Site Meter

Monday, April 28, 2014

Some Postmen Are Not Awesome

From this:

To this:

Hooray for my new camera lense. I am slowly but surely ticking everything off the list that I needed to sort out. New sofa and bathroom lino - check, new flatmate - check, new lense - check, working tax credits - check, counselling course application - check. There's still the driving test and illustrations for Freddy and the Fox but, other than that I'm keeping on top of everything. Work's going well these days too. There's a woman that works the night shift and she calls me "wee smiley face". But why wouldn't I have a smiley face? I have these two wonderful girls to run through the fields with.

Oh, and they must have changed my postman and the new one is not so awesome. He posted a letter from the TV licensing people. I never wanted a TV and did very well without one for a year. The last flatmate brought with him a (I've just measured it) 41" TV and left it here because it was obviously too heavy for him to take with him when he moved out. It's horrendous. But I do watch it (less so since I got that letter). So, if anyone wants a ridiculously large TV with glass stand they are perfectly welcome to it.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Postmen Are Awesome

Today I got a letter to say that I am entitiled to working tax credits. I have probably been entitiled to them for years but never really knew about them. This is the way they want it. This means I can get Ziggy booked in for his ball chopping because it will be considerably cheaper. Of course, now that it's a reality I feel a bit sorry for him. He will know the vet has taken something away from him. He won't know why and he will probably blame me.

I took him to Granny Nelly's on Monday. I got a taxi out and as we drove into Cullybackey I saw Judy and Jess's GodParent's, the Mc Sprollies, driving in the opposite direction. Jess was stood with her two front paws on the dashboard, skellying out the window. I felt bad for Ziggy as he adores Judy and Jess and when they go out with Mc Sprollies they are often gone for a few hours. I took Ziggy a walk down the back lane, through the field and back up through the woods. He loved it. When we returned back at the yard Jess' sister's Pip and Tiegan were there with there owner. Hurrah, thought Ziggy, two fine young bitchers to play with, but no, for Pip and Tiegan are dirty devil scunging dogs and their owner must have one of them on a leash at all times otherwise they'd be off through the woods.

Shortly after, another of Jess' siblings turned up with his owner. Rex was much more fun for Ziggy and they spent a happy afternoon taking it in turns to hump each other. Rex's owner Swisser noticed some trees missing from the hen run. She asked Bert had he cut them down. He had. Swisser was not amused. Why had he cut down the lovely trees? Bert scrunched his face up. he knew there was a reason why but he just couldn't quite remember it. Bert's memory eludes him when under pressure. He says it lets more light in to the run. I explain to Swisser that the hens needed more vitamin D. Swisser would not be appeased. Pip and Tiegan's owner offers a very valid point about how it was a good thing to cut down the trees to enable more things to grow. Pippy pap, says Swisser. Mum tells her Pip and Tiegan's owner used to work in forest conservation and he is, in fact, quite knowledgable about such things. "I don't care" Swisser huffs.

I have just had a phonecall from mum to say that my camera lens has arrived. That's two good things the postman has brought me today. I don't know why dogs hate them so much. I think they're awesome.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Ziggy The Counsellor

During December, January and February I was depressed. No beating around the bush there. I was miserable. And not without reason too. During this same time Ziggy was a young,excitable pup. The combination didn't really work. Ziggy needed disciplined. I could barely muster the energy to discipline myself let alone a wild, unruly dog. When I did try to be stern with him he would sometimes look at me as much to say "Look ma, if you want me to do what I'm told you're gonna have to grow a set of balls! Say what you mean and mean what you say, isn't that what you're counselling tutor always tells you?" How on earth he knew what my tutor says is beyond me though I guess he could have been reading over my notes.

He was right though. Ziggy couldn't be disciplined by a meek and timid meercat. He needed a howling wolf to put him in his box. Having said that, I have grown more confident at disciplining him but this still doesn't make him a particularly obedient dog. It's the Lhasa Apso in him. They're determined, stubborn wee fuckers. The irony is, in order for Ziggy and I to have an harmonious relationship I will have to grow a set of balls while he will have to have his removed. Don't feel too sorry for him though because the flatmate was feeding him prawn crackers last night.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

The Big issue

In the early days of my blog I chatted about a fellow called Pirate John. He was a longstanding friend of Salt Face's and I'd only met him once before when he invited us up to stay with him in Manchester. Salt Face, knowing I was a fan of treasure hunts, texted Pirate John to tell him he had to set one up for us. Pirate John went above and beyond the call of duty and we were treated to a hunt round the city for our treasure.

We received the first clue by text message when we were on the train from Stoke. We got off the train and wandered around trying to figure the clue out. Pirate John must have known there was a possibility we would struggle and so he sent us a treasure hunt fairy in the form of Hank who passed us on the street yelling at us and pointing at a billboard. behind the billboard was our first envelope and inside was our second clue along with a compass. We then followed the clues and used the compass until we came to the final clue which said "What's the Big Issue". We looked around us and spotted a guy selling the Big Issue. When we asked him what the big issue was he smiled and told us he'd been waiting for us but he wouldn't tell us the clue unless we bought a copy of his magazine. Then he told us our treasure was waiting in the pub down the road. When we arrived Pirate John and Hank the treasure hunt fairy were waiting for us with pints of beer.

I love impromptu happenings. Like the time a walk along the canal ended up at a hippy party on a rare breeds farm with ostriches and llamas and the time we jumped on a random bus and jumped off when we saw a funfair and we thought we were going to die on the waltzer. I'm so glad we didn't die on the waltzer.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Sunshine and Moonshine I Salute You

This post is dedicated to the lovely girls V and B. Sunshine and Moonshine. V is Sunshine because she's fair and golden and she radiates warmth. B is Moonshine because she's dark and mysterious and illuminates beauty. In truth, they both radiate warmth and illuminate beauty but, for the purpose of my blog they are Sunshine and Moonshine. I have only known these girls for a few months and on Saturday I realised how much in common I have with both of them. Sunshine loves JGL and hates numbers. Moonshine loves photography and salutes people. They are both writers. They love climbing trees and animals. They are children of the universe and they inspire me.

They also came into my life at a crucial point because I was feeling so jaded and let down. They reminded me that my kindred spirits are out there, and not so very far away. They restored my faith in the belief that everything is happening for a reason and happening the way that it is meant to. Not that I believe my whole life is mapped out in front of me and I am powerless to change it but, like Paulo Coelho says, all the signs are there, we just have to know how to look out for them.

I feel a strength in myself I have only felt once before in life. That was this time last year. But the strength that I had was new to me. I was a fledgling. The year's experience has made me complete a cycle. A cycle of learning what I want from my life and having the wisdom to achieve it. I don't know what K gained from being in my life the short time he was in it but I learnt how to stay with myself. Because it's easy to lose yourself and get caught up in what other people think is best. K came into my life just as I was figuring myself out. His domineering personality tried to take me over but, little did I know, the groundwork I had already done was enough for me to stick to the path I was on. I felt broken and bruised the whole time we were together. Outside influences were trying to smite my life. I am free now.

But that was then and this is now and one bad person has walked out of my life to make room for many, many more worthy souls. Sunshine and Moonshine are just the beginning of this. My quest continues to find as many of these heavenly creatures as I can find, build an ark, and set sail for a better life.

Monday, April 14, 2014

'Tis The Season To Be Jolly.....

....fa la la la la-la, la-la la la la! After naming my last post "Ziggy The Good Boy" he had to let me down a bagful by huffing the other night when I went out. I had V and B round for pre pub (lic bar) drinks. The NF got home from work before we headed out and I skipped out the door without so much as a hint of guilt as Ziggy had company. I was informed on Sunday afternoon that Ziggy was not pleased by my departure and sulked behind the sofa and wouldn't let the NF console him. Aw well, he was good for a while.

Last week when I had the nieces over I kept asking the youngest did she need her nappy changed as it smelt suspiciously like she did. She told me she was just doing farts. I asked a couple of more times to be sure but every time she insisted she was just doing farts. It was time to take them home and I told Z about my suspicions and, lo and behold, my suspicions were correct. We were then informed that the particular kind of farts se had been doing were brown farts. A week or so later and their mummy had taken the girls out for a pleasant walk and some fresh air when she bumped into someone she sort of knew. At this precise moment in time the youngest was running around and squatting, pretending to do brown farts and the eldest was yelling "BROWN FARTS" repeatedly at the top of her voice. I think this just proves that toilet humour will never go out of fashion.

Tomorrow is my 32nd birthday. I have finally reached the age where celebration just doesn't seem important. I saw my unsurprising birthday party for my 30th as my last real hoo ha before I turn 50. I love parties but they take so much effort to organise. Impromptu gatherings are the way forward. I am looking forward to something though and that's my birthday present from my mum, which will be a lens for my DSLR. I can't wait to get trigger happy. Ziggy will be the most photographed dog in Ireland.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Ziggy The Good Boy

It's been a very productive couple of weeks. I've applied for the next stage of the counselling course and I know exactly where I want to go. There were times during the winter that I had really given up hope. There were also times when I knew I just had to wade through the mire and wait for the good times to roll. There were snatches of happiness when my dog filled my heart with joy just by watching him run through the grass and my nieces squeezed out smiles from me with kisses and hugs. And those things, along with the love and support of my wee mammy, helped me to wade through the mire. 'Cause otherwise I really would have given up. Last year just happened to me. I had no control over where my life was going. I hadn't learnt how to take control. They say everyone comes into your life for a reason and I believe that. I can get frustrated when I know there's a lesson to be learned and I don't know what it is. Then it's like a weight off my shoulders when I finally see it.

Oh I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. It's one of those pleasant sunny evenings and I would just love to crack open a few ciders, play guitar and wake up tomorrow with nothing to do but spend some money. It's pay day tomorrow and it'll be the first time in months that I can afford to spend it on doing nice things for myself. That's the whole reason why we work after all. Now that my finances are in order I am less stressed and more able to focus on the joys of life. The simple pleasures. Like getting my ipod filled with loads of bouncy songs for the summer. This whole time I thought that I didn't have a lead to charge my Nikon Coolpix but looking through my drawers with a clear head made me realise I had a lead to charge it on the laptop. It's been there this whole time but i haven't had the wit to see it.

We had a very pleasant night in the tree house. I forgot the marshmallows to toast on the fire but we were warm, drunk and happy. Judy and Jess seemed a bit unsettled, like they were suffering from altitude sickness. Ziggy, who is well used to living on the top level of a flat, lay in the sofa and slept like a baby. Ziigy has welcomed the new flatmate with open paws. That devil dog I had to contend with for several months has now settled into a fine beast of a dog. I always knew he'd come good. He is by no means perfect but he is a lot less rascally and he's learning what his boundaries are. He is obsessed with a baby calf that's been born at Nellybert's. It keeps him from scunging the roads I suppose.

Saturday, April 05, 2014


Peaks and troughs. That's what my life is like. Feast or famine. Too much time or too little. Lots of sunshine or complete darkness. And cycles. Bicycles and flycycles. A month ago I couldn't get enough hours at work. Now, everyday, I want to finsih early and it never happens. Since money isn't as big a worry I want to enjoy some of my free time.

Today I had two lovely girls over to help me make fifteens. I'd probably be a domestic goddess if I ever followed a recipe. I just look at it once and by the time I get round to cooking I have forgotten that I should be weighing and measuring things out. I also failed to take into consideration that if something goes wrong in the baking process I only have two small children to assist me. Between supervising the eldest while she cut up marshmallows and the youngest while she tried to lick marshmallows I fell into the trap of using too much condensed milk and, having four sticky hands covered in mixture and two very small clean hands of no use atall because they were preoccupied with marshmallows, I had to really ponder how I was going to rectify the situation. All was well, mostly because the fifteen's didn't have to be perfect it was more important to enjoy the company of my nieces.

What I didn't tell the girls was that there was another packet of marshmallows sneaked away. The Lovely Mel is home for a visit and we'll be lighting the stove in the tree house and toasting a few marshmallows tonight.