My Best Friend

It is great for Ziggy to be at my mum's. It's doggy heaven there. The problem is, now he knows how great life can be he just wants that all the time. I have pointed out before how Ziggy is very much like his owner. He is also very senstive, like me. When I am feeling bad, Ziggy feels bad. This creates a vicious circle as I start feeling guilty for kepping Ziggy with me when we both know that his life could be awesome all the time. I feel worse. Ziggy feels worse. He lives for his walk around the river path. He settles in the evening when I start to settle and relax before bed. But while I'm in the throes of despair so is he.

So I had to ask myself was it better that Ziggy go live with mum permanently? A couple of days ago it seemed like I might not have any choice. It breaks my heart to deprive this fine young beast of all the pleasure that life has to offer him. He's young and virile. My mood at the minute is probably more suited to an old, sleepy dog. I have been pondering it over and over and neither options were looking good. If I let Ziggy go it would be another loss for me to cope with. As guilty as I feel I do take pleasure in him being around. He's the one good thing in my life at the minute.

Last night we both went out to mum's to stay. It warmed my heart to see Ziggy so happy and comfortable out there. Ziggy picked up on me feeling more at ease and when he wasn't playing with the other dogs he was lying close to me. It made me think that, as much as it's not ideal having a dog living in a small flat in the town, if I'm happy, he's happy. The wee darling doesn't have the capacity to know that he could live in the country all the time. It doesn't bother him as much as it bothers me.

Hopefully getting a flatmate will change the dynamics. Ziggy will have a bit more going on his life. I won't feel guilty for going out for a couple of hours to see friends. My life will get better and Ziggy's life will get better. I won't be stressed and Ziggy won't be stressed. Until that happens I have to focus on not feeling guilty that Ziggy's here with me. He loves me. I'm his mummy.