It Sucks To Be Me

What IS the craic? I'm approaching my 26th birthday and my skin's worse than a 17 year old. I don't understand. I'm eating better than I've eaten in years. I'm dinking less than I've been known to drink at times. I'm not stressed atall so why the adolescent skin? Yes, I'm young at heart and have been known to act like a foolish teenager but is this the price I have to pay for clinging desperately to my youth? Apparently so. It sucks but even though zits are for losers I'd rather have bad skin than a mortgage. However, it doesn't change the fact that, not only do I have bad skin, I'm going to be a 26 year old with bad skin. As a wise woman once said It sucks to be you.

Long Beach All Dubstar Struck

The best gig I ever went to was in Stoke. The Long Beach All Dubstars featuring former memers of Sublime. I couldn't miss it because Sublime are my favourite band and I'd never got to see them due to the lead singer, Bradley Nowell's, untimely death. The gig was amazing. The band did a mixture of their own tunes and classic Sublime. I may as well have been at a Sublime gig as it was the closest I'd ever get.

After their peformance I accosted the lead singer on his way to the toilet. The venue was in a small night club so it was easy to get upclose and personal. Which was to be my downfall. I congratulated the singer on his sterling job. I then told him he sounded just like Bradley Nowell. He looked embarassed and mumbled that he could never be as good as Brad. I was all star struck and started babbling and tried to make excuses for my self by eventually saying But you were in Sublime! He must've thought I was the worst Sublime fan in the world because he said Actually I wasn't in Sublime. The bass player he was in Sublime. I didn't know what to say but luckily Gravy Dave walked past wearing an old skool Nirvana T. Shirt which the singer took a liking to and asked me if I thought Gravy Dave would sell it to him. Oh aye. But he didn't. 'Cos Gravy Dave's not fazed by rock stars.

So the moral of the story is, if you get star struck it's always good to know who the star is and, on the same note, it's always good to know who you're talking to before you actually talk to them.

Fecking Reader's Digest

At work today I was bored. I'd run out of jobs so I checked my email to make a bit of time go by. There was nothing new or exciting so I opened up an email sent by Reader's Digest offering Easter giveaways. Y'see, I'm exactly the sort of person they prey on. Bored, not really paying attention and so therefore dazzled by the pretty lights telling me I'll win thousands. It took all of 1 minute to submit my entry and when I went back to my email I'd already recived confirmatin from them. This is what it said:

Dear Miss Bowyer,

Thank you for sending for THE DRIVER'S TRAVEL ATLAS OF BRITAIN & IRELAND.

Your name has been entered in the draw for a Volkswagen Golf or £15,000 cash and we'll notify you immediately should you win. Your book will be dispatched shortly, along with your bill.

Thank you again for shopping with Reader's Digest.

Yours sincerely,
Reader's Digest Customer Service

What! I had no recollection of agreeing to buy their Driver's atlas of Britain and ireland. For one, I have no desire to travel Britain and Ireland but, most imprtantly, I don't even drive. I went back and did the whole thing again and sure enough there it was on the screen telling me that by entering the competition I was agreeing to buy their book. The dazzling images got me. Watch out for Reader's Digest, they are clever, very clever.

Free The Meecats

I don't think I've ever been so neglectful of my poor wee blog. What with my new found career in felling trees and my drunken activist ploys to rescue meercats and, of course, the wee scrabulous tournament, I just don't have the time to update. There are tales to tell but I think I might also be suffering from writer's block and I can't force myslf to write just for the sake of writing.

Perhaps I should get Paddy to take over as typist whilst I lay at my leisure on the sette, eating grapes and smoking. Maybe it would help the creativity to flow.

But just because I've lost the ability to write does not mean that I'm not happy. I'm currently taking great pleasure in watching my bank balance grow and dreaming about the endless possibilites of exotic advenures I could undertake. There's treasure out there y'know.