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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Joy Riding Dreams

The other night I had a dream so damn ludicrous I have to share it with the world. Mel and I were driving in her mum's car. We'd left it briefly to call into a shop to get sweets and when we came back there were 4 young hoody-wearing, joy-riding yobs driving away in the good car. Fortunately, they weren't driving that fast so we were able to chase them. Unfortunately, the only thing I had to stop them from stealing the car was a pair of dirty knickers, which I proceeded to rub in the face of the driver so that he couldn't see where he was going. He crashed, repeatedly, into a lamp post!

Dad, The Lovely Linda and Katkins and her future hubby have joined us in the Land Of Ire for a week of holiday fun and mid term madness. Katy is making a crustless quiche and there's a special Nigelly cake in the fridge. There's Jameson's on the sideboard and I have a mechanic helicopter to construct. Surely it don't get much better than that?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Is Carlos More Crazy Than The Zombie Catepillars?

I have been trying to blog but I think I'm a bit sick of myself. Sick of the things I write and they way I write about them. The weekend was good. I spent Saturday night in the local with a low-key crowd that consisted of some part-time musicians, full-time alcoholics, two woman, both mad but in different ways, a sweet young gay guy who has befriended me, and Carlos, whose possibly from Spain but most likely from the moon.

Carlos is a regular at the bar. He acts like a crazy but harmless fool. But he's crazy in a way which makes you wonder if he's putting it on. I really don't know his story and neither does anyone else. He talks to many but no one really understands him. I can't help get the impression he just finds it easier that way. Pretending to be mad rather than trying to get people to understand him. I was thinking of trying it out for a bit.

I couldn't help but get totally fascinated by the caterpillars that were crawling up the outside window one day last week. I went out for a closer inspection and noticed the caterpillars were lying over these bundles of yellow pods. I asked Bert about them but all he knew was that the caterpillars came from the cabbages. Turns out that tiny wasps sting larvae into the 'pillars and this makes them head up high, where the larvae explodes out of them, killing them. I was reading all about it here. Bert brought some into the house with the cabbages. He said he kept trying to chuck them in the compost but they kept crawling out. That's because they're programmed to head up high so the larvae can explode. Bert should no better than to try to upset the course of nature.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Sweet Eggs

When it comes to cooking dinner I only really have a few dishes; Thai curry (haven't made one of these for ages as my version of a Thai curry takes about 2 hours to make and 2 hours is something I just don't have these days); Fajitas (technically, this is cheating, as I buy the Old El Paso kits); Sausage Surprise (this is a fairly 'loose' dish. The surprise is basically whatever veg and sauces and herbs there are lying around; and, last but not least, omelette.

Last night I decided to make omelette for me and mum. It was a very tasty cheese and ham omelette which was very much enjoyed by mum and myself. But, even when you're the ripe old age of 27 there are still lessons to be learned:

I asked mum if she wanted some bread buttered. She said aye. I asked her did she want plain white bread. She said she'd take a bit of wheaten. I buttered her wheaten and left some dinner in for Pearlie. When I sat down at the table mum said:

By the way, that wasn't wheaten bread, it was treacle bread.

What mad cat baker thought it was a good idea to cunningly disguise some treacle bread as an innocent wheaten soda farl? Aw well, mum wasn't bothered. She said it tasted 'interesting'.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Bad To The Bone (And Pure Clean Rotten)

My tiny little mind may actually inflate to the point of explosion, spraying bits of skull and brain juice everywhere. The dogs will probably come and sniff at it, lick a little bit up. Paddy dog might even stash a bit of my skull away for 'ron.

Talking of bones for the dogs. My friend at work's dad got some more bones for Paddy and Bonnie. She told me this on Monday but I was working at my other job and said I'd get them the next day. Can you see where this story's going? I walked into work on Saturday morning, slightly tired, a wee bit hungover. As I walked in I noticed a funny smell. I was too polite to say anything but then Miss JL mentioned it and I agreed there was, indeed, a bad smell. It wasn't 'til she asked what was in the fridge that I said:

Oh no, I forgot to take those bones for the dogs!

Cue lots of squealing, lots of laughing and the other girl being physically sick. Miss JL was also hungover. What a way to start the day off! And, to be fair, it didn't get much better.