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Monday, October 17, 2011


This is day five of no sugar. That is, no sugar in the form of sweets, chocolate, biscuits or desserts. I allow myself yoghurts and maple and pecan granola and fruit. It hasn't even been that difficult. I've had a couple of dreams of eating chocolates but in the dream I am disappointed in myself. I don't wake up in the morning disappointed that I have no sweets.

Yesterday Jakers and I headed out to Nellybert's for a little woodwork project. Last week I called into an old fashioned DIY type store in town. I thought it was Herbison's but that is the shop on the opposite side of the street (long closed now and nobody seems to remember what kind of shop it was). I called in on the offchance that he might sell bits of wood. Apparently not, and apparently I was a total eejit for even thinking so. He said to try a timber yard or B&Q both of which I scoffed at being no use. He then reached up to a shelf where one lonely, dusty box sat. It was some form of wooden shelves. It was no use but I noticed the many tubs of rat killer on the shelf below. I laughed and told the shopkeeper I wanted the wood for my rat cage. I was just about to leave when he went out the back and came out with a plank of wood.

'Would that be of any use to you' Says he.

'Oh aye, that would do the job alright. What will you take for it? Says I.

'Och, a pound will do' Says He.

'A pound? Sure take two for it.' Says I.

'Oh no, no, a pound will do.'

And with that I marched up the street with my plank of wood under my arm.

When I got home I showed it to Jakers. He asked me how much it cost and I told him, proudly, that it only cost a pound. Jakers was disgusted. I was ripped off. I paid a pound for an old dusty shelf that had fallen off the wall. And it was riddled with woodworm.

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