She Loved Us All

On Friday we laid my Great Aunt Mary to rest. She was my grandfather's sister but she was also my Godmother. And as we said good bye to her on Friday a very silly and naive childhood memory came flooding back to me. I recall being slightly jealous of how good she was to my 2 sisters. Of course, she was just as good to me, more than good, but she was my Godmother not theirs! Of course, now that I am an adult I understand that things don't work that way. I never expressed my annoyance but I realise now that the reason she never treated me any differently to my sisters was because she was a good, kind woman with a heart of gold. And on the one hand I felt jealous but on the other hand I felt lucky that I had such a kind, caring Godmother. She loved us all and we were always in her thoughts.

Dog Treats and Dresses

Well, it's been pretty quiet here in Hannah Land for a while. I say quiet but this isn't true. There's always a lot going on behind the scenes but nothing that's really bloggable.

I had a job interview today. I think it went reasonably well but I'm never one to set myself up for a fall. The fact is that there's one post and everyone's looking for work at the minute. It may well just boil down to someone having more experience. But you have to be in it to win as they say.

It's Bert's 50 plus one birthday tomorrow so I called in at the International shop down in Harryville and bought him a jar of pickled nonsense. He got some wine and biscuits too (in my head I'm saying bisk-wits because of that Fox's panda advert).

I also got some treats for the dogs and cats, a crossword puzzle book for Pearlie and some copies of an old photograph for mum. So that's the whole house sorted. I also went and got me a dress for Katy's wedding. I might end up bringing it back tomorrow though as the thought of even trying it on again, let alone wearing it out in public, is making me feel nervous. And cold.

This day next week me and my boy will be going to Madrid. Hooray!!! He's never been on a plane before and is a little scared. I have the perfect cure for that though. It's called whiskey ;) I have a feeling it's going to be a lovely wee trip away.

Finally Some Photos

I thought it was about time I got some pics of my time away. I would list all the different places they are but I'm feeling far too lackadaisical. I have more up on flickr and more to come but that's just a wee taster for now.

So, not a lot else to report really. I still haven't got myself an outfit for Katy's wedding. I still haven't booked accommodation for Madrid. I still don't have a job. I did get a (much needed) haircut. I have also, inadvertently, been training to become a housewife, which is silly really as I plan never to be a housewife. For two simple reasons; I will never have a house and I will never be a wife.

But, anyway, this post isn't about that it's about the photos of my trip away. I wish I'd taken so many more now. I thought I had all the time in the world though. Too much time. But there are quite a few that I'm proud of and it's nice to have some visual aids to remember my trip by.

World's Largest Jigsaw

There was something I hadn't taken into consideration about the whole pole-dancing thing. Dancing around in skimpy underwear is not ideal for someone who is morbidly feared of the cold and would normally turn up for a day's work wearing, vest, t.shirt, sweater and coat. I naively thought that they'd have good heating in these strip joints but as mum pointed out, how else do they keep the lasses nipples so hard? So, back to the drawing board. Oh, if only I could draw.

I'd like to make the world's largest jigsaw and be part of a team that helps build it. The average jigsaw has 1000 pieces and measures approximately 28 inches by 20 inches. This leaves us with 36 pieces per row and 28 pieces per column. So, based on these calculations a 1,000,000 piece jigsaw would measure....

Ok, I actually tried to work that out with a calculator but I still can't get my head around it. But, basically, it would be a BIG jigsaw. A bigsaw if you like. The picture at the top is the image I've chosen for this jigsaw, mainly because I love cows but also because there's a lot of variation in the oolours which would make a massive jigsaw a bit easier to do. Yes, i have thought about this a little too much. I'm not mad I just have a lot of time on my hands at the minute.

Freddy's Foxy Friend

I'm glad I took a dander down the back lane today. Because if I didn't I wouldn't have seen two animals having a stand off. One was easily identified as Fat Face Freddy. The other animal, I presumed, was also a cat but when it looked up at me and ran off there was no mistaking that bushy tail for the tail of Fantastic Mr. Fox. So what were Freddy and the fox standing around chatting about?

Freddy: Feck off Foxy, I'm more ginger than you are!

Foxy: Are you feck Fat Face. You're more like a strawberry blond. Bet ye dye your hair too. I can see white on your belly.

Freddy: Look Foxy, not only am I more ginger but I am also a black belt in Catrate so you better keep your big foxy mouth shut or I'll hoof ye.

Foxy: Hahahahaha it's KARATE Fat Face and I bet the only belt you wear is a chastity belt. Everyone round these parts knows you have no balls! LOL

Freddy: Don't you LOL at me. I'll set my bear on you. Her name's Bonnie!

Foxy: Ha! Bonnie's not a bear she's a German Shepherd and I know for a fact she's soft as shite. wouldn't hurt a fly.

At which point I show up and Foxy runs away whilst Freddy laughs down his sleeve and then miaows at me like he's such a sweet innocent wee cat.

Drunk on Fudge

Edinburgh is gorgeous. I've seen a fair amount of cities in the past few months and, after Oaxaca, Edinburgh comes in a very close second. Mel and I amused ourselves with riverpath walks and exhibitions. We climbed Scot's Monument, which is an old gothic tower that gives stunning views across the city. It's pretty tough to get all the way to the top as you have to ascend, what feels like, a never ending spiral staircase that becomes so narrow on the top there's barely enough room for one person to squeeze by. So if the height of the tower doesn't make you dizzy the steps up definitely will.

We also indulged in many types of amazing fudge; mint, chocolate caramel, Belgian chocolate, 'special' fudge (unfortunately it wasn't special like I know special but it was damn delicious) and, my favourite, Turkish delight flavour fudge. Needless to say I was in Fudge Heaven. Though by morning time it was more like a fudge hangover. I also had my long awaited Papa John's pizza. Hmmmmm. I hear there's one in Belfast. I wonder if they do free delivery to Cullybackey?

But we didn't just sit around filling our big faces with fudge and pizza (though we did do a lot of that). We also had drinks by the river of Leith and went to the Camera Obscura, which is an exhibition of optical illusions and fun bits of gadgetry to play around with. All in all it was a lovely wee trip across the water and it was just nice to hang with Mel before she goes away to Australia for months on end.

Upon my arrival I was informed by mum that Expedia had been phoning me to inform me of a flight change from Peru to Madrid. Seeing as I'm not in Peru I thought there was little point in phoning them back but the guy on the phone said if I wasn't taking the flight I could get my money back. So I phoned back first thing yesterday morning and this has resulted in me being £300 richer. Today is my birthday so, thanks Expedia, what a lovely birthday present :)

Easter Fun and Frolics

It's not that Ive been lazy about blogging I have genuinely had no time to update. I've been much too busy having fun y'see. The infamous Dirt Bird was over for Easter and, naturally, this involved serious amounts of drinking. Though I can't blame it all on her as I was drinking on nights she wasn't out as well. On Sunday night we all vacated Nellybert's for a good old game of "Throw Your Money Out The Window", otherwise known as Poker. I'd have won if he hadn't been for that pesky Bert. And Swisser and Dirt Bird and Danny and Marty. Robbin' bastards I tell ye!

So by Monday I was ready for a quiet night in but DJ Yoda was playing in Belfast and I had somehow managed to let someone make me think it was a good idea to go. It was actually and I had a goood night even though I was secretly hoping that the bus would leave for Belfast without me. I had just enough time to nurse an accumulative hangover on Tuesday, get showered and pack for the jaunt down to Dublin on Wednesday morning with Z and baby M.

We only spent a day and a half in Dublin but it was a lovely opportunity for me to spend time with my gorgeous niece. She now thinks that her auntie Hannah isn't a bad ould spud and she particularly likes the Boingy Song. In Dublin we visited the Dead Animal Exhibition which is a bit freaky if you don't like stuffed animals but really interesting all the same. We did a lot of ther nice stuff too but, for me, one of the most exciting things was enjoying a packet of Willy Wonka's crunchy Nerd Jelly Beans. I know Willy Wonka's a fictional character but I'd still like to marry him.

So then it was back to Ballymena for a ween o' hours before I made my way here, to Edinburgh, to visit my good friend the Lovely Mel. So far Edinburgh has been kind to me by basking me in sunshine and offering me the most delectable fudge but I'll write more about all that when I get home. For now the optical illusion exhibition is calling to us.

Be Cheerful

Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.



I found a copy of this poem in my wardrobe. I had written it out in a letter for a friend but never got round to posting it. I'm kinda glad I didn't though as I'd have forgotten about it for another 10 years and it's too good a poem to be forgotten. I'm not a particularly religious person but that's why I like the line "Therefore, be at peace with God, Whatever you conceive Him to be". I guess I like it because it's good advice for life in general, especially the last line "Be cheerful, Strive to be happy".

My Boy's Got Bill Payer's Rights

I met the infamous Shovel Hands McKee on Friday night. His hands are huuuge, hence the name Shovel Hands McKee. I'm pretty sure that every time there's an eclipse it's because this guy is waving at his friends. Also, when we were leaving the pub on Friday night my boyfriend, who was a leetle beet drunken, pointed at a policeman and shouted out "Is that a real peeler?" to which I replied "I think the fact that he's wearing a uniform with POLICE written on it would suggest that, yes, he is a real peeler" I'm not sure why he thought there would be fake peelers hanging around on a Friday night but he does get silly notions when he's intoxicated. He was also proudly announcing to me that because he paid for electricity he had Bill Payer's Rights. This meant he was justified in turning the lights on and off repeatedly while I tried to sleep. Oh how I missed that drunken fool!

I Missed My Pub

Well, Ballymena hasn't changed much since I left. But that's how I wanted it to be. Just the same. It was lovely seeing my man for the first time in 7 weeks. I was so nervous about seeing him it felt like a first date, which we never really had before so that was a whole new experience. He had an assortment of malty treats waiting for me which, of course, included a Malteaster Bunny. I went to my local pub on Friday and caught up with a lot of friendly faces. If only I could have taken that pub, and the people in it, to South America! Everyone was glad to see me home safe and sound.

My time this week has been dedicated to building a set of drawers. The task itself was easy enough but it took me a couple of days because of extended breaks for drinking coffee with guests and babysitting Martha Amy. My beautiful niece seems to think I'm an alright person now and doesn't cry immediately after being placed in my arms. She has grown quite a bit since I last seen her and is at the stage where everything has to be looked at, felt and then put in her mouth to see how it tastes. Zoe, Martha and I have a trip to Dublin planned in April. I realised that there's so much of Ireland I want to see let alone the rest of the world.

Pearlie seems suitably pleased to have me back. I don't think I actually gave her time to miss me properly but she is pleased that I'm back all the same. The dogs are glad to have another feeder on hand. Bonnie isn't shy about letting me know that she's hungry. Neither are the cats. Fat Face Freddy spent my first night here lying at the bottom of my bed. He must have known that I'd missed him.

So all in all I'm glad to be home. All of a sudden the days are much shorter. I'm not worrying about what I can do to fill my time. I've got an application form for Student Support up at Queen's. I used to do this job in Stoke and I really loved it so if I could get a wee gig here, even if it's up in Belfast, I'd love it. It's kinda the wrong time of year because student's don't have much need for support worker's in the summer but if I can get my foot in the door for September it would be fine. I could get a temporary job for the summer doing whatever. I'm sure things will all fall into place for me.

Home, Sweet Home

After only 7 weeks away I've decided to go home. The truth is I wasn't really enjoying myself. Also, I feel too vulnerable traveling on my own. Men out here are predators. I feel like it's too easy for someone to take advantage of me. I've had a few scary experiences out here and the last one, in Lima, was the final straw. But it's not just that. I found myself continuously disappointed with the places I visited (with the exception of Oaxaca and Banos) and the people I met. I'm glad to be going home to people who know and love me.

I'm glad that I took a chance. I had such a burning desire to come here and I had to get it out of my system. And I have learnt a valuable lesson about myself, I am not cut out for being on my own. I have not been able to make anyone happy out here and therefore I can't be happy. I can't wait to get back to my darling boyfriend, to cuddle my darling cats and dogs, to help mum with the housework. I have also learnt that I do not suit unemployment. A day is too long when you've nothing to do. I need to be busy, I need to be useful, I need to be needed. So I don't regret my premature departure. I don't care that I have wasted a lot of money that I worked hard to get. The only thing that is important now is that I feel safe and happy. Maybe I will come back one day but not on my own. The good experiences I did have were tainted by the fact that I had no one to share them with.

Maybe a lot of people will think that I'm rash in my decision, that I should give it time and things will improve. The fact is rhat these 7 weeks have been the longest of my life. And that is only half the reason why I'm going home. I thought I was brave but I had no idea how uncomfortable I would feel by the men out here. A lone woman is an easy target. I know from the times I did spend with other people the men will largely ignore you. But everytime I was on my own I received unwanted attention. Even men who were meant to be in a position of trust. I woke up in the early hours of the morning to find a guy who worked at the hostel I was staying at had used a key to let himself into my room. If there had been even one other person sharing with me this wouldn't have happened. I was lucky, I told him sternly to leave and thankfully, after a while, he did. But it is scary to think what could have happened.

So for anyone who does feel like I'm making a mistake, believe me, I know myself better than anyone and I know in my heart that that this is the right decision. The more scared and vulnerable I feel out here the more of a target I am. And of course, I was warned about all the scary situations I could possibly face but I was naive and I had to find out for myself. For that, I'm proud of myself. That I never let anybody else's apprehensions put me off what I wanted to do. But I also know when I've had enough, and I've had enough. There's a reason why people say home, sweet home and that's exactly where I'm going.

Sometimes Not Even The Sunshine Helps

This experience of travelling S.America is so different to my time in Thailand for several reasons. I guess the most significant is that in Thailand, because I was working, I was settled somewhere. I was also there with one of my best friends and there were several other teachers who became good friends. I had a chance to get to know and become close with some of the local Thai people because I wasn't moving on every few days. I had a support network. I was never too far from people who cared about me and who I could have a drink and share a laugh with.

Now that I'm travelling, and especially because I'm doing it alone, I feel disjointed. In one way it's liberating and in another it's isolating. I've had company but not with real friends, people who really know me. Normally I don't mind sitting in a bar on my own but now, sometimes, I feel like a poor, sad loser with no friends.

Another reason why this time is different is because when I went to Thailand I had just come out of a long, arduous relationship that was bad for my health both physically and emotionally. Thailand was my retreat from that. But this time I have left the person that I love for, what's starting to feel like, an eternity. While I admire us both, me for not letting anything get in the way of living my dream, and my man for giving me the freedom and trust to do what I want to do, it's hard being away from him for so long. It's only been a month and a half but the days are so long now that I'm not working. And even though we live in an age of modern technology I can't help but feel very far away. Mobile phones have not been working in my favour and Skype, though brilliant in theory, has proved to be very frustrating. Technology and I have never really had a harmonious relationship.

Another difference is the fact that I'm nothing more than a tourist, doing pretty much the same thing as every other tourist. Yes, it's an experience that's unique to me but in Thailand I was really immersed in the culture. I was part of their community and treated with respect and admiration. Over here I'm just another white face. Yes, I am welcomed but no, I'm not repsected or that well thought of. I know that in regards to this I should just get over myself but it is purely a symptom of having spent a bit too much time on my own recently, with too much time to think. I always said that the thing I was most worried about was being lonely and I was reassured by many that that wouldn't be the case. Now that it is I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong. It's not that I'm turning down opportunites of company or that potential company is shunning me, I just seem to have been moving in the wrong circles over the past week. I haven't seen anyone I could hang out with or, if I have, it's clear that they are part of their own wee niche that doesn't seem very welcoming.

I also know that this is probably a temporary thing and I'm sure that I will fall in with some people eventually but, until then, the days will seem long and dull living in my own head. Surely a dog for companionship would make all the doubt and lonliness disappear?

Taditional Ecuadorian Woman

ecuadorian woman in traditional dress in quito
Originally uploaded by springerstacy

This is a picture of an Ecuadorian woman in traditional clothing. The reason I'm posting it is because the woman remind me of Pearlie in her heyday. To be fair, This lady's costume is relatively tame. A lot of women wear even more shawls as layers and often wear checked aprons as well. I love the Ecuadorian hats though. i'd like to get one for Bert but as I've still a few months to go the chances of it getting squashed out of shape, or lost, are very high. Maybe I'll order him one from the internet when I get back.

I arrived in Cuenca yesterday evening and all I can say is that the scenery was delicious. Rolling, tumbling hills with little brooks and streams trickling down them. It really was gorgeous. If you have to be on a bus for 7 hours you might as well have something nice to look at. Cuenca is stunning as well. For a city. So I guess rather than sit here on the net i should probably go out and take some photos.

Time For Reflection

It's taken me a while to think about some of the differences between home and Mexico but I've had a few chilled days to myself. So here are some of the things I noticed:

If you're offering someone a cigarette it's considered rude to take the cigarette out of the pack and hand it to them. It's better to let them take the cigarette out of the pack themselves. I'd offered many Mexican people cigarettes by hand before 2 Oaxcan guys told me this so I don't think it's really that big a deal. Interesting though.

Shoe shining is still very much practiced in Mexico. I guess it's because the streets can be very dry and dusty and I think it's also a status thing. The rich buisnessmen couldn't possibly clean their own shoes!

Most Mexican dishes use all the same ingredients (tortillas, meat, cheese and beans) they just present them in a different way and give them different names.

Mexican people are very tactile, even when meeting someone for the first time they will hug you and give you a kiss on the cheek.

It is not uncommon to see older men lying on the street in broad daylight passed out drunk (or possibly dead).

Mexican policemen and government security guard are heavily armed with guns. Big massive guns.

As a general rule, Mexicans are very friendly and helpful. The downside to this, however, is if they don't the answer to something they will tell you anything. Hence me walking around the airport for 2 hours before I located my lost luggage!

Mexican people are always late, not by minutes but by hours. They will often use the traffic as an excuse, which, to be fair, is a valid excuse as the traffic is crazy in the city.

Mexican people are extremely noisy! There's no such thing as going for a 'quiet' drink as the bars are always playing extremely loud music. They also like to hoot and holler a lot, especially on public transport where they're often trying to sell CD's or snacks.

So that's about all I can think of just at the moment but I'm sure there are many more differences, and probably much more interesting ones but this is all my brain's allowing me to remember just at the minute.

I'm In Riobamba now and have treated myself to a private room in a hotel for a couple of nights. After sharing dorm rooms it's such a pleasure to have my own space and a TV. I watched all manner of nonsense last night just because I could. I don't normally watch a lot of TV at home but it is nice having access to it. Tomorrow I'm making my way down to Cuenca. There's supposed to be some good museums down there so I'll while away my time soaking up a little bit of culture!

Sugar Overload

Yesterday was lovely. After I'd had a few cups of coffee and checked my emails I set off on a hike up one of the hills that overlooks Baños. It was more or less a Pixie Trail (I LOVE Pixie Trails!) but it was pretty steep. As I was stopping every 10 minutes to take a rest school kids were running up past me, one in his bare feet, but they all said 'Hola'. To be fair, they have youth on their side and I had the heat nd altitude against me. 3 workmen also stopped on their way down for a brief chat and to shake my hand. It's at those times I'm glad I've got even a little bit of Spanish so I can be polite and friendly back to the locals.

I was completely exhausted by the time I made it to the cafe at the top but the spectacular view and cold fruit juice was my reward. The juice was made from local fruit. It didn't specify what kind but it was lovely and refreshing.

I met a guy from San Francisco at the cafe so I had some company for the trek back down again. I was glad to be on my own on the way up though 'cos I like to take things at my own pace, which is generally slower than most people's. It was nice to have company on the way down though.

BaÑos is a great place for people with a sweet tooth. I bought a little box of confectionary that had cubes of a thick fruit jam-like substance and cubes of fudge. Well, I say fudge, it was like fudge but without the condensed milk.The lady also gave me a little free sample of the sugarcane, which is so sickeningly sweet not even I could finish it.

After my hike I indulged in the famous thermal baths that are rich in minerals and heated by the nearby Volcan Tungurahua (which has been spouting mushroom clouds of smoke at an alarming rate this past couple of days). I started off in the medium bath which was lovely and relaxing. Then I had a go in the super hot bath but could only stick it for 10 minutes. Even though the heat was uncomfortable it still felt like it was doing me a lot of good.

Afterwards I had a really healthy dinner of roasted onions, tomatoes and peppers with tortillas and salsa. That's the healthiest meal I've had after so long in Mexico eating cheese and drinking Oaxacan hot chocolate. After my dinner I had a cup of hot passion fruit juice mixed with alcoholic sugar cane. It was pleasant but not the kind of drink most people would enjoy, probably because of the sugar content.

I then went back my hostel feeling well-fed, well-exercised and well-relaxed, content to do a bit of reading before bed but ended up going out for drinks with some people and undoing all the good that I'd done to my body. I woke up this morning feeling horrific. I don't blame the beer or the rum, I blame the alcoholic sugarcane!

Quiet in Quito

So, El Tule. Though it's only about 13 km outside of Oaxaca Danny and I found it hard enough to get to as buses didn´t run and taxis only go to certain areas. We spent a good 45 minutes trying to figure it out and just as we were both about to give up I noticed a taxi that said 'El Tule' on the side. Yaaaay!! So in we jumped with 4 other people (that's how they taxi people around in Mexico, 3 in the back and 2 in the front, not including the driver!).

El Tule is only a small....hamlet I guess, or village, I'm not sure but as I said, the attraction was Old Granpa, an enormous 52 meter wide tree (El Arbol de Santa Maria) said to be the oldest living object in the world. ¨Tis also the largest tree in the world. I was suitably impressed with it's grandeur. To think what this tree has lived through is amazing! I was obviously amazed by all the archelogical ruins that I saw in Mexico but none of them paled in comparison to this mighty tree.

Anyway, the same day that I went to visit El Tule I had another encounter with The Oaxacan Poet. He asked me if I wanted to buy another poem for 4 peso. At first I said no and told him one poem was more special but he told me if he had 4 peso he could buy some lollipops to sell and he offered me his guitar to play while he wrote it. After he'd finished he asked me if I wanted to help him sell the lollies. I had an hour to kill before Danny was out of his lesson so I thought why not? Wewent to huge market and I was pleased to see that even the locals have trouble getting their bearings. Then we went back up to the Zocalo and pounced on as many people we could. My part to play was smiling and waving the lollipops and telling people they were delicious in Spanish. I just knew I wouldn't escape the whole trip without working a little bit!

I arrived in Quito, Ecuador last night. I had a good sleep and all I've managed to do so far is have a cup of coffee and find this internet place. I feel groggy from the sleep disruption (and possibly the altitude isn't helping) so I think I might just take it easy today. Not sure I'll stay too long in Quito as I want to head to Baños soon for some nice relaxing thermal baths. Awww, poor me and the life I live!!

Lost Cameras and Old Trees

A few nights ago, after Danny and I had been to Monte Alban, we went for a few drinks. We'd been to the cheap mezcal bar first and then headed to the Zocalo for a quiet beer. A few nights ago we were at the same bar at Zocalo. I'd been to the toilet and when I came back one of the bar guys was chatting to Danny. Danny asked me if I'd left my camera there and I said no. The guy was nearly sure it was one of us and looked rather puzzled. It was nice of him to ask and he said it was nice of us to be so honest.

The next day I'd planned to go to El Tule. Looked about the hostel room for my camera. Ah Feck!!! It was my camera!!! It had been missing for 3 days and I hadn't even noticed. What a fecking knob end I am. I went back to the bar and it was the guy's day off. I went back today and he was there and so was my camera and he couldn't believe it had been nearly a week and I'd only just noticed. As he pointed out, what would I have done if he hadn't said about it? I'd have had no idea where I'd lost it or that I'd even lost it. I'm blaming the heat of the sun rather than the strength of the mezcal.

We made it to El Tule today but I'll blog about it tomorrow 'cos the excitement of it all was just too much. The attraction at El Tule is a massive tree (52 metres wide) that is the oldest living and flourishing object in the world. It. Was. Awesome. But I've a soft spot for trees 'cos I'm a bit of an oul' hippie. Anyway, more of that tomorrow and the Oaxacan poet.

A Different Kind Of Souvenir

One of the disadvantages of coming to a place like this (by a place like 'this' I mean somewhere that's high up on the tourist radar) is the fact that if you sit around trying to enjoy a relaxing coffee you are hounded by local people trying to sell you little trinkets and souvenirs. Though it's annoying I understand that these people are just trying to make a living. It's one thing saying no to the adults but it breaks my heart saying no to the endless streams of children, some as young as four, who should be playing, or sleeping or doing the things that children should be doing.

As well as this you have the beggars, some of them able-bodied but obviously very, very poor, many of them with severe physical disabilities who live in a culture where there is no infrastructure to provide then with the help and support they need. I can't help but feel like a mean person for constantly saying no but, for one, I have not come out here as a rich tourist, yes I am privelaged to have been able to afford a plane ticket and enough money that I don't have to work, but I also had to earn that privelage by working as many hours as I possibly could. Not only that but I can't buy too much because I'm carrying it all in my rucksack for the next few months. I have been discarding things rather than accumulating them.

I did, however, get an interesting offer from a couple of young musicians. I saw them walk by me at first. They ummed and aahed about whether or not to approach me and then one egged the other on. He said that he sold lollipops and poems but that he had no lollipops to sell. He offered to write me a poem in Sapnish, about whatever topic I chose, and he would translate it in Engliah for me. The part that swung it for me was I could pay however much or little as I wanted. He said he'd do it for 1 peso (about 5p) so I offered him 20 peso (about 1 pound). It was a much more interesting and personal offer than I'd had before. So I asked him to write a poem about a girl travelling alone. It also had to include something about a tree.

There and then he took out his notebook and pen and started to write. It took him about 10 minutes and when he'd finished he read it first in Spanish then translated it (loosely) into English. He'd obviously an idea about what I was looking for as the poem was a bout a girl who rejected the norms of society to to go on adventure to find out who she was. I know it's a bit cheesy but most poetry and it's topics are. I gave him the 20 peso and he gave me my poem. A piece of paper isn't going to weigh me down atall. More importantly, it's individual and unique to me. I have come away with a souvenir that's lightweight and hasn't been mass-produced like the endless streams of jewellery, hammocks and rugs.

La Isla De Las Muñecas

I've been trying to upload a photo of some of these creepy dolls on the Island Of Dolls but it's not happening for me. I've tried including a link as well but technology out here is very much like everything else, it may do it but it may be tomorrow. So all I can do is advise you to take a look yourself on google images. It will only give you an idea though of how creepy this Island actually is.

So the story is about a man who lost his daughter to the canals. He put up these dolls as a tribute to her. Over the years the dolls have become rotten and decayed and the island has an even more eerie feel to it. It's honestly like something you'd read in a Stephen King novel. Danny had joked when we were that possibly one of the dolls was an actual real baby. There were also a group of men sat round a table drinking whiskey and smokng. We were all offered a drink and we all turned it down. I have a feeling if we'd accepted a drink that would have been the start of our own personal horror movie.

I should have done this story much more justice by reading a few things about it but the computer I'm on has just had a virus alert so I'll try and post this and write more at a later date.

Amazing Oaxaca

Danny and I missed the 4;00 bus to Oaxaca so ended up getting an overnight bus. We arrived at 7 in the morning exhausted with no hostels open to book into and no cafes open to get coffee. It didn't matter though because Oaxaca is so lovely I was just pleased to be here.

We wandered round for a bit then found a cafe and hostel. I only let myself sleep for a few hours as I didn't want to be awake all night so when we got up we did a bit of exploring. We wanted to find a market but instead of picking one of the closer, more touristy markets we found ourselvs at the massive one. I was still tired and wantd some nice fresh mango to much on. Unfortunately the lady doused it with chilli powder and salsa. It wasn't exactly unpleasant but I just wanted the sweet goodness and not some strange sugar chilli mixture.

Anyway, this particular market is so huge that once we entered I had a horrible feeling we were never gonna find our way out again. After we did finally emerge, I'm ashamed to say that I just wanted to go back up to the peaceful, but touristy, Zocalo. I knew I was just too tired to deal with the crazy hustle bustle.

Yesterday we went to Monte Alban, which hosts some ancient ruins of the Zapotecs. This place was stunning although the bus journey up was a little hairy. Actually, the bus journey down was worse. But we survived. Today we're taking it relatively easy but we do plan to hit the markets properly today. Even the massive crazy one. Oh, and we're on a mission to find amazing ice cream and sorbets. My life is just one big chore!!!