Bert and Mum have been together for 22 years. I was 4 when they first started dating. My most vivid memory of Bert back then was him punching a hole in the bedroom wall when he had the misfortune of babysitting me. I must have been a complete, total brat (anyone who knows me well will vouch for this) as it takes a LOT to piss Bertie Boy off to the point where walls suffer.
Anyway, despite many more tantrums like that, having to share a house with 4 screaming, fighting women from Hell and years of having the Pee taken out of him, Bert is still around, and not only that, is going to make an honest woman out of me ma.
At first the idea of Bert and Mum getting married made me laugh out loud. Then when I came round to the idea I suggested to them that this could be THE party of the century. People would come flocking from all over the world to hear Bert and Nelly say 'I do'. But, sadly, they did not share the same enthusiam.
So a quiet affair has been arranged and I am the ring bearer (now are you really sure about that mum for I haven't had a good track record with rings just lately? - Perhaps there would be a safer job for me... like just being there).
Anyway, I must be getting excited because I've even ordered myself new jeans just for the occasion. And so while there is excitement in the air I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate Mr. Orr and Mrs Nearly Orr and hope that their 'big day' is everything they hope for.
Now I have to go and wipe the cheese from my brow.
7 comments:
I hope they're happy together fro another 22 years and that they day is a memorable one for all.
And after the next 22 years are up we get divorced and live happily ever aftr?
Nah, by that time you'll both be senile and you'll have forgotten you were ever even married!
Don't forget the pre-nupts and maybe 22 years is too long a time. Try a 7 year contract and if you're both happy renew it on a bi-monthly basis.
Pah - I wish I was @ home and maybe I could be the wedding driver. This would be fun. I'm excited about the marriage. I'll be thinking of you all on the day!
Mels. x x
Dave,If they're not happy it will be their own fault for rushing into things.
Mel, you would be the best ever wedding driver. For sure.
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