The People In My Life: Part 5

Gus and I have known each other for over 15 years. We knew all the same people but never really spent much time in each others company. Then we both lived away from Ireland at different times. But Gus was definitely someone that the universe wanted me to keep bumping into. From our random meet ups in the town I began to get to know him. I knew he was funny, kind, sensitive and friendly. Jakers, Gus and I used to do the music thing years ago but we were all much less experienced then. It was only last summer when I cajoled Gus into jamming once again that I really considered him to be a friend.

Of course, there's always that awkwardness around friendship when it's of the girl/boy variety. One of the things I most admired about Gus was that he wanted to be my boyfriend but didn't turn his nose up at friendship when that's all that was offered. He didn't give up on me as a person because I wasn't the person he wanted me to be. Indeed, all the times that I spent feeling lonely I did not ask the universe for a man, but a friend, a good friend that cared about me genuinely.

When we lived together briefly at the beginning of the year it was a fun time for me. This was really when I got to know Gus properly. We laughed, cooked together, debated life and listened to each other when we talked about the tough times. We shared our souls whilst being so silly and carefree at the same time. When Gus told me he was thinking of moving back home I felt sadness in my heart. I wasn't surprised at how I felt considering the never ending trial of flatmate problems but I acknowledged that it felt similar to a break-up in a way and I guess that made me realise that my feelings ran a little deeper than just friendship. Gus had been a proper friend to me and it was only right that I should be a proper friend to him so, when he asked me what I thought I should do I said nothing. I kept my silence because what I thought he should do was stay in the flat with me. I felt I could argue that it was for his benefit but when I was truthful with myself I realised I wanted him to stay because it made me feel better.

Things have a funny way of turning out. If Gus hadn't have moved back home I would never have been able to gain clarity about my feelings. By giving him space to listen to his heart a space was created for me to listen to my own. It told me that I was happy when gus was around. What more clarity did I need?

Gus might be the tallest, strongest guy (he won a strong man competition when he was a teenager, you know those things where they lift cars and pull them with their teeth) I have been with but he is the softest and gentlest inside. He is also the funniest and has an uncanny knack for remembering every single theme tune there ever was. He is like a juke box and I can demand any theme tune from 80's cartoons and adverts. He also knows big words despite not being much of a reader.

I look forward to this adventure with Gus, wherever it takes us and for however long. Life is so crazy and it's nice to have someone to laugh and share worries with. It's nice to have someone to climb trees and go brain jobby hunting with. It's nice to have someone to just be with. And when I see the way things have turned out I am so thankful for getting to know myself and trusting my decisons. My intiution led me into the arms of a real man with a real heart.