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Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Worried Chick Blues

Life is tough at the minute. I don't say that in a 'woe is me' kinda way but certain stresses and strains take their toll and eventually you end up cracking over the most inappropriate thing.

I'm worried. Worried about my Granny and even more worried about the fact that I don't see her as often as I'd like to. I ask every day how she is and I'm told that she's good, or ok, or not too bad. But the last 2 times I've seen her recently and she has not seemed to be ok. The last time she was dizzy and weak and had to lie down. The time before that she was emotionally preoccupied.

I'm also worried for my mum, who probably doesn't think I am but isn't it funny how worry can manifest itself? I'm worried because I know how much emotional and physical pressure she's under and I worry that my low mood and depression adds to that. So I try to keep it together but all that worry still niggles away.

I worry that this period of full time work will end in a matter of weeks and I'll be no closer to living independently like a 28 year old adult should be. I worry that I will never be financially stable enough to start my own family.

I worry that my relationship will suffer because I can't shake these blues and I feel guilty for not being that carefree fun-lovin' woman that I used to be for my guy. He by no means makes me feel this way and is nothing but a sweet, strong rock for me (kinda like yellow man but he's not yellow) and I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for him I'd have fallen to pieces by now.

I can feel a wee song coming on here..... :(

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