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Thursday, March 29, 2012

My Dog Twin

Me and Judy by hootchinhannah
Me and Judy, a photo by hootchinhannah on Flickr.

You know how they say about dogs looking like their owners? Well, I happen to look like my dog. This was a while ago though and I don't look like that anymore.

Really, the only purpose of putting this picture up is to make my blog a little less dull. I plan to post pics of my Palace of Heavenly Pleasure but it will be a while before I've got internet at home. Until then I have to make do with stealing minutes at work to keep up to date.

I made a new friend the other day. We bonded over our love of doing jigsaws. He was getting a couple of his framed. I don't think I would go to that length. Besides, once they're in a frame you can't do them again. The best jigsaw I ever did was an Elvis one. A couple of uni mates bought me it for my birthday one year. A jigsaw is my place of retreat. Once your lost in it there is nothing else in the world except you and a thousand higgledy piggledy bits of cardboard. Has anyone started the Jigsaw Appreciation Society yet? Someone should.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Rat Lady In Rags

I haven't driven in weeks. Getting settled into the new flat has taken precedence over the lessons but now I'm itching to get back behind the wheel. It's the sunny weather. it's making me think of all the places I could go on a nice day if I could drive. I had planned to be driving before I turned 30 but there's no way I'm going to get my licence in two and a half weeks. Oh well, I have to focus on the things I've achieved, not the things I haven't achieved.

I had my darling niece over last Friday for a play date. We did a jigsaw, played with stickers and done some etch-a-sketching but despite all these amazing things Miss M was way more excited to see the trains go by. We had to phone Miss M's mummy to find out what the timetable was. When I took her back home she was still going on about seeing the Derry train and that one day we would all get on the train and go to Derry.

The weather is amazing. Why can't we buy bottled sunshine yet? The things that man can do and we can't sell sunshine. Or teleport. I mean, come on scientists and get your finger out. We don't need mobile phones that can make the dinner. It's the simple pleasures.

The rats love their new home as much as I do. I am content now to have them back with me. Meka is still a bit shy and doesn't like being handled but Polly is as tame as a shrew, or have I just made that saying up? Polly is the kind of rat I could train to sit up on my shoulder while I walk about the town in rags with everyone calling me the rat lady!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Building the Nest

Today was a great day. I don't think I've ever had such a productive day. After waking up from a night of crazy dreams in which I was at war with a whole family of people who had taken out various store cards in my name and were trying to convince me that I wouldn't have to pay for anything they bought. So I didn't exactly wake up feeling refreshed. But after a good strong coffee round at Z's I was ready for anything.

Today was the day I did all the boring chores like scrub the kitchen cupboards, hoover the minging floors, clean the rats out, and find a little home for all the odds and ends that had just moved in and didn't quite know their place yet. I have learnt a very important lesson in life. Moving in to a proper place of your own is not an overnight experience. It's not the same as me packing my rucksack and living off the bare essentials for a while. It's taken me 3 weeks to get everything sorted so that I have my little haven exactly as I want it. Just in time for Dad coming to stay next week :)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Me and J.W.

I managed to age about 20 years in the space of one week. Instead of spending my weekend getting full drunk and waking with a sore head and little recollection of the previous night's events I took my hand to a spot of D.I.Y.

On Saturday evening I strolled over to Sainsbury's and was delighted to see that B&Q was still open. I spent half an hour perusing the paint ailses searching for something to redecorate the old brass bed I have on loan from mum. This bed is over a hundred years old. I asked mum if people had died in it and she said, no doubt, thousands of people died probably in it and I didn't want to know the half of what went on in that bed. So the rust has been sanded and Jakers did a grand job of painting it and I'm getting through the tins of Brasso like there's no tomorrow. Me and John Wilson are the best of friends :)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Getting There

The whole moving house thing is a bit of a pain in the arse really. Especially when the landlord is a complete an utter incompetent monster. I've been paying rent for 2 whole weeks and only been able to stay in the flat 2 nights. One of those nights I was full drunk so I'm not sure that actually counts. There's a problem with my heating so it's been far too cold for me or the rats to stay. The rats are currently staying up at Jakers. I miss them but I know they are well looked after and Rocky definitely doesn't mind. Rocky and Jakers always had a special bond. Rock was a daddy's boy and Pepe was a mummy's girl. Meka is still a timid wee thing and she looks more and more like Pepe each day. Polly is still an adventurer and tries to escape the cage at every opportunity.

I will be without internet for a while as I haven't organised it for the new flat yet. I will have to grab snatches of time to do my blog whenever I can. I guess it will be a few weeks yet before my little palace is, indeed, a palace. If anyone who visits me likes herbal tea they are in for a treat as I have been building up a little collection of various teas. Since quitting the smoke I have been reluctant to drink coffee in the evenings so herbal teas are a healthier alternative. Before long I will be the healthiest I've ever been, in mind, body and soul. I'm back on the junk though. The junk food that is. Sugar has got it's evil hold on me once again. Malteasers never tasted so good. Will have to add horlicks to my stockpile of drug free beverages.

Monday, March 05, 2012

How To Beat The Recession

So I did a bad thing the other day. I served an old man in work who gave me a fake tenner. I sort of new it was fake but I didn't want to accuse this poor old wee man of trying to diddle me. Soon after I told Jayney what I'd done and she checked the tenner. It was a poor attempt at a counterfeit note and I was raging with myself for taking it. Then I came up with a devious plan to get rid of it. I took it to the nearest bargain shop and stood in the amazingly long line. There were several reasons for taking it to a shop that sold cheap things a) those shops are so busy the people on the tills are like zombies b) the people who work in them don't really care if people give them dud notes c)quite often they are young in age and not a savvy as older shop assistants might be.

So I stood in the longest queue because there was a girl on the tills who looked like she was about 12. She definitely seemed quite zombie like. The queue moved slowly and she hit her till bell. She hit it 3 times before some superviser in a black shirt came out to help. I was just about to get to the till and willing the customer in front to hurry up so I didn't get served by the more senior member of staff. I did get served by him though and, to my joy and disbelief, he took it.

I was obviously giving the old fella who gave it to me the benefit of the doubt. I didn't want to embarrass him and reasoned that he had probably been given it by some swindling swine. My boss is more cynical though and reckons this old man knows exactly what he's doing and going round the whole of Ballymena palming off his dud notes. My driving instructor told me that he was giving a lesson to a boy and he watched as wee old man walked down the street reading his newspaper and purposely walking in the path of the learner's car hoping to get a wee dunt so he could make a nice claim. Cute as a bag of monkeys he was. I wonder if it was the same old dude photocopying ten pound notes.