a pastie and a pink iced bun. I went home. I surfed the net and drank tea. I prepared a batter mix for Staffordshire oatcakes. I left it to sit. I washed dishes and cleaned floors.
Mum called and we went for coffee. I had a cinnamon and apple scone. I came home. I kissed Jakers and cooked up my oatcakes. I wasted about a third of my batter mix before I came anywhere close to getting something that resembled an oatcake. By the time I had finished I had perfected the technique. I left the oatcakes to cool. I kissed Jakers and headed out to my voluntary work.
Some of the kids wanted to do music and were disappointed I hadn't brought guitars. I called Jakers and asked him if he would meet me halfway with the guitars. Boys got guitars and were happy. A somewhat productive music session occurred.
Got home at 9. Positive reports on the oatcakes. Tried some myself and was pretty chuffed that they tasted like they were meant to. Promised Nelly I'd throw some her way but, since I ruined half the mix and discovered that Jakers is a big fan of the Stafforshire oatake, I might have to make her wait 'til the next batch is made.
Sunday, May 08, 2011
The rage! The pure shock and disgust I felt at learnng that I would not be Judy's next of kin. Over my dead body says I. So last week was the first time that myself, Young Loveheart and Judy were in the same room. He called Judy over. She ran to him like a big wet blanket and cuddled into his chest. Wee bitch. So I called her over. She ran to me without even so much as a backward glance at Loveheart. Score! She's my dog, she loves me. She loved me dearly until she was called away again to cuddle with the enemy. We played dog frisbee for a while until even my sister Katy said that Judy should go live with Loveheart. Betrayed by my own flesh and blood. Not once, not twice but thrice.
I threatened to take Loveheart to court over the custody of Judy and he promised me I could have visiting rights. But this is just all wrong. I was living at home when Judy was a tiny pup. I cuddled her, sang to her, bought her dog toys and nurtured her. And I bet she has never even licked Loveheart's toes. She's licked mine.
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Me: How can it it be the Belfast Marathon's 30th Year?
Jakes: I know, i thought that?
Me: Because it's 1982-2011, that can't be 30 years.
Jakes: I know.
Me: Because we were born in 1982 and we're not 30 'til next year?
Jakes: I know, that's what I thought.
Me: And for it to be 30 years it would have to end in an even number and 2011 is an
Jakes: I know.
Me: And it would have to end in the number 2!
Jakes: I know.
Then I proceeded to count (on my fingers) from 1982 to 2011 and, sure enough, it was 30 years. This fries my head a wee bit.
But anyway, the point of this story is to congratulate Jakers in his participation of this year's (the 30th year) Belfast marathon. Well done baby! He had sore knees but the rats kissed them better.
Friday, May 06, 2011
"When you're washing up, pray. be thankful there are plates to be washed; that means there was food, that you fed someone, that you've lavished care on one or more people, that you cooked and laid the table. Imagine the millions of people at this moment who have absolutely nothing to wash up and no one for whom to lay the table"
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
We met Magda and a few of her other friends and went to Sandino's where we were entertained by an eclectic mix of live music. We then headed back to Magda and Steve's where we were fed mojito's and pizza. The next day we had a lovely breakfast in their garden, a stroll along the beach and yummy icecream at a traditonal cafe. We were very well looked after.
Last night I was at my mate's birthday party. It was a fun night playing drinking games and being silly. Today I could really do with a mint frappe (my new favourite hangover cure) but I'm going to have to settle for juice and doughnuts. Oh well.
Friday, April 15, 2011
After being at the zoo yesterday you'd have thought that the rats would have been boring to Martha but not atall. She thought they were great. And you'd have thought the rats would have been nervous with two dogs around but they are far too cocky to be scared. In fact, Maya was much more scared of the rats than they were of her.
Monday, April 11, 2011
I get to see my darling niece on a regular basis which I could write about at great length but I am aware that, whilst this is great for me and my family, it's not great reading for people who don't know me. It's an utter delight though to see her smiling at me, or hear her giggling when we play peekaboo.
There's also the rats of course, which are another endless source of delight. Rocky is getting fatter and fatter. Pepe's definitely not pregnant but she's earning herself the reputation of being the naughty one. We talk about the rats so much that mum says she dreads to think what we'll be like if we have kids.
It's my birthday this friday so I'm having a party to combine our flatwarming ratwarming and my last year of being a twentysomething. So that's my life at the minute in a nutshell. I'm happy and content but lacking in a bit of inspiration But if that's the least of my worries I'm doing alright really.
Monday, April 04, 2011
I do love my darling ratscals but, unfortunately, I've discovered that I'm allergic to them. This is what happens when their wee tiny clws even so much as slightly scrape my skin. My skin burns for about ten minutes then these huge itchy blotches appear. I've never reacted to anything quite so violently. Thankfully it settles down after half an hour and just leaves me with a bit of an itch. And this happened as a result of Pepe climbing up and down my back so I'll just have to avoid that in the future or wear thicker clothes.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
When I got back Jakers and I decided to go for a walk to make the most of the nice evening. We dandered up through the park to Sentry Hill where I spent a good few of my teenage years drinking cider and hooch. We realised that when we were kids we lived round the corner from each other. It's so strange to grow up in a town like this and never have ran into each other before we were 25. Just before we were leaving I asked if we could go to the clearing where we used to hang out. It's obviously not a popular hangout spot anymore as it's totally overgrown. Then I saw something and I asked Jakers "Is that a sleeping cat or a dead cat?". As it turns out it was neither, it was a teenage fox cub enjoying a siesta in the sun. It stirred slightly and we stood and enjoyed the moment for a while before letting it dream of cunning ploys to catch chickens. It maybe wasn't quite as magical as when I stumbled upon Freddy's encounter with a fox but it definitely made it a perfect day.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
They've been very lazy ratscals today but right now Rocky is giving Pepe's ears a thorough grooming. Pepe is still a bit nervous when we take them out. Rocky gets more and more confident by the day. Balls? Ha, who needs them? We are discovering that sliced ham is definitely one of their favourite treats. They prefer red grapes to green ones and they don't seem to like the special chocolate drops we got them.
Today has been, without a doubt, the nicest, warmest, sunniest day of the year. Let's hope it's not the last either. I met Zoe and Martha in the park and gave Zoe back some books that I'd borrowed about 4 years ago! At the minute I'm reading The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho.
Now I have to go to the dentist and get a nasher filled. Could have been a perfect day if it wasn't for that.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
After a spell on the slide, swings and the bouncy horsey thing I took her up to meet the rats. At first she was a bit annoyed at Jakers taking her pram up the stairs. I think she thought he was stealing it. It occurred to me that Martha is already aware that the pram belongs to her and her mummy and without it she wouldn't be able to go to all the nice places, like the park, so you could see why she wouldn't want anybody stealing it.
When she saw the rats she smiled but the closer she looked at them the more confused she seem to be. She said 'bird' and she said 'dog' and then, when she realised she didn't know what they were, she got a little fretful and didn't like them quite so much. On Thursday we done a bit more hanging out at the park and hanging out with Gra' and Great Gra' She loves her Gra's very much.
Rocky's definitely healing up pretty good and doesn't seem to hold anything against us for taking away his manliness. Pepe did a good job at looking after him and though there still a bit nervous around us they seem like they're pretty happy rats. Rocky has a little adventure under one of the chairs when my mate Emma let him free range round the floor. Of course, I was completely nerotic and thought he'd be there forever or we'd squish him trying to force him out. We got him out eventually and he seemed rather pleased with his first proper adventure. It will be the first of many no doubt.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
So we went to pick him up and were greeted by a different receptionist who felt that it was too much effort to say 'Hello, how can I help you?'. I told her we were there to pick up Rocky the rat and, without smiling, she clicked a few buttons on the computer and said "That's thirty-six pounds fifty". She was so dour Jakers said he was expecting her to say "Computer says no". And when the vet came out with Rocky in his shoe box she wrinkled her nose and asked why anyone would want to keep rats. To be fair, she knew her stuff and answered all our questions but why would you be a vet if you didn't like rats?
Anyway, we got Rocky home and he felt very sorry for himself but still managed to eat. Pepe was pleased to see him and went in for a cuddle but when Rocky lay in his clear plastic tube, writhing in pain and discomfort, she knew to let him be. Rocky spent the night in a separate cage and Jakers reunited them this afternoon. Rocky is still not rightly at himself. He's a bit more comfortable than he was last night but he's doing a lot of sleeping and lying on top of Pepe. He's also doing a lot of munching so he must be on the mend.
Monday, March 07, 2011
Rocky makes his wee trip to the vet on Wednesday. I can honestly say that phoning up and registering him with the vet is the first thing that's ever really made me feel like an adult. I did, however, give them my mum's address because I still don't know what my new post code is. It's a shame we have to get him neutered though because we were just building up our trust with him. And I guess getting his balls chopped off is gonna make him hate us. I hope he can be appeased with apple and kiwi fruit.
Right now the rats are having a tussle with each other, letting out little squeaks every once in a while. They stop fighting periodically to groom each other. Full of mischief so they are. I'm away to play with them.
Thursday, March 03, 2011
It is becoming more and more clear that Rocky is definitely a boy. I told my (male) friend that we were pretty sure he was a boy due to the fact he was growing a set of balls. My friend laughed and said "Well I know that's how they came to the conclusion that I was a boy"
So, to avoid us having loads of inbred baby rats I have to take Rocky to the vet to get neutered. I feel awful about it but I would feel more awful about taking Pepe back to the pet shop to replace her with a male. Rocky and her have already bonded and to give her a taste of a life that she could have and then take her back to the pet shop is just unthinkable. So Rocky's balls have to go. Poor thing.
Monday, February 28, 2011
ROCKY AND PEPE!!!!
Here are our two gorgeous rats. Right now they are snoozling away but all in all I think there settling in really well. Poor old Rocky's been a bit gender-confused but after he was a girl, then a boy, then a girl again, we're pretty sure now that he is a boy. And we're pretty sure that Pepe is definitely a girl. Could be problematic months down the line but we'll cross that bridge when it comes to it.
I went out yesterday and bought them some toys. I want to give them as much stimulation as possible because they're clever little critters that would get bored easily without things to climb and stuff to munch on. They get on really well together, snuggling together for sleeping, grooming each other and play fighting. It would have broke my heart to let Rocky miss out on the company of another rat.
Well, as much as I would love to blog about my babies all day long, unfortunately, I have a lot of rather mundane chores to be getting on with.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Today in work was tough. It just seemed to be one of those days. I thought the sunshine made everyone more happy and relaxed but apparently it has the opposite effect on certain people, making them uppity and, generally, very annoying. The worst customer today was Mr. F., a well-known local wino. He wanted passport photos taken but only had 30p in his hand. He was wobbling all over the place making me feared that he'd fall into a rack of frames. He then staggered over to the stools by the kiosk, sat down, and proceeded to fall asleep.
But ah....that was work and I'm at home now watching Rocky and her sister munching on kibbles and dinner is cooking and I have a night out planned and I'm off the next two days and sure, is that not great?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Now that we're all broad-banded up all we need to make our cosy flat complete is a pet rat (or two). I'm hoping that Rocky the Rat will have a flair for blogging. He could take over for me on nights that I'm too tired.
Despite not having internet I've been keeping myself busy enough with work, jigsaws and endless episodes of Family Guy and American Dad. I've also taken to recording Countdown and watching it in the evenings, which, I've been told, is very sad and marks the end of my life as a young, adventurous twenty-something putting me firmly in the bracket of an old, boring seventy year old pensioner with nothing better to do with my time. Of course, now that I have internet I can cling on to my youth.
Hooray for internet, and days off and tidy flats!!!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Last New Year I had organised a party to combine Dirt Bird's birthday, the New Year and my going away gig. But I was dying of a cold last year and sneaked off to bed, not once, but twice before the clock struck twelve. Other than that I really don;t remember much about it. This New Year, however, was very enjoyable. A nice mix of loved ones and music with just a dash (ok....a whole bottle) of Jamesons' whiskey.
The next day I took me and my bad head to sweat out the badness in a hot tub. Dirt Bird's uncle has one in his garden and he invited us up for her Dirtieth Bird Day. I could do with one of those every weekend.
Right, anyway, I would write more but my neck hurts so I'm gonna go see if I can wangle a massage off Jakers. Hopefully it won't be so long before I update next time.