Thursday, April 17, 2014

Sunshine and Moonshine I Salute You

This post is dedicated to the lovely girls V and B. Sunshine and Moonshine. V is Sunshine because she's fair and golden and she radiates warmth. B is Moonshine because she's dark and mysterious and illuminates beauty. In truth, they both radiate warmth and illuminate beauty but, for the purpose of my blog they are Sunshine and Moonshine. I have only known these girls for a few months and on Saturday I realised how much in common I have with both of them. Sunshine loves JGL and hates numbers. Moonshine loves photography and salutes people. They are both writers. They love climbing trees and animals. They are children of the universe and they inspire me.

They also came into my life at a crucial point because I was feeling so jaded and let down. They reminded me that my kindred spirits are out there, and not so very far away. They restored my faith in the belief that everything is happening for a reason and happening the way that it is meant to. Not that I believe my whole life is mapped out in front of me and I am powerless to change it but, like Paulo Coelho says, all the signs are there, we just have to know how to look out for them.

I feel a strength in myself I have only felt once before in life. That was this time last year. But the strength that I had was new to me. I was a fledgling. The year's experience has made me complete a cycle. A cycle of learning what I want from my life and having the wisdom to achieve it. I don't know what K gained from being in my life the short time he was in it but I learnt how to stay with myself. Because it's easy to lose yourself and get caught up in what other people think is best. K came into my life just as I was figuring myself out. His domineering personality tried to take me over but, little did I know, the groundwork I had already done was enough for me to stick to the path I was on. I felt broken and bruised the whole time we were together. Outside influences were trying to smite my life. I am free now.

But that was then and this is now and one bad person has walked out of my life to make room for many, many more worthy souls. Sunshine and Moonshine are just the beginning of this. My quest continues to find as many of these heavenly creatures as I can find, build an ark, and set sail for a better life.

Monday, April 14, 2014

'Tis The Season To Be Jolly.....

....fa la la la la-la, la-la la la la! After naming my last post "Ziggy The Good Boy" he had to let me down a bagful by huffing the other night when I went out. I had V and B round for pre pub (lic bar) drinks. The NF got home from work before we headed out and I skipped out the door without so much as a hint of guilt as Ziggy had company. I was informed on Sunday afternoon that Ziggy was not pleased by my departure and sulked behind the sofa and wouldn't let the NF console him. Aw well, he was good for a while.

Last week when I had the nieces over I kept asking the youngest did she need her nappy changed as it smelt suspiciously like she did. She told me she was just doing farts. I asked a couple of more times to be sure but every time she insisted she was just doing farts. It was time to take them home and I told Z about my suspicions and, lo and behold, my suspicions were correct. We were then informed that the particular kind of farts se had been doing were brown farts. A week or so later and their mummy had taken the girls out for a pleasant walk and some fresh air when she bumped into someone she sort of knew. At this precise moment in time the youngest was running around and squatting, pretending to do brown farts and the eldest was yelling "BROWN FARTS" repeatedly at the top of her voice. I think this just proves that toilet humour will never go out of fashion.

Tomorrow is my 32nd birthday. I have finally reached the age where celebration just doesn't seem important. I saw my unsurprising birthday party for my 30th as my last real hoo ha before I turn 50. I love parties but they take so much effort to organise. Impromptu gatherings are the way forward. I am looking forward to something though and that's my birthday present from my mum, which will be a lens for my DSLR. I can't wait to get trigger happy. Ziggy will be the most photographed dog in Ireland.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Ziggy The Good Boy

It's been a very productive couple of weeks. I've applied for the next stage of the counselling course and I know exactly where I want to go. There were times during the winter that I had really given up hope. There were also times when I knew I just had to wade through the mire and wait for the good times to roll. There were snatches of happiness when my dog filled my heart with joy just by watching him run through the grass and my nieces squeezed out smiles from me with kisses and hugs. And those things, along with the love and support of my wee mammy, helped me to wade through the mire. 'Cause otherwise I really would have given up. Last year just happened to me. I had no control over where my life was going. I hadn't learnt how to take control. They say everyone comes into your life for a reason and I believe that. I can get frustrated when I know there's a lesson to be learned and I don't know what it is. Then it's like a weight off my shoulders when I finally see it.

Oh I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. It's one of those pleasant sunny evenings and I would just love to crack open a few ciders, play guitar and wake up tomorrow with nothing to do but spend some money. It's pay day tomorrow and it'll be the first time in months that I can afford to spend it on doing nice things for myself. That's the whole reason why we work after all. Now that my finances are in order I am less stressed and more able to focus on the joys of life. The simple pleasures. Like getting my ipod filled with loads of bouncy songs for the summer. This whole time I thought that I didn't have a lead to charge my Nikon Coolpix but looking through my drawers with a clear head made me realise I had a lead to charge it on the laptop. It's been there this whole time but i haven't had the wit to see it.

We had a very pleasant night in the tree house. I forgot the marshmallows to toast on the fire but we were warm, drunk and happy. Judy and Jess seemed a bit unsettled, like they were suffering from altitude sickness. Ziggy, who is well used to living on the top level of a flat, lay in the sofa and slept like a baby. Ziigy has welcomed the new flatmate with open paws. That devil dog I had to contend with for several months has now settled into a fine beast of a dog. I always knew he'd come good. He is by no means perfect but he is a lot less rascally and he's learning what his boundaries are. He is obsessed with a baby calf that's been born at Nellybert's. It keeps him from scunging the roads I suppose.

Saturday, April 05, 2014


Peaks and troughs. That's what my life is like. Feast or famine. Too much time or too little. Lots of sunshine or complete darkness. And cycles. Bicycles and flycycles. A month ago I couldn't get enough hours at work. Now, everyday, I want to finsih early and it never happens. Since money isn't as big a worry I want to enjoy some of my free time.

Today I had two lovely girls over to help me make fifteens. I'd probably be a domestic goddess if I ever followed a recipe. I just look at it once and by the time I get round to cooking I have forgotten that I should be weighing and measuring things out. I also failed to take into consideration that if something goes wrong in the baking process I only have two small children to assist me. Between supervising the eldest while she cut up marshmallows and the youngest while she tried to lick marshmallows I fell into the trap of using too much condensed milk and, having four sticky hands covered in mixture and two very small clean hands of no use atall because they were preoccupied with marshmallows, I had to really ponder how I was going to rectify the situation. All was well, mostly because the fifteen's didn't have to be perfect it was more important to enjoy the company of my nieces.

What I didn't tell the girls was that there was another packet of marshmallows sneaked away. The Lovely Mel is home for a visit and we'll be lighting the stove in the tree house and toasting a few marshmallows tonight.

Saturday, March 29, 2014


The Mighty Boosh is one them comedy shows that takes a while to grow on you but once it does you're sucked in. It's silly. Very silly, which is why I like it. I've chosen to share this song because I'm out of isolation now. I wasn't contagious, just hibernating through winter.

I've been seeing folk aplenty and it's great. Jakers the Joker came round last Wednesday night. I fed him and he gave me cider. It was mutually beneficial. On Saturday night I went out for drinks with the NF (new flatmate). I left Ziggy at home and only suffered mild separation anxiety. I caught up with a lot of mates I hadn't seen since the last time I was out (which was February so I'm not quite the hermit I thought I was) and Ziggy had managed not to destroy anything in my absence. On Tuesday I met up with MM for coffee and felt all the better for seeing him. On Tuesday night I went to a wrok mate's wedding party. On Wednesday night N came round and I chatted the hind legs off him and, last night, I had a visit from V and B who are are cool chicks who share my enthusiasm for adventures and treasure hunts, and trees.

So it's been a busy week of both work and play. Just the way I like it to be, despite work being very annoying. I have worked in shops for a number of years now and I've grown sick of parents using me as a way to make their children behave. They say things like, "If you don't be good that lady will tell the police". I don't like to be used as an accessory in their attempts to control their children. It's only a minor irritation though. One day I will say, "Don't worry, I won't tell the police. Children are allowed to have fun in shops"

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Oh (No) Balls

I learned that going to a supermarket passes as a school trip these days. It's called "From Farm To Fork". I imagine they take them to a farm to show them the animals, eggs, milk, wheat, corn, etc and then they take them to the supermarket to see the food being sold. They probably leave out the visit to the abottoir where the animals get slaughtered and the visit to the factories where they process the food so much they have a cheek to actually call it food. Which is a shame, if you ask me, 'cause that's where the real education lies.

Last week I came home from my course to learn that Ziggy had visited my sister in work. I was a little perplexed as to how he managed this considering he'd been four miles away from Z's workplace. At first I thought he'd walked it. And I guess I might have been guilty of thinking that he, somehow, magically knew where Z worked and had purposely gone to visit her. I know he's clever but I think that was a stretch too far. No, he'd taken a dander down the busy road and some kind person picked him up and took him to the dog warden. I have the Twits next door to thank for putting in that noise complaint about him and prompting me to get him micro-chipped and licenced. The dog warden put two and two together and let my sister know that Ziggy was there. Apparently he could have been re-homed 10 times over. Not if they knew the rascality that lay behind that fluffy face. My poor mum was frantic with worry but he'd never strayed before so it was unexpected.

He's cost himself his balls though. Getting him neutred should, hopefully, put the scunging out of him. We've lost enough beloved pets on that busy road. We have an extensive pet cemetry. And a tree house. And a back lane that leads to woods. I am starting to get one of my fanciful notions. Nellybert's would make a perfect set for a horror movie, or a haunted house tour. The real thrill of the night, of course, would be getting a peek up into the attic to catch a glimpse of the dreaded Squashy Face Tomato Man.

Monday, March 24, 2014

The Twits, My Bin And The Coal Shed

About a month ago I realised my bin was missing. When my bin goes missing, or gets moved to strange places, I quite often suspect it has something to do with the Twits who live next door. They are well into their 60's yet they partake in childish antics like leaving empty coke cans and milk containers on the door step. Their feud with me started not long after K moved in and ended, coincidentally, when he left. But I still suspected they had something to do with my missing bin and so I peered over the wall into their backyard. They had two bins and one of them did, in fact, have my number on it. I knew it wasn't my bin though as it was only half the size although I did think it gave me an excuse to knock on their door and quiz them about the whereabouts of my bin. I could see Mr. Twit sitting in his living room watching tv.

Despite knocking on the door and ringing the doorbell I received no answer. I returned to the back of the house and looked over the wall again. I was in luck, Mrs. Twit was sweeping out the coal shed. I shouted out to her,

Hello Mrs. Twit

She shuffled behind the open door of the coal shed. I tried again.

Excuse Mrs. Twit, I was just wondering about my bin

Still no answer. I laughed out loud

Mrs. Twit I know you're there, I can see you

But still she refused to crawl out from behind the coal shed door. I sighed. I waited another few seconds. I hit jackpot. Mr. Twit was on his way out to the backyard, unaware of me sitting on the wall, and shouted out something to Mrs. Twit, who was still hiding and probably would have stayed hiding until dusk. I asked him if he knew anything about my missing bin and I asked him why he had a bin with my door number on it.

Well let me tell you....

And he proceeded to tell me that if he so happened to want to leave two bins, on occasion, the bin men would refuse to lift two bins with the same number. He then went on to tell me that my missing bin had something to do with the foreigners and that they'd been burning bins out down alleyway. He'd, of course, seen this with his own eyes. By this stage Mrs Twit had come out of hiding and continued to sweep the coal shed. Mr. Twit told me it was all to do with...well, then he done this strange gesture with his fingers and his arm and I said,

What? Drugs?

Ssssshhh! Exactly.....great weather we're having

So what was I to do about my missing bin? Take another one Mr. Twit said. He said it was a regular occurrence. So I took someone elses bin and have been feeling guilty ever since.