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Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Queen Of Sweets

Dirt Bird sent me a text message a while back. It read:

IF YOU'RE AT THE PUB TONIGHT GET A SLOE GIN AND LEMONADE AND TELL ME WHAT SWEETIE YOU THINK IT TASTES LIKE.

I sent her one back saying:

DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TRY THAT DRINK BUT I RECKON IT WOULD TASTE LIKE REFRESHERS.

Dirt Bird replied:

OH MY GOD! YOU REALLY ARE THE QUEEN OF SWEETS! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT TASTES LIKE.

Yes, The Queen Of Sweets. Everyone's got their niche. Mine's sweets. I once wrote a letter to Mr. Cadbury asking whatever happened to Secret chocolate bars. Imagine my excitement when I actually got a reply in the post! It said, "Thankyou for your recent enquiry about Secret chocolate bars but Cadbury did not manufacture them, it was, in fact, Nestle Rowntree".

I wrote a letter to Nestle too hoping I'd wangle a recipe out of them but they wouldn't share. McGroggan's of Ballymena are just as greedy with their fudge and ice-cream recipes. I need me a job in the sweet industry, either as manufacturer or as a sweet tester (if it doesn't pass the Hannah seal of approval it just ain't good enough).

I'm sure everyone's bored of skittles, chewits and jelly tots and their boring strawberry, orange and lemon flavours. Imagine sweets with flavours like mango, kiwi, watermelon, gooseberry, loganberry, snozzleberry, lychee and peach. Hmmmm....Willy Wonka don't know shit about shit.

5 comments:

Hails said...

Loved this post, Hannah, it made me laugh out loud. Particularly the bit about the Secret letter. :) And re: alcohol, I presume you've tried Skittles vodka? My sister raved on about it and so I made some and thought it was actually quite manky but maybe I did it wrong.

We get some more exotic favoured sweeties here, like watermelon and mango and so on. I'll try to bring you some back if I'm ever home for a visit!

hootchinhannah said...

Yaaay I love foreign sweets!!! I haven't actually tried skittles vodka as vodka tends to turn me into a raving loon but it sounds interesting.

the broken down barman said...

i suggest taboo, red sweet martini, pernod and orange juice. bet you cant guess what that tastes like.

cheers for reading and commenting on my blog

x
x

Anonymous said...

liqourice torpedoes. right?

hootchinhannah said...

Pernod does have a distinctly aniseed taste about it. I don't know what it would taste like with red sweet martini and orange juice though. Delicious? I'll have to try.

I have a question for you broken down barman. Can you think of a drink that begins with 'Y'?