Big Dogs And Tiny Hoops

Right now I'm having to jump through a lot of hoops to get to where I want to be. I remember my younger cousin being the only one brave enough in his family to watch the birth of his little sister. When asked what he thought of it he likened it to a dog jumping through a hoop, only the dog was much bigger and the hoop was a lot smaller. I love the way kids have such a simple approach to life.

Anyway, one of my good qualities is that I find it impossible to tell a lie and one of my bad qualities is that I find it impossible to tell a lie. Upon purchasing a packet of cigarettes, many years ago when I was underage, I was asked if I had any ID. I did not have any ID. The shopkeeper then asked me if I was over 16. I said no. He laughed and sold me the cigarettes anyway for being such a good honest young lass. It is my inability to lie that has led to me having to jump through so many hoops. I struggle with getting a balance here on this blog. I want to be completely open and honest but I am learning that I can't be. It frustrates me because, ultimately, it is through being completely honest, not just with other people but with ourselves, that leads us to a contented life.

All I want to do is go to work and know that I have made someone's life a little better. The reason I go out to a job that gives me no real satisfaction is so that I can work towards leading a life that is going to fulfill me. I have many passions in life, music, photography, writing but my main passion is feeling connected with the world, including the people, animals and nature within it. I guess the other passions are just a way of channelling how I feel. I guess what I'm talking about really is the fact that I'm sick of sitting here feeling disconnected from the world (despite a good healthy internet connection).

Today was a productive day. I went to the doctor's first thing to jump through yet another hoop. I changed my doctor about 2 years ago. She is the most amazing warm and sunny person. She positively glows. She is always more than happy to help me, which is something you don't seem to get a lot of from doctors these days, which is ironic considering that's kind of a big part of their job description. I suppose doctor's, like the rest of society, have ran out of patience having to deal with morons and imbeciles on a daily basis.

Then I went up town to buy a new docking station for my ipod. I'd been without one for several weeks and it occurred to me that my quality of life was not as good without loud music and dancing in it. I also went looting for some treats for the treasure hunt. Then I came back home briefly to write out the clues and decorate them with stickers and then it was time for my first driving lesson in over a year. I picked a bad time for it just as all the kids were coming out of school and the traffic was dense. The main thing is I made a start again. I've got the ball rolling and though driving most definitely does not come naturally to me I just have to keep on ploughing on.