Michael Is Fragile

Jamie had me in stitches last night. I'd just got in from having a pint with one of the girls I work with. I don't know how long Jamie had been pondering for, possibly all day, but he asked me, in all seriousness, how was he going to meet Michael Jackson. We discussed the many ways he could meet him but then Jamie was worried that he might just sound like an idiot when he eventually does.

'I want him to take me seriously. I want to make a record with him' Jamie says.

'Well, go up to him and say I've always respected you as a musician, I'd be honoured to make some music with you'

'I know what to say to him but how do I get to him in the first place. He doesn't deal with adults he only likes kids. He's not a paedophile. He just likes kids better.'

'You know what you have to do then, adopt a kid to get closer to Michael.'

'I have to have a kid. You have to stop taking the pill.'

'OK, we'll have a baby and we'll call him Bait'

And at that we chuckled. Then I said what a good story for my blog this would make and Jamie tells me that I can't write it. Why not?

'What if Michael reads your blog, he'll be offended.'

I laughed my head off.

'As if Michael Jackson is going to be reading my blog Jamie'

'No but he might just stumle across it and then he'll never want to make a record with me'

'Ok let me do the story and if he reads it you can pretend you don't know me'

'Yeah but there's photos of me plastered all over your blog and Michael will be like there's that dick who's calling his child Bait so he can meet me.'

How I laughed. I laughed and laughed and told Jamie that I would tell the story and if he ever gets to meet Michael I'll delete the post.

'But he's fragile. How would you like it if I jepordized your plans to meet Courtney Love?'

'But I'm not desperate enough to meet Courtney Love'

'Michael's more fragile than Courtney Love'

'I think Courtney's more fragile'

Then we proceeded to argue over who was more fragile, Jackson or Love. Then Jamie pointed out that we were arguing over which of our idols was the weakest.

I says 'I liked this conversation better before you brought Courtney Love into it, when you sounded like the mental one and I sounded sane'

So if Michael and Jamie become chums I will delete this post. For Michael is a fragile soul and we can't be upsetting his chakras. As for Courtney Love. I have no great desires to meet her and if I do I won't be wanting to make any music with her. And she will not even care that my child is called Bait, after all her's is called Frances Bean.