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Wednesday, March 30, 2016


I had a really lovely Easter weekend despite the fact that I didn't get one single day off work. What made it so lovely? Girls. And plenty of them. Well two of them...but two of the best. Dirt Bird arrived on Thursday. We took Ziggy for a walk and then headed off to the Pizza Parlour for dinner and wine. On Saturday the Lovely Mels was back. Mels was my roadtrippin' buddy last year and it's always a pleasure to see her. So Dirt Bird, Mels, Gus and I went to the treehouse, lit a fire and proceeded to play guitar and the 'oddja boodja' game to drown out the sound of the wind howling through the leaves and the branches creaking. The treehouse was actually moving and had it not been for the fact that it has survived many's a dstrong storm in the past three years I'd have been a little worried for our safety. Also, we managed to make the stove glow red hot again.

Bert was in the house entertaining Mr. Banjo and Judy and Jess' dogfather. We tried to lure them up to the treehouse but they were being old men. Eventually we joined them for a bit of music making. It had been a while since I'd seen or heard Bert playing the clarinet and I have to say, he's passed the complete amateur stage and he plays some songs with real soul. Both Mr. Banjo and I were very proud of him.

Here is a video of me singing a song. Admittedly it's not a great recording, or even sung as well as it could be. Plus, I've adapted it slightly. It is very much a work in progress. As they all are. I'm taking a break from jamming with the boys so I can stay on top of my coursework and have some time to write lyrics for all the songs with no words. Then we'll have a load of songs with no name, and sure, that's all you can really expect from a band with no name. And no drummer :)

Tuesday, March 08, 2016

Grumbleface Grumbledon

My proper job has been taxing of late. I have cut down hours by my own choice because I don't want to be in that environment. Not only that, financially, it doesn't make sense for me to work too much overtime. I have been feeling the pressure of the course and placement. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I guess I didn't prepare myself for the double whammy effect of being both physically and mentally drained. This is another reason why I've cut hours down. I've realised that it's impacting on my patience and I need that for other areas of my life.

I had to take my rose tinted glasses off and come to the realisation that my peace, love and empathy is not quite as abundant as I had thought. I guess I'm probably becoming more real. It's ok to feel pissed off sometimes. It's a bit boring to feel pissed off all the time and nigh on impossible to sprinkle fairy dust on everyone and everything. I have most definitely denied myself the opportunity to experience negative emotions such as anger. Sadness is different. I have no control over it. But I can control my anger. And it's right to do so. But it's not right to try to be all sunshine, sweetness and light all of the time.

It's got a lot to do with speaking my mind more. Being assertive. Realising that my voice is important and that I'm allowed to feel overwhelmed and worried. And, sometimes, lonely. That isn't to say that I have resigned myself to this attitude. I'm just tired. Tired of that pressure I said I wasn't going to put on myself. Tired of the ram and shark inner critics butting and biting. Tired of being tired.

But there is stuff to do and that is better than not having stuff to do. There are things to look forward to and it is also Spring very soon. Any day now.