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Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Master Of My Destiny

I have my first proper class today for the Counselling course. Last night I was finishing off my homework. Each week we must write a report using reflective writing. This is something that should be easy for me as I have done so much reflective writing for my own personal reasons. I have learnt though that even if writing is a hobby it is always difficult writing something that you know will be read. This is why I struggle to upkeep my blog at times. The book that I accidentally wrote was the best writing I could ever do because when I started to write I was not writing for an audience. Or, at least, I was not holding back because of the fear of what other people would think of me.

I found it very therapeutic to write from my heart without the apprehension of being judged. Through my writing I found answers to questions I didn't even know I was asking. In writing I had found a release. By putting it down in black and white I could see all the shades of grey (and there are way more than 50). I finished the book without actually having achieved anythinhg other than a feeling of peace. I had made peace with myself. I had stopped hiding from myself. How could I deny my soul when it was laid bare before me?

For the homework we were asked to think about our reasons for doing this course. I believe that in order to live a happy life we must have healthy relationships with the people in it. One of the most important tools we have to achieve this is communication. We don't realise it but how we communicate with everyone has a direct effect on our well being. For example, if someone is having a bad day and they work in a shop they may give poor customer service. The person they served feels that they have been snubbed. It is nothing personal but all the same the interaction has made them feel bad. The next shop they go into they don't give the clerk a chance to make them feel bad the way the previous clerk did. So they put up a barrier. The second clerk tries their very best to be as helpful as possible but they feel that their efforts are futile. Why bother being courteous to someone who is clearly rude and ignorant? So this clerk goes home, feeling drained from smiling at people who don't appreciate them. They go home to their family and, just as someone has made them feel inadequate, they need to make someone else feel inadequate. They take it out on their family. These negative cycles go on and on.

I genuinely believe that not many people think too much about these 'little' things. Most people would regard them as insignificant. But how can we be expected to treat our nearest and dearest with respect and compassion if we can't do it for people we have a 3 minute interaction with? It may be naive for me to believe that a few positive shifts in our lives could make any real significant changes to our overall outlook but I am learning to celebrate my naiveity rather than quash it. I am starting to realise though that people will only change if they themselves want to. All I can do is focus on becoming as healthy a human being as I possibly can so that I do not contribute too much to the negativity.

So, the writing should be easy for me but then it wouldn't be much of a challenge and surely the whole point of learning a new skill is to challenge yourself intellectually. I have been working in the retail industry for too long now and it has made me lazy. Now it's time to get back into a world of opportunity and possibilites. And to realise that I am the master of my own destiny.


Rob Z Tobor said...

Never worry too much about what folk think of your writing. It is impossible to write for all so best to do the best you can for you.

I would never write my strange little blog if I worried about the opinion of the masses...

It is good to be master of your own destiny, but surprisingly few are so give it your best shot.....

hootchinhannah said...

I have been writing this blog for several years now and have always been holding something back. Sometimes I feel a bit silly writing from my heart but at the same time I feel empowered. Besides, I know that I need to get that kind of writing out of my system so I can do the kind of quirky, creative writing that I most enjoy. Your wee blog is an adventure and I'm all for embracing adventure in life. Here's to writing whatever the hell we want to write!