It Is Difficult To Play The Trombone

Kids are funny creatures. They do and say and believe the strangest things. I heard a little girl say mummy you're hurting my face. Her mum just laughed and said how can I be doing that I'm not even touching you. Their little minds are so undeveloped that they can believe that anything is possible. They will make up their own crazy conclusions about the world and how it works. Sometimes they are misguided and sometimes a little too naive. Here's some of the things I believed as a youngster:

* In the 'olden' days, when my grandparents were children, everything was black and white. Colour was not introduced to the world 'til sometime in the 70s when everyone was tripping out on acid.

* Anon was a poet. He was so well known and wrote so many poems that he could be known by his first name only. He was on the same kind of celebrity scale as Madonna or Prince.

* Buzzards are called buzzards because they buzz (ok so I was 14 when I believed this but I was still technically a youngster).

* Bears lived in the woods in Ireland and the big sticks that are used for putting out forest fires were to beat the bears away when they attacked you (I had some help in believing this).

* If I swallowed a plum stone a plum tree would grow in my tummy (I know all kids believe this but I really believed it, to the point where I cried for hours after swallowing a plum stone).

* It is difficult to play the trombone because it can suck the breath out of you.



Now that I'm older I'm much more wiser. I know there are no bears in Ireland (but don't tell Pirate John that). I know that anon is an abbreviation of anonymous. I know that buzzards don't buzz but I still don't know why they're called buzzards. I know a plum tree won't grow in your stomach. But I still believe that a trombone is difficult to play because it can suck the breath out of you. It makes total sense in my head.