Walk This Way

Mum is chuffed to bits with her new camera. I am chuffed to bits from inheriting Mums old camera. But while mum is excited about her new role as as short film producer, my role as a small time actor has done nothing but make me self concious about the way that I walk.

I have known for years that I have a silly walk. Someone once told me I walked like someone who had a hernia. What would I walk like then if I actually did have a hernia? It has been noted that i do not lift my feet properly and people at work can always tell when I am walking near by.

I just chose to ignore the fact that I had a silly walk. I could not see it so it did not bother me. But now there is video evidence and i can not ignore the gangly, akward, hen-toed walk. I am now making a conscious effort to walk with more style, more grace and less hen-toedness. It is tough though as walking is one of them things we do without even thinking about it. And the more you think about doing it the harder it actually is. I am giving mum instructions to avoid any video fooage of me walking, running, dancing or generally using my legs until I have perfcted my new walk. I am thinking of choosing one from Monty Pythons Ministry of Silly Walks. Its bound to be better than my own.

Dirt Bird: Poor In Money, Rich In Brains

Since Dirt Bird got back from Ballymena she's been living in poverty and surviving Ray Mears style. We were chatting about sending each other letters as it's a cheaper way to stay in contact and Dirt Bird had her outgoing calls blocked. So I asked her to text me her address and I would write to her.

'I can't text you, my phone won't let me', says Dirt Bird

'Oh aye'

'You send me a letter and I'll write one back with my address on it', says Dirt Bird, sounding chuffed with herself.

'Nah but that won't work Dirt Bird because I need your address before I can send you a letter'

'Oh yeah'

So we laughed and laughed at the sillyness of Dirt Bird.

The Big Issue

It's been so long since I signed into blogger that I forgot my username. It's been so long since I used a computer I've forgotten how to leave comments on people's blogs. I'm so confused by the new-fangledness of mum's laptop and my fingers are so big and alien that I keep typing the wrong letter.

I moved out of the house. Jamie went back to Stoke. The landlord is being a typical landlord and refusing to give us back our deposit. You live and you learn. Never do favours for your landlord. He'll shaft you anyway. Dirt Bird and Half-Term Kerm helped with the moving out. Half-Term kerm said he loved moving things but when it actually came to it he mostly sat on the sofa and watched. He is only a size 0 though and would fall over if you blew on him.

As always, it's nice being back at nellybert's. Spring is the best time of year for making changes and the countryside is the best place to be. I might go out and climb some trees with Holly.

I was telling Dirt Bird about a treasure hunt Pirate John organised. Me and jamie had planned to visit him in Manchester and Jamie told him he had to set me up a treasure hunt. Pirate John did really well considering he only had a few hours to prepare for it. We received or first clue by text message just as we go off the train. We had no idea what it meant so next thing is a Canadian treasure hunt fairy called Hank runs down the street pointing at a huge billboard. Behind the billboard was an envelope with a compass and our next clue. We followed the trail of clues around Manchester 'til we got one that said What's the big issue?

We looked about us and down the street a bit was a guy selling the Big Issue. So we asked him what the big issue was. He said he would tell us if we bought a copy off him and then he told us the name of a pub that was just round the corner. And in that pub was our treasure in the form of Pirate John and Hank and pints of beer.

I can honestly say it was one of the best days of my life. But that's 'cos I'm a simpleton who is easily amused with treasure hunts.