First Aid For Eejits

Today was the first day of my First Aid training course. The verdict: If anyone needs any First Aid I'll remember to shout for help and phone an ambulance (apparently a lot of people do forget to do this), if you need put in the recovery position that's no bother and I'll check you for broken bones and make sure you don't choke on your puke, but if you've stopped breathing and need ressucitated you will probably die. I couldn't make the button click on the dummy when I was ressuctating it and have been advised by the course leader to eat my weetabix tomorrow morning. I'm gonna practice on Jamie when he gets in tonight.

The course isn't too bad. It's a break from work. I like being back in the classroom. I like being a student again. Although I relaise this time I actually have to take it seriously as it's people's lives we're learning to save. I just hope I'm never in a situation where I need to use it.

As always there's some total eejit that says something stupid and, as always, it's me who says it. We were given several letters. G C L I P S. We were told they were the 1st letter to several words that were all different types of blood-loss wounds. He gave us the answer to G (graze) and told us to figure out the rest. We worked in groups and each group got the same answers. We all got all but one right. We all thought C was for cut but when the guy said they were all kinds of cuts and what else could it be, I yelled out

'Castration'

'Sorry, what?' yer fella says.

'Castration' says I 'You know when your hand is cut off or something'

'You mean amputation Hannah?' he says with a smile.

'Aye that's what I mean.'

'Castration's something else Hannah but we'll chat about that later' he says, still smiling, everyone laughing.

'Aye but it's still a blood-loss wound' says I, going bright red.