A Very Handsome Paddy

A Very Handsome Paddy
Originally uploaded by hootchinhannah

*WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT Paddy has a very foul mouth*

When Hannah told me I'd been tagged I had all kinds of bad feelings about it but then she explained all's I had to do was write about 6 of my most endearing qualities...easy!

1. I am KING of the tuggers. Jaws of steel, me. Fucking handsome with it too. I was going to do it professionally but thought I had enough pressure in my life keeping the 2 bitcher dogs and that fucking hoorcat in line.

2. I'm fussy about food but I am rather partial to a wee taste of cow shit. Bert and Clint shout at me but Rosie Dog says it'll make my coat nice and glossy.

3. Bitchers just don't do it for me. Ever since losing my balls in a horrific accident (in which I'm told I was very very brave) I only lust for men. They smell like fine wine and I love the feel of their strong hands petting my back.

4. I fucking HATE cats. They smell like rancid pus infested boils, they taste like jizz from an elephant with a bad case of elephantitis and they sound like wailing banshees with daggers in their eyes.

5. I sleep-woof. Or so Hannah tells me but she says I don't sound atall scary. She says I sound like a big baby which is why I'm inclined not to believe her.

6. When I get very excited I sneeze. The more excited I am the louder the sneeze. I have nasal problems.

So there you are. 6 reason why I am Paddy The Handsomest Dog In Ireland. Apparently I'm supposed to tag some other folk but I only know Boonie, who's already done it and Rosie but she's far too boring these days. Fat lazy bitch.