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Monday, January 01, 2018

Here We Go Again

So it's the start of a brand new year and I wonder why these things are so significant to us humans. Beginnings...endings. On paper, 2017 was a great year for me. But it was succestressful, meaning that, for every box ticked a little piece of my sanity was chipped away. I didn't blog for a long time. Generally that means that my words are directed somewhere else. For some other purpose.! The complexities of life never fail to amaze me. The abundance of unresolved stuff that we forever wade through. This time of year has a particular quality to the air...that of lonliness and disappointment. My eldest niece M has already pondered the concept that the idea of Christmas is better than actual Christmas. It's the excitement of possibilities and, when all the presents are open, the possibilities are no longer endless. With this realisation comes a certain ennui.

Sometimes I find it hard to express the hope in my writing. My words are often melancholic but...let me just share where my joy has been found this Christmas...

Boxing day with my two best nieces brimming over with festive mum and sister sitting in the kitchen. My nieces painting Dirt Bird's face like a clown and us 'adults' taking it in turns to be scary monsters and chasing the girls. Apparently my efforts were weak. At one point I was in "training" for scary monster duties but when I asked M how I did she said "Yeah, you did better. You're back in". E told Mel Monster, "When you catch me don't tickle me, just cuddle me." And it was all very lovely.

The focus for 2018 is to take time off work and see a little of the world. Let the world see me. I worked hard over the last few years and I will continue to work hard but I need adventures. I need my soul shook up and my eyes widened. I need to create some more memories and meet some more fantastic people whilst not forgetting to nurture my existing relationships. Basically, 2018 is the year in which I put into practice everything I have learned so far.

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