So I figured it was time I updated. Not that I have much to update. My life took a bit of a downward spiral. It wasn't one thing in particular but lots of things that eventually got on top of me no matter how much I tried to fight it. That was also part of the problem, trying to fight it when I had absolutely nothing left to fight with. Anyway, giving up is not an option. The only option is to deal with things accordingly.
So I've been thinking about what would be the perfect life for me. I don't mean a fairy tale life I mean real life. Firstly, I wouldn't live so far away from my boyfriend and friends. Though the countryside is beautiful and peaceful I can't help but feel isolated. I am a person who needs a lot of stimulation. The internet can only provide so much.
When I do eventually move into the town I plan to occupy my evenings much more constructively. For years I have had a yearning to learn T'ai Chi. I could start classes now but the travel back and forth between Ballymena and home would be tiresome and expensive. I'd also like to do some voluntary evening work to help me in my plight to become a social worker. Again, the travel holds me back.
Another thing missing from my life right now is making music with people. Playing geetar on my own is only fun to a certain degree. I miss jamming sessions. I miss the banter and craic. Living so far away is a bit of a deterrent for friends who do like to play.
Of course, if I could drive none of this would be a problem. But I can't. And though I plan to start it will be a long time before I have complete independence.
So, really, I'm not asking for much in life. Just a little patience 'til it all fits into place, which at times has felt like it never will. I have been unsure about the security of my job and though it's worked out well for me so far I don't like to count my eggs before they hatch.
So there we go. I am very much hoping that some day I'll have something funny to write about again. They do say that laughter is the best medicine.