Next Please

When I started work at Next I tried to maintain a positive attitude towards it for as long as possible. Now after 7 weeks I can feel my brain turn to mush and my patience wearing so thin that if someone were to sneeze on it it would topple over. I hate consumers. I hate the way people turn into zombies, especally round this time of year. I don't think these people are stupid but I do think that when they enter the shops they leave their brains and their manners outside the door. I am sick of telling the customer that her card is in the wrong way and it goes in upsidedown from that and them taking it out and turning it back to front. How is a card any different from any other object?? When something needs to be turned upsidedown you do not turn it back to front. I don't know why it annoys me so much. Maybe it's because when it's a man and I tell him he always turns it upside down and I feel that these women are leting the side down. Anyway, I reckonl that if you don't know how to use your switch or visa card to pay then perhaps you shouldn't be using it at all and should just use good old fashioned cash.

Anyway, I am sick of cleaning up after the lazy hoors and I am sick of them asking me, 'What top would you put with that' I don't know I am not a fashion expert for children and it is your child your buying for surely you'd know a lot better than me. I even had one women ask me to find her something for a 2 year old. The women looked exhausted and just couldn't be bothered anymore. I thought it might be a bit rude to point out that she was asking me to find something for her which could take up to half an hour and they need me on the till because there's a queue the size of the river Nile so if she didn't mind being such an incompentent lazy cow and let me get on with my job, which is not as her personal slave. But I smiled and helped her.

And then there's the sales. The shop opens at 5 in the morning and people are already queueing to get in. The assistant manager advised me to watch the training video they have to prepare employees for the sales. She said she watched and even she was surprised so she definitely thought we should watch. I said no thanks it would probably put me off working during the sales. I have heard horror stories about people knocking you out of the way to get the bargains and when you come out of the stockroom to fill out the shelves the customers are grabbing things from your arms. I will seriously yell at anyone who does that to me because I can't stand my personal space being invaded. If they do that I will drop all the clothes on the ground and let the mad bitches scramble on the floor for them and laugh at their sad sad sad lives.

Having said all that, I can't wait for the sales to start. Not in Next but Topshop and HMV. I need new jeans and music and I will claw people's eyes to get them. Nah only joking. I shop responsibly and with brains and manners.