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Thursday, March 05, 2009

Growing Feet and Smelly Socks

Brrrrrr. I'm glad it's March but have we not endured enough winter weather? Woke up this morning to snow. Me and snow haven't really got on since I was the age of 7. I don't like wet and eventually snow, as pretty as it can be, turns to wet, making me wet. I think my friend Romy is the only one who understands how much I hate being wet. It makes being clean very difficult. Of course I am clean (mostly) but not liking being wet makes it harder for me to eenjoy the whole cleaning process.

Having said that the I don't really mind getting wet. It's when you get wet and then you get cold. Cold and wet. My two least favourite conditions. Sod's Law that I ended up being born in Ireland rather than Jamaica. I once met a Thai girl who loved Britian for it's coldness. Maybe the Stork got us mixed up.

Anyway, this is just rambling. A blog-filler. So I might as well tell you about my horrible customer yesterday. A fella in his mid 30's. Smelly. I asked if I could help him get a size in jeans. He told me 32 waist and 33 leg. This would make him the size of average Joe. I don't think his name was Joe though 'cos his waist was considerably bigger than 32 inches and he was a shortarse. And he smelt really really bad! But I'm not just mean and slagging off innocent customers. There's a reason for writing about him. He'd picked out a shoe and asked if I could get him the other one. I asked him what size and he said a 10. I got him the other shoe and he tried it on. I asked if they were ok and he said: I don't know, there's not a lot of room, you know, in case my feet might grow.

He was in his mid 30's, I'm pretty sure his feet had stopped growing. We didn't have the next size up so he didn't take the shoes because there wasn't a nig enough gap at the back. For his feet to grow. Maybe I'm being ignorant and there's some kind of ailment that makes your feet grow. If there is then I apologise to the dude. But I still reccommend that he goes home and takes a bath unless, of course, he's like me and doesn't like gtting wet.


Nelly said...

You mean you've not heard of Nelloski's Syndrome? It's this condition where people's hands and feet just keep slowly growing until they die. Other symptoms are excessive sweating and a morbid fear of water.

hootchinhannah said...

Holy fuck, I hope I don't have it! If my hands grow any bigger I won't be able to type anymore.

ps Mum, don't get too close to Fish Face Freddy, I saw him playing with a dead mouse this morning.

Nelly said...

He was playing with it last night too. His first kill! We should be very proud.

my word verification is punsigh.