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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Going Places

I found out recently that they've made an animated film of The Little Prince so on Sunday Gus and I sat down to watch it. I was crying before it even got to the sad bit. In fact, as soon as the Little Prince came on I started to cry. They were tears of joy, however, as I remembered how I felt when I first read that book. I was kind of too young to understand the worldly wisdom but I absorbed it all the same, I knew it was something special.

Gus has a new job which he starts on Saturday. There are many people delighted by the fact that he'll be working in a pet shop, none more so than the Zigatron who'll be entitled to 20% discount. Orange balls galore!

I have been feeling like I need to immerse myself in a different culture. It's been 5 years since I was in a country where English was not the native language. I miss the feeling of not really knowing what's going on most of the time. I miss having to speak Spanglish, Thailish or making exaggerated hand gestures to communicate. Actually, I do the exaggerated hand gestures anyway, which makes watching playback of videos of myself cringeworthy as all I can see is my tiny head in the background while these wispy, long alien fingers waft about the air.

Today was the first day that I had three clients. Two were new and I really feel like I'm getting somewhere now, feeling excited to learn and connect and gain the experience in diversity so I can become a better counsellor. I'm 8 hours away from hitting my 30 hour target to make it into 3rd year and it doesn't feel like I'm wading through mud quite so much. I relish seeing my supervisor ecause she puts my mind at rest and encourages me greatly. Gus is going places, I'm going places, Ziggy met another hairy lion boy who Gus met through GOT extra work and, who knows, maybe he'll get his first acting role soon :)

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Express Yourself

Out for a walk yesterday with Gus and Ziggy and I saw a tree I liked so I tried to be that tree. This consisted of me holding my arms and one leg up in a disjointed fashion. Later in the evening we fell to the drink because the sun was shining bright and it was Saturday night. You might say the theme of the evening was "expressing yourself" which Gus and I did with great gusto through the medium of dance, jobby talk and rhyming words. We had a fire escape disco, a candle light disco and a sitting down on the sofa disco. We funked out for 7 solid minutes to James Brown. We immersed ourselves in a little bit of electro sitar dub. For once, we did not play any GCDC songs, like Russian Alcoholic Zest.

Earlier in the day I walked past a guy sitting outside a cafe with a chess board and a sign that said "play chess?". I liked the cut of his gib so I challeneged him to a game. I couldn't take my time over it though as I was conscious of having to get back home to take Ziggy for his walk. I could have used that as an excuse as to why I lost horribly to him but, even with all the time in the world he'd still have won.

Work has been a lot better for me recently. I think it was a mind over matter thing. I just had to tell myself that it wasn't that bad and that I could survive all the childish nonsense that people fill their days up with instead of doing actual work. I should hopefully be getting back into music with the lads as well. I feel that the foggy mist has been lifted and that I'd like to enjoy the summer rather than feeling like the world isn't how it's meant to be. For me, right now, it's exactly how it's meant to be. Mind over matter!

Tuesday, May 03, 2016

A Carpet of Carnations

I felt a little ashamed of myself complaining about getting a bonus at work and not knowing what to do with it. My life is far from perfect but sometimes I do have a tendency to go into 'poor me' mode. On the one hand, I don't see why I should pretend that everything is a bed of roses. On the other hand, I know I'm privelaged in many ways. To even be able to barely afford an education is an opportunity many in the world don't have. Not only that, I am offered help by my family but pride prevents me from accepting it without showing some kind of resistance. I try to be fiercely independent and it doesn't always work in my favour.

So, instead of complaining I want to write about my birthday and what a lovely day it was. Katkins was home with her Mr. Handsome Baby Boy. On the morning of my birthday we went to the Giant's Causeway. I really wish I could say it was lovely but the wind was blowing a gale and we were all freezing. Except for baby J who was happed up in his baby carrier and doling out smiles to everyone he saw. Then we went out to Nelly's Garden for food and cake. Martha and Evie gave me a million brithday cuddles and kisses. Evie was so excited about the chocolate malteaser birthday cake, so excited that she could barely wait and so she lead the "Happy Birthday" chorus so we could get on with the eating of cake.

Ziggy lost his orange ball again and so I went to Pets at Home and he got a bundle of new toys. Then Gus came back from Scotland with a brand new orange ball. Ziggy destroyed it though. Perhaps he thought that was preferable to losing it again. That's the end of 'special' balls for Ziggy. He's not responsible enough.

Sunday, May 01, 2016

Bogus Bonus

Being in a band is worse than being in a relationship. Why? Because there's more than two people involved. Jakers was the first to throw his head up. Actually, it was probably Gus who was the first one to walk. Then he came back. Then Jakers left. Then Jakers came back. Then Tobe left. Then I took sabbatical because I was too busy with course work and my head got a little fried with all the dramatics. Now all the boys are back playing together and I'm still not sure what I want to do.

Things should be better after Wednesday. I have an exam on CBT, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It is my least favourite approach to counselling but I still gotta know how to use it. It doesn't really make my heart sing. That's why, instead of revising, my flat is cleaner today than it's ever been. After Wednesday I have one more assignment to do. I have until July to finish it and as long as I reach my 30 hours and pass everything I'll graduate into 3rd year. I'm not sure how I feel about the exam. They are my least favourite method of testing someone's ability and they've never been my strong point (put me under the spotlight and make me prove myself and I will automatically rebel because that's easier to stomach than being a failure).

Everything else is ho hum. Even Ziggy has little to report. We're living life day by day, hour by hour, burning scented candles because I got so many for my birthday. There was good news. I got my first ever bonus at work. Of course, they'll tax the bejesus out of it but that still leaves me with a couple of hundred pounds. I have been wondering what to do with it. My natural instinct is to hoard it away for a rainy day because I know for a fact there will be rainy days ahead. You don't go through 6 flatmates in a couple of years and not become a little apprehensive about where the next rent money's gonna come from. Then I thought I should treat myself to something because all my money has been tied up with learning and I haven't had something special in a while. I thought about a digital recording device so I could add bits and pieces to my songs. This would also be handy if I decide to start jamming again. Then I think I should be sensible and use the money to finally get my driving test (yawn). And though it's nice to have a bonus I can't help but hate the indecision and dilemma of what to do with it. Money complicates everything.