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Friday, November 28, 2008

How Much Is In A Litre?

It seems I have unwittingly gone into blogger hibernation. This is because it's cold and when I think of something to write about it it's too hard because my braincells are frozen and need thawed out.

This is my third week at the new job. It's ok. It's just as you'd expect a shop to be at Christmas time. Full of crazed shopping lunatics looking for pointless gifts to bestow on loved ones.

Fish Face Freddy is settling in well at Nellybert's. I have never known a cat to purr so much, want cuddled and look up lovingly at it's humans. It's young though. There's still time for it to learn it is a cat. Even old Pearlie Blue is besotted. Of course she would never admit this but you can see it in her eyes when she's feeding it bits of dry bread.

Holly De Cat is still somewhat wary of de kitten but she is dealing with her issues by overeating. She is one solid cat. Baby elephants weigh less.

Possibly one of the dumbest things I have ever asked anybody happened last weekend. After finishing work on Friday I raced to the off licence to purchase some fine Irish whiskey. I just wanted a small bottle but all they had was a ten glass and a litre bottle. I was trying to work out in my head if it was better value buying the litre bottle rather than the ten glass bottle but I am easily confused by matters involving numbers and so I asked the shop assistant how much was in a litre a bottle. As the words came out of my mouth I was already shaking my head at the stupidity and I was met with the answer: Uh....a litre. At this point I thought it was probably best to buy the litre bottle and unthaw some of those frozen braincells.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Fish Face Freddy

On April Fool's Day 1957 Panorama aired a spoof documentary claiming that spaghetti grew on trees. Click here if you want to see the broadcast. I've never been any good at playing pranks on people but Brad and Keara, two of the teachers I met in Thailand, had an ongoing feud with each other. I can't remember most of them but one of my favorites was Brad teaching Keara to say in Thai: That was delicious. What he'd actually taught her to say was: I have diarrhoea. Brad was devious in this way. So was Keara.

There's been a new edition to the Dreen pet clan. A little ginger tom kitten. Mum found him on the side of the road. He's pretty much the total opposite of Holly, who hates it by the way. Loathes it. We're calling him Fred. I liked the idea of Brucey but he suits Fred too. He's pretty damn cute but pesky all the same. Much more friendly and affectionate than Holly cat. This house had room for another pet though. He is only little after all.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Buisness Plan That Could Take Off

Well, it seems there is an opening in the market for hot air balloonists in the Northern Ireland region. I was trying to find a company that operated hot air balloon rides round these parts but could ony find one and they were uncontactable through the WWW. Now I don't know about everyone else but if I can't find out such things as prices, destinations and times of certain events without having to call anyone it kinda puts me off. I like information to be accessible through the touch of a button rather than having to speak to someone. I have been spoilt with online everything (except online banking, never got through the registration process due to forgetting my password, repeatedly) and if I can't do it online, I'm not interested. Of course I am exaggerating ever so slighly.

So I wanted to book a hot air balloon ride as a present for Nellybert and although there are many companies that offer them, none do flights around Norn Iron. Perhaps there just ain't a big enough market for them here but it's one of them things that could catch on. Maybe the weather isn't hot air balloon flying friendly but are England and Scotland really that much better?

It got me thinking though. About the price of a hot air balloon and the vast amounts of money to be made and fun to be had. So I set about trying to find a 'hot air balloon for sale' website. It seems the whole buisness is quite elusive. Although I found sites advertising balloons many of them said they had no balloons for sale at that time. Is there a hot air balloon shortage? There must be.

If anyone knows anyone with a hot air balloon for sale let me know. And if anyone knows anyone with a skill for web design let me know. And if anyone knows anyone with a good head for buisness, let me know. We can join forces and together have the best hot air ballooning buisness EVER.

I apologise for the seriously baaaad puntastic title of this post. I'm away to scrub the shame from my face.

Same Same But Different

First day of a job is always the worst but because I knew what to expect it wasn't so bad. The thing that struck me the most was how glad I was to not be sitting on my arse all day. Office work just isn't for me. The other girls that work there are really pleasant and chatty and the environment is reasnably relaxed. My boss told me: You know everything you learnt in Next, forget it.

Shop work is same same but different. Essentially the work is the same but how you do it is different. Anyway, as much as I'd like to go into the details of how working in shops can differ (AYE RIGHT!) I will refrain from the boredom and instead leave you with a wee story about second hand shopping in Ballymena.

None of us like to think too much about the history of a garment bought from a charity shop. Did somebody die wearing this coat? Was the person a clean person? These are questions best not asked. Many years ago Granny bought a little red cardigan from a charity shop in Ballymena for a babby Katkins. She proudly showed it off to mum saying: Look what I got Katkins from the charity shop, isn't it lovely?

To which mum replied: Ach Mammy that already belonged to Katkins and I'd just handed it in to the charity shop!

Monday, November 10, 2008

How The Zoo Changed My Life

On Saturday Jakers and I went to Belfast zoo. I wanted to do something on my last weekend of freedom and Jakers thought the zoo was a good idea. It was!! Few things make me happier than animals. I just wish the animals were as pleased to see me as I was to see them. We hadn't really planned the whole thing too well and didn't see as much as we wanted to but it was still a great day out.

On the way there Jakers lost a tenner but on the way back we got 2 children fares from Glengormley to Antrim (yes, the bus driver thought we were 14) and we got a free train from Antrim to Ballymena. My favourite thing at the Zoo was the lions. Jakes liked the spectacled bears. I'd forgottten how good the giraffes were to see but the Meerkats were tucked up in bed.

Somewhere over the course of the weekend I decided to regain a bit of direction back in my life. Or at least think about it anyway. When I get the travelling bug out of my system (if I ever do) I'd like to train as a Social Worker. There is no point in me going from one dead-end job to the next. I managed to forget how much sociology interested me and I think it's about time that I put some of what I learnt into practice. I know Social Work is not easy work but I never said I wanted an easy life.

Anyway, it's just nice to feel like I know what I'm doing with my life. The recent change of job has knocked my confidence a bit (not so much leaving the job but having to settle for the new job) so it's good to have a plan to get some of that back. I don't want to be 35 and working in a shop. I really, really don't but unless I do some further studying and training that is exactly what's gonna happen.

Anyway, rant over. The zoo's ace and I have a little bit of ambition in my soul. Tis all good. I did also consider a career in the zoo but I think I did the wrong subject.

Friday, November 07, 2008

The Last Post Of Freedom

This is my last weekend of being a bum before I start work. Really I should've been practising the sax, taking photographs and expanding my mind through the power of literature but, instead, I chose to play silly games and colour by numbers. On the upside, I can now boast that I am able to run my very own virtual chocolate shop. Yo Ho!!! Takes me back to my Fish Tycoon days.

Also, I found out that my ex boss is telling people he sacked me. This is lurking at the back of my mind. Part of me thinks I should let it lie as I know the truth and I don't think my old boss could actually convince anyone that he did sack me (he is renowned for his lies and his ego) but another part of me would like to call him up on this and ask him what the bloody fucking hell does he think he's playing at? Maybe I should just sit back and let karma make amends.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Blog Filler

This is the first time ever, I think, I have come to write a blog post without actually having thought about what I'm going to write about. Could be deadly.

It's been lovley having the past couple of weeks off work. Better than any kind of holiday because I've just had time to chill. Mum, Granny and I spent a day last week doing Granny type things. This involved getting lost on the way to Antrim (one of Mum and Granny's favourite hobbies), being on a road that none of us had ever been on before (another one of Mum and Granny's hobbies). Granny gets excited when she sees a car stopped by the side of the road: Ooh I wonder what's going on there?

Mum casually replies: It'll be a drug deal.

This writing with no direction is tough. I can see the reflection of my fingers on the computer screen as they hover over the keypad wondering what buttons to press. They are seriously looooong fingers. I really should use them for something other than picking my nose.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The Weekend

You are never too old to learn lessons. I have also recently discovered that you are ever too old to be scolded by yer ma.

Friday night I invited some drunk yoofs back to the Dreen. My thinking behind it was that I would be at home bright and early to help mum with party preparations. I didn't account for the fact that I'd be waking mum up bright and early with my entourage of drunken yoofs (also bare in mind this was Halloween night so my entourage included a Blues Brother who looked like Suggs from Madness, Mario, Kerm, who wasn't actually dressed up but was covered in a mixture of fake and real blood and looked like death not even warmed up, and Lewis who just looked like Lewis). Needless to say mum was not happy. Despite this however she ended up making one of them coffee and porridge and helping Mario sew his dungarees.

The Mexican Day of the Dead party was a considerably chilled and quiet affair. I'd had no sleep on Friday though so was glad of this. Also, I got the job I had my interview for. Yussss! It's just a job in a shop for Christmas but a change is as good as a rest and any job is a good job until it becomes a crap job.

Animal Update: Bonnie and I are bonding since the tragic death of the Bitcher; Paddy is embracing the role of Top Dog with great authority, he has recently started begging for food like Rosie used to so he obviously thinks this is an imortant part of being the boss; Scruff is enjoying his holidays and is on constant cat-mauling duty; The cat is my new BFF. Her and Scruff don't get on so she's using my bedroom as a haven.