Saturday, November 08, 2014

Making A Real Pig's Ear Of It

I really am starting to be more honest with myself. For example, I tell myself I am a very patient person, and I suppose I am in a lot of ways, like I'm much more tolerant of people and they foibles than others and, even if I am feeling the stress of impatience I don't let it show. Today, in work, it was tough going. Soooo many people, so many trollies, so much ducking and diving and squeezing (at one point a lady pushed her trolley tight into the aisle so it wouldn't be in the way of others but she failed to notice that she had also pushed me tight into the aisle.) That wasn't when my patience ran out though. This was at the very end of my shift and I realised I'd lost my phone. Remember that new smart phone I got a while back? The one that tied me onto a contract for two years and I thought, what the hey? I have a dog I might as well have a phone contract! Well, we have an app on our phones that helps us to check if things are in stock and it's definitely made things a lot easier but when I lost my phone I was in despair. I would never have my phone on the shop floor if it wasn't for my manager encouraging everyone to use the app. I thought I was going to have to pay £12.50 for the next year and a half without the luxury of a nice phone. Of course I didn't have insurance. I laugh in the face of insurance. Then there was the fact that I didn't know anybody's number and I'd have to go to the phonebox to call mum and tell her the sad, sad news (I am laughing as I write this).

So I was miserable and feeling sorry for myself and a tear rolled down my cheek. Several people helped me look for it. My wee work mammy was away home early so someone else acted as my surrogate work mammy and marched me to the phone shop to cancel my contract. Then the word spread that my phone had been found! I was so relieved I thought it unimportant to dwell on the fact that I very nearly had a meltdown over the fact that I'd lost a stupid phone. But, why be hard on myself? Better just to learn the lesson and be happy that everything worked out ok.

It has to be said though, I can take no more today and Ziggy has decided he's going to be a pain in the ass. It's been so long since I had to send him to bed that he's pretending he doesn't know what it means anymore. I've bribed him with as a pig's ear which he's demolished already. Now I think I might have got him into some kind of Zen-like way of being.

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Clean Rotten

Anyone who knows me will know I'm a nemophilist. I put this down to being raised by hippies but it's also an innate part of me. Like I was an Ewok in a past life or something. For several years now I have been working towards a sophrosyne. I believe this can be achieved through balance and acceptance and, of course, my counselling course is helping me with that. I am a very feeling person and I get excited and passionate easily. I have been affected by not just my own erlebrusse but others'. Sometimes this leaves me koyaanisqatsi and I feel a real fernweh. I feel like I need to be on an adventure. But I hold onto a meliorism and sometimes I am so convinced of this that I am filled with vorfreude. There is the hope and possibility of magic. Anything could happen. I am reminded of my smultronstalle and life is strange and good and weird and fun. I am aware of the sillage of everyone I've ever met, the imprint it left on me. And sometimes,when I'm lucky, I experience a mamihlapinatapai.

One of my favourite websites is stumbleupon because you can learn so much from it. I found this list of unusual words and I decided I'd write a little paragraph using them. So if you need the dictionary here it is. I am completely fascinated by words and language. I always find it funny that we have several sayings here in Ballymena that could be confusing for others. For example, if something is dirty we say it is "clean stinking" or "pure rotten" and if something is amazing we say it is "deadly good" or "weak good".

I am convinced that there was a third part of this post but I've forgotten it. I'm too tired to try to retrieve it so I'll leave it there.

Monday, October 27, 2014

So There You Jolly Well Flippin' Well Blinkin' Well Go

My mind is a strange, strange place. F'rinstance, while walking Ziggy the other day I had a peculiar thought about different types of swearing and the effect it would have on young children. Children who are at an age where they know some things but not most things (though we are always at that age really). There's plain swearing like; shit, f**k, bastard, c**t (that's the order my ma likes to use). Then there's the more colourful style of swearing and this is where it might get confusing for kids. For example, 'Bloody Hell' might seem more tame than 'F**k's Sake' but imagine the visual image it can conjure up for a child. Firey pits of hell, with people screaming and blood EVERYWHERE. Some people like to say 'Holy F**k!' This is confusing and misleading to a child who knows that 'f**k' is a bad word but 'holy' is a good word. Of course, if a child is brought up without those religious connotations then swearing would just be swearing. Plain old swearing. Which I'm not condoning by the way.

Anyway, the thought that lead to those other thoughts was of my mum, who likes to say, 'So there you jolly' well, flippin' well, blinkin' well go' and it made me smile. And there ya go!

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Night In With Neighbours (Not The Twits)

There's that boy Fly again. Super handsome pooch. Ziggy wants to be just like him. As Ziggy grows older I see the dynamics changing. He still adores Judy and Jess but they grew tired of him long ago. Jess doesn't play with him so much. Luckily for Ziggy, Fly is always up for larking around. I have also noticed that Ziggy and Maya, my sister's dog, have become very fond of each other.

I know that Ziggy has grown up because I very rarely send him to bed these days. In fact, I would say that has something to do with the departure of Meka. I wonder if he is better behaved because he thinks in, his little doggy head, that I could very easily get rid of him. Maybe it's just coincidental. He still likes to bark at nothing sometimes but he's a good boy mostly. Older niece agrees with me and I never ask her if Ziggy was a good boy at Granny's anymore. I used to ask her this every Thursday and her answer was always "no" followed by the exact reason why he wasn't a good boy.

We do miss Meka. Ziggy was unsettled for a couple of nights when she went. It took me two weeks to finally take her cage down and give it to Jakers. That was part laziness and part holding on to her and, if I'm totally honest, I'd say it was 70% laziness 30% holding on. I did toy with the idea of getting a couple of baby rats because I thought that they would probably be even closer to Ziggy and sleep curled up in his fur. Then I went to the pet shop and saw two adults who needed to be adopted because nobody wanted them and I thought if I was going to get more rats I'd be better to take the ones nobody wanted. And then I told myself to wise up I had enough to contend with looking after Ziggy.

It's Saturday night again. I have no plans as yet but the night is young. The night is young though I am old. Or at least my body is old and I was partying last Saturday and Wednesday night so if I spend an evening watching old episodes of Neighbours I'll be content.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

A Post About Nothing

Well, life is interesting at the minute! I'm busy but not so busy that I don't have time to bless myself. I just don't have much to write about. The interesting stuff is top secret and requires more information than I care to share but things are, once again, making a lot of sense. I have always believed myself to an ok communicator but there is always room for improvement and I have had quite a lot of conversations recently that have made me realise that I am progressing. I have reconnected with some important people.

I still feel very overwhelmed at times. Just because I am who I am and I do care so much about everyone and everything.

I guess that's why I don't have much to write about, because I'm having all these conversations with different people and I really feel like I'm getting somewhere. There's a lot of laughter and hope. There's a lot of honesty and that's the thing that makes me smile. People are talking to me from their hearts and that's all I've ever wanted.

And music and dance are just as good as writing and words.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Super Pooch

This week has been productive. I got Ziggy's dog licence renewed (that means it's been a year since the Twits complained about Ziggy's early morning barking), oil to heat the house, issues in work sorted and I even had time to squeeze in a coffee date. I also caught up with Gus and we worked on the blues song, which has yet to be named. The course is going great and I've handed in my first bit of homework. I am very much the same kind of student I was 10 years ago, and that is the kind that leaves everything to the last minute. That's ok though because I procrastinate in style and I'm continously doing "research".

Last week went by in a flurry of annoyances at work and catching up with family. I had some class mates round for drinks on Wednesday night and I had pizza and cider with some work mates on Saturday night. When you're young you just have mates. When you get to a certain age you start to define your mates by how you know them. I still long for the day when I can write..."on Tuesday I went to the forest and climbed trees with my soul mates." It'll happen, I know it will.

Ziggy is officially no longer a devil dog. He is a super pooch. He has learned to relax more and he has realised it's nice to cuddle beside me. Our bond grows stronger every day and I no longer feel guilty for leaving the house without him. He is much more accepting than I ever gave him credit for. Also, the flatmate keeps him company a lot of the time. He has become the dog I dreamed of and, despite this, I found myself looking at him the other night and mourning his puppyhood. We humans are very strange indeed.

Thursday, October 09, 2014

Whisky Dog Blues

Although I haven't been doing much blogging lately I've been keeping busy with music and a bit of photography. Oh, and my course, which is a vast change from last year which was 3 hours every week. I now wake up for work every Monday, start at 6 in the morning, work until 12:30 and then go to class which is from 1-9. It's a long day but I enjoy it. Gus and I wrote a blues song on Sunday. The first line is "I should have drank more whisky last night, so I wouldn't drink so much today"

I don't know what these flowers are but they were growing on amongst my sister's vegetables

This handsome boy is Fly. Ziggy adores him.

This is Willowherb. I thought it looked nice and fluffy.

Ziggy peers off into the horizon keeping his eyes peeled for The Enemy.