Good Luck Dodgin' Them Bullets Boy

Amy: Hi John, just ignore me if I'm being nosey but it came up on my newsfeed on facebook something you wrote on Noon's wall. Am I the Amy that you were supposedly meant to have kidnapped? Who the hell has Noon been talking to? All a bit mental.

John: Hey, no not at all, thanks for writing. That message from her really span me out. Not sure what the hell she was going on about. Maybe you could write to her and tell her I didn't do that please. I did, however, not pay the bike money but you remember why. Bloody gangster rip off merchants. I plan on going back over there with some mates in October so I don't want to get shot. Anyway, how have you been? Long time no hear. John x

Amy: I just sent her a message saying you didn't kidnap me. Crazy though. I do remember the whole bike incident. I'm sure you'll be fine going back. I'm just working away in a cushty office number, saving money to do more travelling. Hope You don't get shot when you go back in October ;)

Amy: Hey John. Not sure what to do. Kieth told Noon that something happened between us and now she wants to know if it's true. She says she doesn't care (but I think she's pissed off). The ball's in your court on that one but I don't want to ignore her so I have to tell her something. Fucking Kieth!

John: Oh crapola. Right, well, you could just say Kieth got confused or something and we didn't. If you don't mind. I was planning on seeing her when I go over there so don't want to piss her off. Everyone's going to want to shoot me.

Amy: Yeah, probably better if I tell her nothing happened. Fucking Kieth. I love him but fucksakes where's his code of honour? Anyway, good luck dodgin' them bullets boy!

John: Yes, I will be emailing him. Thanks. Your discretion is very much appreciated. I'll let you know how I get on. If I don't get shot.