Wednesday, October 22, 2014

A Post About Nothing

Well, life is interesting at the minute! I'm busy but not so busy that I don't have time to bless myself. I just don't have much to write about. The interesting stuff is top secret and requires more information than I care to share but things are, once again, making a lot of sense. I have always believed myself to an ok communicator but there is always room for improvement and I have had quite a lot of conversations recently that have made me realise that I am progressing. I have reconnected with some important people.

I still feel very overwhelmed at times. Just because I am who I am and I do care so much about everyone and everything.

I guess that's why I don't have much to write about, because I'm having all these conversations with different people and I really feel like I'm getting somewhere. There's a lot of laughter and hope. There's a lot of honesty and that's the thing that makes me smile. People are talking to me from their hearts and that's all I've ever wanted.

And music and dance are just as good as writing and words.



Thursday, October 16, 2014

Super Pooch

This week has been productive. I got Ziggy's dog licence renewed (that means it's been a year since the Twits complained about Ziggy's early morning barking), oil to heat the house, issues in work sorted and I even had time to squeeze in a coffee date. I also caught up with Gus and we worked on the blues song, which has yet to be named. The course is going great and I've handed in my first bit of homework. I am very much the same kind of student I was 10 years ago, and that is the kind that leaves everything to the last minute. That's ok though because I procrastinate in style and I'm continously doing "research".

Last week went by in a flurry of annoyances at work and catching up with family. I had some class mates round for drinks on Wednesday night and I had pizza and cider with some work mates on Saturday night. When you're young you just have mates. When you get to a certain age you start to define your mates by how you know them. I still long for the day when I can write..."on Tuesday I went to the forest and climbed trees with my soul mates." It'll happen, I know it will.

Ziggy is officially no longer a devil dog. He is a super pooch. He has learned to relax more and he has realised it's nice to cuddle beside me. Our bond grows stronger every day and I no longer feel guilty for leaving the house without him. He is much more accepting than I ever gave him credit for. Also, the flatmate keeps him company a lot of the time. He has become the dog I dreamed of and, despite this, I found myself looking at him the other night and mourning his puppyhood. We humans are very strange indeed.

Thursday, October 09, 2014

Whisky Dog Blues

Although I haven't been doing much blogging lately I've been keeping busy with music and a bit of photography. Oh, and my course, which is a vast change from last year which was 3 hours every week. I now wake up for work every Monday, start at 6 in the morning, work until 12:30 and then go to class which is from 1-9. It's a long day but I enjoy it. Gus and I wrote a blues song on Sunday. The first line is "I should have drank more whisky last night, so I wouldn't drink so much today"

I don't know what these flowers are but they were growing on amongst my sister's vegetables

This handsome boy is Fly. Ziggy adores him.

This is Willowherb. I thought it looked nice and fluffy.

Ziggy peers off into the horizon keeping his eyes peeled for The Enemy.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Meka Moo


For the first time in 4 years the rat cage lies empty. Meka was the last. My little champion and warrior. I had her put down yesterday because she was growing lumps everywhere and it was only a matter of time before the cancer would have caused her suffering. The reason she is my little warrior is because she survived several things in her short life. She survived major surgery when she had a lump on her chest. She also survived the death of her sister Polly. Rocky had to cope with the loss of his sister, Pepe, but he was never the same rat after and he died a year later. Meka, on the other hand, missed the company of her sister but continued to take pleasure out of life. It wasn't too long before Ziggy came along to keep Meka company and she accepted him just like he was a giant rat. She let him into her cage, she groomed him, she tolerated his rough playfulness. In the earlier days she would get up on her hind legs and look him square in the eye. Ziggy always backed down.

She was the sweetest little rat. When we first got her she was nervous and stuck close to Rocky. Her sister Polly was always the brave one, adventuring and escaping. But Meka was curious, and always much more active than Polly. After she had her surgery Meka became much braver and more interested in humans, not just me. My bond with her grew then because I sensed that she knew I had done a good thing for her by getting the lump removed and she seemed to trust humans in general. It such a nice feeling when a small animal places their trust in you. Meka, as a youngster, was super cute and she liked to crawl around my head and neck and sniff in my ears and up my nose. She also liked to play with my wet hair after I'd had a shower. She was a greedy minx and when food was put into the bowl she would grab all the best bits and hoard it at the bottom of the cage. She continued this habit even when she didn't have other rats to contend with.

So here's to Meka, and Pepe, Rocky and Polly too. I hope some day to have rats again but, for now, I'd like to save a space in my heart in case a stray dog happens to stumble on my path :)

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Every Little T'ing's Gonna Be Alriiight

I was off work on Thursday so I had a lazy morning with Ziggy on the sofa. Then we went for our walk. It was a beautiful, hazy sunny day and Ziggy and I were both in fine form. I then went up the town to get stationary and folders for my course starting on Monday. It had been ages since I'd been up the town. It had been ages since I spent any money. I came back home and N called round and we took Ziggy to Portglenone forest. I wanted to find a log to sit on so we followed a pixie trail that led us to the perfect log. We sat for a while, chatting and enjoying the serenity of the forest.

Later that evening I went out for hot chocolate and ice cream with a few girls from work. They are all at least 7 years younger than me but I didn't really notice until they started talking about all the hot actors they fancied and as they showed me pictures of these dudes on their phones I realised that I had never heard tell of them. Also, they weren't that hot. But I am always complaining that I don't get to hang out with girls enough so it was nice to do something with them.

On Friday, after work, I went for a session of reiki. I paid £20 for an hour of bliss. It really was so relaxing. I lay down on the bed and he placed crystals on the 7 points of my body that represented the 7 chakras. Then he placed his hands on the crown of my head. I have always liked being touched on the head but when he placed his hands on me I felt like I was being cocooned in the most comforting way imaginable. He then alternated placing his hands between my head and shoulders. At one point I became aware that I wanted him to place his hands on my forehead and, without saying anything, he did. I also felt that I needed the sides of my face, my ears and cheeks, to be touched and again, he instinctively knew to place his hands there. He worked down through the body and when he touched my feet it also felt strangley comforting and relaxing and I also noticed the heat of his hands more. But, without a doubt, my head seemed to benefit the most from it.

Afterwards he was able to tell me the things he picked up on. He too had noticed that there was a lot of healing taking place around my head. He could sesne that I was a deep thinker and my mind was like a washing machine. He asked me if I had any trouble with my ears. I mentioned in a blog post a while ago that I had bought ear drops. They helped for a bit but I had ongoing problems with my ear and had been to the doctor's three times. The last doctor noticed a perforation on my ear drum (probably caused by myself when I was poking cotton buds into it). I am currently on the waiting list to see a specialist. The reiki man said, however, that even though he felt it a lot around my ears he beleived that it was actually my sinuses that was causing the difficulty. I have always been prone to sinus infections and every time I take a cold that's where I feel it most.

He then went on to tell me that he felt a lot around my stomach and he asked me if I was a fussy eater. He said that this part of the body also represents confidence issues and he believed that I struggled with being sure of myself. This is true, even after I had made a conscious decision to work on my confidence it is still an issue I battle with. He said he also felt a lot of healing around my feet, in particular my left ankle. I told him that I sprained my ankle twice when I was younger but I couldn't remember if it was the left or the right foot. I have been trying to visualise my First Holy Communion pictures as that was one of the times I had sprained my ankle. It won't be hard to find out if he was right. And I think he is.

So my overall verdict is that it was deeply relaxing, soothing and insightful. I would reccommend it to anyone but I do believe that people will get varying results. For me, it was something that I was ready to embrace. I felt open to the healing that was being offered and I also felt very comfortable with the guy that was performing it. I had met him once before in different circumstances and I had sensed a nice vibe from him then as well. I felt throughout the session that we were in tune with each other and that helped me to get the most out if it that I possibly could. The main feeling I got was one of protection. As soon as his hands touched my head I felt safe. I will be seeing him again, for sure.

Today I am headed for unknown territory. An adventure, if you will. Gus resides in a far off land and we're jamming there for a change. I do believe that it is in the wilds of the countryside and there is a forest and feral cats for Ziggy to play with. I'm bringing my camera, my geetar and a head full of zen and humour. That's all you need sure.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Maybe Tomorrow....

My youngest niece and I like to have indepth conversations in a made up language. She is very good at it and makes all the right facial expressions even though she is saying "Agombi kyian shupapa fallella". And then I nod my head and say "Fee fee, caranya asloo borodia sleven". It ocurrs to me that these converstaions are just as meaningful, if not more, than a lot of the converstaions I have with adults. I am coming to the conclusion that we are all just talking gibberish.

Sometimes we have to take a long hard look at ourselves to realise why we have come to a certain point in life. I have known for a long time that I am the sort of person that cares deeply about things. Things matter to me. A lot. I get so excited and hopeful and full of promise. And, when things don't go to to plan the disappointment I feel can knock the wind out of me. I was wondering why I'm like this. I came to the conclusion it's because I haven't actually grown up yet. I get excited about life like a child gets excited about going to the park. When something doesn't work out for me I feel the same sadness that my 4 year old niece feels when we leave the house without remembering her all important box of fairies that is actually really a pencil sharpener. I don't experience these emotions over the trivial things but, when something matters to me I pour all my heart and soul into it. The more I invest of myself the more disappointed I feel. And that's the problem. I can't invest less. I just can't do it. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

So is it time to grow up? Will I fare better in a world that favours adults? Shall I start building a wall up around myself and taking all my advice from the sage of cynicsm? Shall I take this crown of naievity from my head and put on the crown of judgement? I'm not so sure. Think I might just bide my time and see where this playful, childlike way of being might take me. I'm not ready to join the adults yet. Maybe tomorrow I'll wanna settle down.

Friday, September 05, 2014

Spider Bites

It's a wonder I managed to get anywhere in the world with my lack of organisational skills. Then again, there's something about 'winging it' that makes the whole experience unique. I was reminded today of my sister's wedding in Norfolk. I had been to Madrid with Jakers. It was his first holiday and we had a wonderful time. We flew out together from Dublin although we nearly missed our flight. I'll never forget the look on Jakers' face when he said "Does this mean we're not going on holiday?" But we made it just in time and to calm our nerves we decided to have a drink on the plane. I suggested whiskey (of course) and Jakers looked at the picture in the menu and said "I dunno. I dunno if I fancy powdered whiskey." Yes, the whiskey did come in sachets but we were on a plane, not a spaceship, and the whiskey was not powdered.

I had booked our room in a hostel and given some random time of arrival. When we got there we were fours hours late and the hostel owner, who looked like a member from ZZ Top, told us he had given our room to someone else but we could stay in a shared room for a couple of days and have the private room for the last few days. We made a deal with ZZ Top and shared a room with several people. It just meant that we appreciated our own room when we finally got it.

Jakers and I flew back separately. He went back to Ireland and I flew to London to meet Dirt Bird so we could travel to Norfolk together. I was meant to arrange accomodation for us with one of my two aunts but I left everything to the last minute when I was in Madrid and everything fell to an arse so Dirt Bird's friend, a roadie, said he could put us up for the night. I met Dirt Bird and we met the roadie and he told us that it was his sister's house he had been offering up to us and shit had hit the fan and it was no longer an option but we could stay the night at this recording studio. So we did. When we got there we went to 'the bar'. There were a few others but they soon left. The barman was a black guy who appeared to speak in riddles most of the night but who also made a lot of sense. Needless to say Dirt Bird and I were not wise and drank the night away. The drunker I got the more the barman made sense. When the sun came up we went up to the roof and then we went out for breakfast. This is what happens when accomodation is left up to me.

A spider crawled around the floor this morning. This time last year I would have been feared but I am trying to overcome my disliking of spiders. It's not rational when I can let a wasp climb through my hair and feed it sugar and water but freak out when I see a spider. The flatmate and I both noticed Ziggy licking at his hind leg today and he didn't want to put any weight on it. I couldn't see any obvious cuts and he didn't yelp when I investigated him. Then I saw him sniff at something on the floor that made him flinch. It was the spider, dead. I think Ziggy might have been bitten by the spider. It's still annoying him and he won't walk on it properly but it's clearly more discomfort rather than pain that he's feeling. He has been eating bits of sausages so I assmue he's otherwise ok.