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Friday, October 30, 2015

Bad Week Good Week

This week has been a great week. I wonder was it really that awesome or is it just in comparison with the week before which was horrendous? Here's a snapshot of those two weeks.

Saturday night week one - get off the plane, Bert, Judy Pudding and Ziggy waiting for me. Dropped off at home. Boys come round with drink and we make music and catch up for a few hours. Realise it's midnight and get a taxi to the pub. Stay there until 3 in the morning. Go home, pass out.

Sunday - force myself to get out of bed at 11 so I can get to sleep at night. Regret my decision. Lie on the sofa feeling sorry for myself. Attempt a dog walk. Fail miserably but think Ziggy is just as tired as I am. Go to shop. Buy ice cream. Feel sorry for myself all day.

Monday - go to work. Survive. Go to class. Realise that I am not enjoying anything about this year whatsoever. Do 'here and now' exercise. Go home and try to process the days events.

Tuesday - Hard day at work. Overtime cut. Stress about money. Shattered. Music night. Everyone's playing an instrument except me. No inspiration for words. Want everyone to go home so I can sleep. Too polite. Should have used my infamous line from a night in Thailand "You can stay, just turn off the lights and don't make any noise"

Wednesday - Day off. Finally! Go to meet woman about placement starting in January. Woman cancelled. Not her fault. Would have made me feel productive but ho well.

Thursday - Hate work. Still stressed about cutbacks.

Friday - Same as above!

All in all rather depressing. Cutbacks at work have a serious knock on effect to me being able to finish my course, and, the way I was feeling last week I was ready to knock it all on the head. Then came the Golden Week.

Saturday - Get overtime in work. Raging. Had expected to go home early and had made my peace. Feeling all over the place. Then...late Saturday evening...text message from boss. Trying her best to get us the hours we need and wanting everyone to work together. Heart warmed. Working hard does pay off. Brilliant music session. Didn't go to the pub.

Sunday - Clear head. Energised. Ziggy walked, drawers decluttered, paperwork sorted, files organised, bed sheets changed. New woman. Buy ice cream.

Monday - Work good. Half term, no class, coursework started, yee ha!

Tuesday - Work good. Bonding session with flatmate. Tell him it is time he buys toilet paper. Music night good.

Wednesday - Meet with woman about placement. Find my mojo. Coursework flowing. Feeling productive.

Thursday - Work good, dog walk with Zen N, get lost in drawing a piture of the blowhole.

Today - Work exhausting, but good. Fridge full of yougurts and cheese.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

The Bonus Hour

It was a pleasure to meet my new nephew. Obviously I'm a little biased but he is absolutely gorgeous. His main tricks are; feeding, crying, poohing and giggling. He's a real wee smiler and he's rather fond of classical guitar music. This was the longest time I've spent in any baby's company and, well, it certainly didn't put me off. In fact, it made me a little broody (like I wasn't broody already!).

Little J looks a lot like his mummy. I know this because I used to look at all of our baby photos. I am sure as he grows older he will resemble his father's features too but I think we tend to see our own genes in babies because they are more familiar to us. When I was a baby I only looked like one member of our family and that was a great aunt on my dad's side. It might just have been a coincidence though and mum even said recently she wonders if they gave her the right baby at the hospital. She's stuck with me now though!

Music has been going strong recently. We all feel like we're learning. I am learning less technical, musical instrument stuff than the boys but I am learning to be more confident and less ashamed of my creative pursuits. I remember the days when I tried to play in front of people and my throat would close over. I am less concerned about being perfect and more concerned with singing my heart out because it just feels so damn good. Blogger doesn't give me the option to upload videos or I would share one but, hey, the rate we're going you'll be able to see the GCDC's at the Royal Albert Hall in 2016 ;)

Oh, and I was pleased about the bonus hour this weekend. Not as pleased as I'll be next March when we're minus an hour but I have to see the silver lining at the minute.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Photos Replace Words

Life really is busy at the minute. The summer had me spoilt. I haven't even had time to see my nieces in weeks. The universe planned to rectify this by chance meetings in the street twice in two days and then a short visit from them today. Even the briefest of interactions with them make me happy. And when they haven't seen me in a while they are full of smiles and cuddles and kisses.

Even more exciting, I get to meet my nephew on Wednesday. Katkins can't wait to introduce her little darling to one of his aunties and I can't wait to meet him. This means that Mr. Zigatron Grumbleface Marley will have to spend four whole days away from me. I expect lots of licking and snurfling and grumbles when I get back.

I can see now that I have the option to upload photos. I might as well add some colour to the palace.

Wednesday, October 07, 2015

Two New Songs and a Bouncy Ball

I was going to put up some photos of Ziggy the Beach Dog when we were on our road trip but blogger seems to have changed and I can't see any options to upload photos. Surely this can't be?

Perhaps the doctor's prescription of smarties wasn't such a bad idea as I seem to have perked up considerably. On Saturday night Ziggy and I headed out and I realise now that Ziggy is much more popular, more memorable and more loved than I am but this is the advantage of being a wee hairy dog baby with a little button nose and floppy ears. It was a fun night and it ended up with the usual friendly debate I have with everyone, in which I get accused of being naive because I truly believe that the world will become a better place.

Work has been more tolerable. The course has been a reminder of one of my most difficult ongoing challenges, which is my tendancy to procrastinate because of crippling insecurities. I ask myself everyday if I'm ready to be a counsellor and my heart and soul say yes and then my mind pipes in telling me all kinds of reasons why I'm not ready. On the plus side, all of the worry and doubt around the course has been replaced by lots of creative inspiration. I might not be focusing on my studies as much as I feel I should but I've written two new songs in a week and so at least I'm being productive in some way. This consoles me. Also, I made a bouncy ball. I told my tutors this when they asked each of us to say one positive thing that had happened that week with regards to our placement. One of them looked baffled. I thought she was questioning my commitment but she just wanted to know how I had made a bouncy ball.