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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Dr. Smarty Pants

Yesterday I went to the doctors. I'm not even sure what these people do. I think they might just enjoy looking in your ears, poking your stomach and then telling you there's bugger all wrong with you and give you a prescription of smarties. Yes, I'm pretty sure that's all they do.

No, no, I know they are a bit more useful than that but, often that's how I feel after visiting them. Baring in mind, I'm 33 and I only go to the doctor when I absolutely have to. In the past this has mostly been to deal with depression. Same thing normally happens, they ask you a few questions "Do you feel that life is worth living?" which is pretty much a more sensitive way of asking "Would you like to top yourself?" and then they weigh you and tell you you're underweight and that diet and mood are directly linked and how are you meant to feel happy when your body has nothing to feel happy with. So they prescribe you some smarties to put on weight.

I'm being very unfair though. Some doctors are better than others and I have dealt with some very decent ones. The one yesterday didn't seem to take my sinus problem overly seriously though. I tried to point out to him exactly where I thought the tumour was growing in my frontal lobe and the swelling it was causing all down my eyes and nose (I think hypochondria runs in my family...I never actually mentioned anything about a tumour on my frontal lobe but if he had been a fit doctor to practice he would have noticed it straight away). So off he sent me with a nasal spray and some smarties. The tumor told me last night it would have preferred skittles but. seemingly, they are more expensive to produce.

Whilst I recognise that we are lucky to have any kind of system in place that provides us with free(ish) health care often I wonder would I not just be better taking the medicine that nature had already provided for us. Homeopathy all the way!

2 comments:

Rob Z Tobor said...

OOOoo sorry Miss Hannah I missed your post. . . . I think I was busy doing stuff. I try to avoid doctors and assume I must be fine because I am still moving and can remember who I am. Try to stay bright and chirpy and run and leap about, play music and teach Ziggy tricks and all will be well. OK I hope all will be well, But I think it will. Remember one day you will be 106 and will say to the doctor . . . I'm not well you know and I'm not eating any more of those nasal sprays. . . . Well its the sort of thing folk of 106 do. . . . I quite like them although they are a bit chewy.

take care.

hootchinhannah said...

Nasal spray and smarties seem to have lifted me a little so maybe the doctor sort of knew what he was doing. Though I still think skittles would have been a more suitable prescription. And a monthly massage. Not from the doctor but someone who was good at that kind of thing. I don't know if I would like to live to 106, I'm really not that fond of the nasal spray diet.