Unleashing The Beast Within

My wee blog has been going for quite some time now. I'm not sure how long. Four or five years maybe. And though I have gained much happiness from it, at times, I've also found it hard. A chore. Sometimes it just wasn't in me to be funny or interesting or happy. But I never wanted my blog to become a forum for complaining. Another reason why I've found it difficult to maintain my blog is because it's not anonymous. Everything I write about I have to consider the (few) people who read it. I have censored myself so many times.

The obvious answer to this is to go create another blog, never give away my true identity, and say whatever the goddamn fXXk I want to say. I have done this three times. Each and everytime I have been pipped at the first post. I create my account (bearing in my mind that I also have to create a new email account to totally diassociate myself from this blog) and I can never rememeber my username and password combo. The last time I did it I briefly thought about writing down all my usernames and passwords so I wouldn't forget but, like every other time, I convinced myself I couldn't possibly forget. I have the same problem with my online halifax account.

So, my point is, I'm tired of censoring myself. I don't exactly have a big audience so why not say whatever the fXXk I want. And if that means posting a bit of offbeat 'poetry' then so be it. I unleash the beast within:

Tuesday came and and the promise that I'd made was broke,
The strain was too much,
What little strength I had left has faded into nothing,
The flame that flickered was blown out by a gentle gust of wind,
My eyes are not tired,
My brain is not tired,
But, oh my god, my soul is so weary.

And when my body is tired I can lie down,
When my brain is tired I can sleep.
But sometimes there is no rest,
For my soul that silently weeps.