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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Buttons For Dirt Bird

Yay! Dirt Bird's home for Christmas. She came round on Sunday evening for a coupla pear ciders and beers. We had pleasant chat and drank and were merry. She also came round last night (Tuesday night) for much of the same thing. We had pleasant chat, we drank and were merry ('tis Christmas after all). I reminded her last night that we had a really funny conversation on Sunday but I couldn't remember what it was. After a while Dirt Bird remembered. She said we were talking about me having to clone myself. I said that it would never do as I knew rightly that my clone would get to do all the good stuff while I was stuck with the crappy things. She'd be off galivanting in South America while I was stuck in Next saying Do you want a copy of the Directory? I'd have to kill her and then I would be done for murdering myself. No, it would never do.

So Dirt Bird says...damn I wish she was here now 'cos I've forgotten what she said but it was something along the lines of...yeah but you could make the clone so that it had a little button and when you pressed it you experienced what your clone was experiencing. Hmmm. Good idea. But, I suggested, wouldn't it be better to just make the clone so it was your slave and it had to do whatever you told it? Yeah, says Dirt Bird, and when it was naughty or misbehaving there would be a little button you could press so that it would self-destruct.

I think it's kinda sweet, her obsession with buttons. She said she'd be like Father Dougal Maguire when he was in the cock pit of a plane and he was told not to push the big red button. I might buy her a toy for Christmas. One with lots of buttons to press.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Would Aybody Drink Vodkat?

It's funny how things can lie around the house for so long that eventually you stop even noticing they're there. When we moved in our next door neighbour (the one who's not Irish) called round with a bottle of Vodkat. Someone had given it to him but neither he nor the wife drank the stuff so he was offering it to us. Never one to look a gift horse in the eye, Jamie accepted graciously. I was upstairs at the time so that's where Jamie brought it. Neither me or Jamie would lip the stuff either so I put it on top of the chest of drawers. Now 8 months later I am only just noticing it. It will probably stay there til we move out or we have a visit from an alcoholic. I'm sure even an alcoholic would turn their nose up at it and say do ye not have any buckfast?

Monday, December 11, 2006

I Wish I could Do This

On the way home from work tonight I bumped into the Two Rons' daughter who works in Eason's. Eason's is Jamie's favourite shop in the whole of Ballymena (which says a lot about Ballymena). He can stand in there for hours looking at all the different computer magazines on sale. It also sells cards, stationery, books, sweets, cigarettes and the lottery. It can be a pretty busy shop on a Saturday afternoon. The Two Rons' daughter was telling me that she was expecting to get the hoof because of what she did one day.

She was serving 2 girls who were so busy blabbing on about what they were going to wear to Kelly's that night that they didn't hear her say that's four pound thirty-six please. So these two girls were blabbing away and a queue was forming behind them and the Two Rons' daughter asked again louder. The girl fumbled in her purse, pulled out a twenty pound note and slammed it down on the counter. The Two Rons' daughter got the girl her change and slammed it back down on the counter. The wee girl being served looked at her and says cheeky bitch. The Two Rons' daughter said that before she knew what she was doing she'd rolled the girl's recipt up into a little ball and flicked it off her forehead.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

I'm Smokin

I'm Smokin
Originally uploaded by jazzthefunk.
There's a reason why Jamie's looking so pleased with himself...

He's got an audition with Urban Strawberry Lunch, a community organization who run workshops teaching kids to play junk instruments. He'd worked with them before in Stoke and they asked him to apply for the position about two months ago. The posiotion is for 4 months in Liverpool. His audition is on the 5th of December so good luck baby, don't be nervous.

Goodbye Bob

Jamie and I had adopted a pet fly. We called him Bob. We missed the company of cats and dogs so much that we needed a pet of own.

At first we didn't really like Bob. Jamie had tried capturing him several times with a glass and a sheet of paper. But he was too cunning for us. He grew very fond of me and Jamie and would follow us from the kitchen to the livingroom. At one point we thought he was following us to the bathroom and the bedroom but it turned out that was another fly. That one didn't stay with us for very long and he left one evening when me and Jamie were heading out the door. I thought it was Bob that had left but when we got back he was still there. That's when we realised we'd had two pet flies. Bob was always our favourite though.

Now it's been a week and I haven't seen Bob. I think he's died. He lived with us for about seven weeks I'm sure. I miss him. I miss saying hello to him. I miss him buzzing around the room. I miss watching Jamie try to capture him and being outwitted every time. Sometimes he was pesky but I wouldn't have had him any other way. Now we're petless once again. We're thinking of getting a spider because although we loved Bob we don't want any more flies in the house.