If anyone was to ask me what I'd like for my birthday I'd ask for a clown. Or a jester. Or Bill Bailey. Anything to make me laugh. I remember a time in my life when laughter echoed all around. It's amazing how lonely and quiet it can seem without it.
I am a little frustrated at the minute. Kind of sick of Ballymena but realising that I am officially stuck here and I'm trying to make the most of my situation but it's not always easy. All my friends are scattered around the world and I long for their company. I am always trying to make new friends but people my age seem to think they don't need any more friends. I suppose it's because people my age settle down, have kids, get married, etc, etc.
When I lived with J I was constantly inviting people round for music making, or just for a few drinks. When I go to the pub I'm always the one saying to people that we should have more get togethers. No body seems to care that their social lives are average at best. Why settle for average. Everyday can be good if we let it. But I can't do it on my own.
I always had the best parties. That isn't me boasting it is merely the truth. Because my parties were always centred around everyone having fun, not just me. Right now I am excited about loiving by myself but I remember the flat I shared with my friend Romy when we were at uni. It was a happy flat that people always wanted to visit. I hope I have that again some day. But, in truth, my party days are nearly over or, at least, will have to go on hold 'til I figure out what it is I want out of life.
3 comments:
can't supply a clown (scary), jester (not the middle ages or whenever) or bill bailey (see previous). life takes surprising turns when you don't expect it. look at my weird old life!
have purchased walking boots, want to go wildlife scaring, eat as many varieties of fish as i can, see bruce yet again, see my daughters and grandaughters, not eat crustaceans (not sure about spelling there), you to come n visit us, blur to reform= oops,
they have. if you can't visit friends maybe they can visit you. you've got loads of friends. i have 3 two of them are scottish and alcoholics. othe other one is john mccoy. never really had proper friendsi'm sure zoe n dave will be happy with you being able to help. you can't do it on yuor own but you aint says me in norwich. come and see us.xxxxx
Had just worked a 13 hour shift. Spelling and punctuation went a little awry towards the end. xxxxx
I just feel very dull and 'woe is me' at the minute but still trying to focus on the positive things. Can't wait for you to see my new flat! Love you xxxx
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