Dinner By Willy

Last night was a great wee night. I had a hot date with Jakers. We went for a romantic meal at Whetherspoons. Obviously Whetherspoons is the least romantic place to go for a meal but it's where I wanted to go because they serve interesting cider. After our bite to eat (which, unsurprisingly, was rank)we headed over to the Fairhill bar where there was a folk gig on for charity.

Jakers and I made a donation and were entered into a raffle. I said to him, "We're gonna win something, I know we are." And we did. We won a meal for two, cooked by a fella Willy, who is, apparently, an amazing chef. He sat down to discuss what we'd like on the menu. I said chicken and his face fell. Chicken wasn't exciting enough. When I said fish, his face lit up. We were told by others that we were in for a treat.

It would have been a great night even if we hadn't won anything but it was definitely the icing on the cake. And we have a delicious meal to look forward to. Though I'm not a big fan of fish so I hope he really is as amazing as everyone says.

Phantom Tooth Ache

Today I feel weird and a bit queasy. Yesterday I felt numb. But not too numb to not want Irish stew. I think I wanted Irish stew because it reminds me of my granny and I needed a bit of comfort. I have had an awful cold and I've had toothache where there are no teeth. I've heard of people getting phantom pains after a limb has been amputated. A quick google search lead me to the conclusion that the pain was referral from my sore, infected sinuses. Also, this morning, something slipped down the back of my throat and it felt kinda like a small chunk of my brain.

Today is the first day of my life. My new life. The one that will be good and happy and niiice. I have decided that and it's up to no one else but me. I may feel a bit weird and queasy but it's better than feeling numb.

When My Teeth Go Green

A few weeks ago I ordered some sweets off the internet. You might think this is a silly thing to do considering I can buy sweets in practically every shop I go to. But I'm 29, I've eaten a lot of sweets and I like to spice things up a bit by trying a few different things that can only acquired via the world wide web. The best bit was, by the time the sweets finally arrived, I'd forgotten what I'd ordered.

I got home this evening to find a note from the post man saying they'd tried to deliver a parcel but it was too big for the letterbox. They normally take it back down to the delivery office where you have to pick it up in person but this time the postman left it with our 'designated neighbour'. We don't have a designated neighbour and I was quite concerned that Mr. M. in 50A was chowing down on my sweets. He didn't though. He called round with the parcel earlier and I opened up, literally, a box of delights. Like I say, I'd totally forgotten what I'd ordered. So now I have a big box of sweets consisting of; red and black beaded berries, rose and lemon turkish delight, raspberry flavoured vampire teeth (a personal favourite), violet bud boiled sweets, banana and mango boiled sweets and a bag of strawberry flavoured tongues. It's all about appreciating the small things in life.....and having enough money in the bank to pay the dentist when my teeth go green.

Our First Date

I was off on Monday and had energy for nothing. It wasn't even like I'd had a wild weekend and was still suffering. I just felt really lethargic. So on Tuesday I went to work heavy headed and dreading the extra 3 hours voluntary work that I had in the evening. It ended up being great though. I had acupuncture for the first time and it was bliss. It helped that I was relaxing on a massaging chair as well. So I slept like a baby on tuesday night. On Wednesday evening I went to a spin class. This involves 45 minutes on an excercise bike pedalling like a maniac. It's pretty hardcore at the time but I felt really good after.

Tonight Jakers was teaching me how to box. I enjoyed that too but then he decided he was gonna put me through my paces with a few press ups and squats. He pushed me til I could take no more which I knew he would and that's why I never agree to ecercise with him. We went out for dinner at the weekend and it was, pretty much, our first date. We've never been out for a meal as a couple. We went out to the new Indian restaurant and our waitress had just started that night. She was sweet and I'm not really used to tipping but we left her one so that the boss knew she was doing a good job.

My Eyes Are Dull

Hahahah this made me laugh a lot. I was thinking that my eyes aren't as bright an twinkly looking as they should be so I typed "my eyes are dull" into google thinking it would lead me to some health food sites telling me which vitamins are good for sparkly eyes. Instead I found this. Seemingly Catholics all round the world are right and masturbation is bad for you.

Rat Bite Fever

This whole week I've been unable to finish anything that I've started to write. I've just deleted a post about Pepe biting me this morning. But then I realised that all I really needed to say was; Pepe broke out, I tried to catch her, she bit me pretty badly, I was cross but now I feel sorry for her. There was also the email that never got sent and the letter I wrote to my friend that I gave up on. I will write to my friend but I'll start a new letter. And I will send that email, when the time is right.

Today was a mixture of loveliness, annoyance (rat bite), physical activity, and paranoia (will I get rat bite fever?). I had a lovely time with Miss Martha pushing her about in her car and looking through the box of farm animal figurines. There's a figurine of a woman in dungarees carrying a bucket of eggs who Martha liked to call 'Mummy' and there's another woman, dressed in a blue mini skirt and knee high black boots and she was, naturally, christened 'Ha'. God knows why though because Martha has never, and will never, see me dressed in a blue mini skirt and knee high black boots.

Big Guns

Rocky Minding Pepe, a photo by hootchinhannah on Flickr.

Between the heavy presence of police out to deal with the bomb scare on Wednesday, and the meeting of a seriously massive body builder you could say that I've seen a lot of big guns this week.

There's Rocky minding Pepe there and he too, like his namesake, has big guns. Though they're mostly fatty guns as opposed to muscly guns. I was looking online to see if I can get them harnesses and leads. Jakers doesn't approve though as the only decent ones we can find are pink and there's no way he's dressing his boy rat in pink. Says it's bad enough he's got no balls.

Perhaps I Should Have Mentioned....

I really am a bit of an eejit. I've applied for a new job in the caring profession, working with kids, and I clean forgot to mention on the form that I do voluntary work, with kids. I'm really quite annoyed with myself as, after all, one of the main reasons for volunteering was to help me get a job more suited to what I've studied. Anyway, that aside, I wasn't holding out for the job. I know the score by now. Quite often they already have someone lined up for the job but they have to go through all the necessary procedures. What will be will be and at least I like the job I'm in already.

Today was a good day in work. No bomb scares (yesterday we were evacuated for nearly 2 hours because of a hoax call) which is always a plus, though we did have a biker guy ask if he could leave his jacket and helmet in the shop for 10 minutes, which, really we probably shouldn't have. But we'd also just taken his photo for a passport so we figured he wouldn't be leaving any bombs as we had photographic evidence of what he looked like.

Also, two of my favouritist customers were in and one brought me maltesers (cos she knows they're my favourite), and the other brought in her big body builder son who, apparently, I was flirting with. I don't even like muscly men.

Robbed

I just woke up about 10 minutes ago and went about my usual morning buisness; took the lid off the rats tank, replaced their bowls with fresh water and food, made coffee, sat down for a smoke, truned the lapton on, checked emails. Then I looked at the time. 14:58. How in the hell did I manae to sleep 'til that time? That's 15 hours sleep! My one day off this weekend was spent sleeping. I feel robbed!

Because I'm Worth It

Today was lovely. I woke up early and surfed the net and drank coffee. I had a bath and drank more coffee. Then I went to town and bought myself expensive face cream. L'Oreal: Because I'm worth it.

I bought Jakers lunch and took it into his work. His lunch consisted of a burger in a pastie and a pink iced bun. I went home. I surfed the net and drank tea. I prepared a batter mix for Staffordshire oatcakes. I left it to sit. I washed dishes and cleaned floors.

Mum called and we went for coffee. I had a cinnamon and apple scone. I came home. I kissed Jakers and cooked up my oatcakes. I wasted about a third of my batter mix before I came anywhere close to getting something that resembled an oatcake. By the time I had finished I had perfected the technique. I left the oatcakes to cool. I kissed Jakers and headed out to my voluntary work.

Some of the kids wanted to do music and were disappointed I hadn't brought guitars. I called Jakers and asked him if he would meet me halfway with the guitars. Boys got guitars and were happy. A somewhat productive music session occurred.

Got home at 9. Positive reports on the oatcakes. Tried some myself and was pretty chuffed that they tasted like they were meant to. Promised Nelly I'd throw some her way but, since I ruined half the mix and discovered that Jakers is a big fan of the Stafforshire oatake, I might have to make her wait 'til the next batch is made.

Dog Frisbee

When I go back home to visit Nellybert Judy Dog is always super pleased to see me. She loves me y'see. Though she is a bit of a floozie and a tart as she has a major soft spot for Young Loveheart aswell. According to Bert it would 'sicken ye' the love and adoration Judy bestows upon Young Loveheart when he's visiting. A few weeks ago I was informed by mum and Bert that, should they both be kllled in a freak accident, Judy would go to ilve with Loveheart. Well. I. Never!

The rage! The pure shock and disgust I felt at learnng that I would not be Judy's next of kin. Over my dead body says I. So last week was the first time that myself, Young Loveheart and Judy were in the same room. He called Judy over. She ran to him like a big wet blanket and cuddled into his chest. Wee bitch. So I called her over. She ran to me without even so much as a backward glance at Loveheart. Score! She's my dog, she loves me. She loved me dearly until she was called away again to cuddle with the enemy. We played dog frisbee for a while until even my sister Katy said that Judy should go live with Loveheart. Betrayed by my own flesh and blood. Not once, not twice but thrice.

I threatened to take Loveheart to court over the custody of Judy and he promised me I could have visiting rights. But this is just all wrong. I was living at home when Judy was a tiny pup. I cuddled her, sang to her, bought her dog toys and nurtured her. And I bet she has never even licked Loveheart's toes. She's licked mine.

How Can That Be?

It's not often that me and Jakers have intellectual conversations but this is one we had the other day. It started with me reading his t.shirt that he got for taking part in the marathon. It read: The Belfast Marathon's 30th Year 1982-2011.

Me: How can it it be the Belfast Marathon's 30th Year?

Jakes: I know, i thought that?

Me: Because it's 1982-2011, that can't be 30 years.

Jakes: I know.

Me: Because we were born in 1982 and we're not 30 'til next year?

Jakes: I know, that's what I thought.

Me: And for it to be 30 years it would have to end in an even number and 2011 is an
odd number.

Jakes: I know.

Me: And it would have to end in the number 2!

Jakes: I know.

Then I proceeded to count (on my fingers) from 1982 to 2011 and, sure enough, it was 30 years. This fries my head a wee bit.

But anyway, the point of this story is to congratulate Jakers in his participation of this year's (the 30th year) Belfast marathon. Well done baby! He had sore knees but the rats kissed them better.

When You're Washing Up

This is an excerpt from Paulo Coelho's The Witch Of Portobello:

"When you're washing up, pray. be thankful there are plates to be washed; that means there was food, that you fed someone, that you've lavished care on one or more people, that you cooked and laid the table. Imagine the millions of people at this moment who have absolutely nothing to wash up and no one for whom to lay the table"

Lost

Usually, I'm not too bad at expressing my emotions through words but, now, I just can't seem to find the right ones. All I know is that I feel sad and however sad I feel I know that this must be ten fold for my mum and her brothers and sisters.

Happy Easter

By pure sheer luck I managed to be off work for five full days. Feeling the itch in my feet I decided to take myself down to Derry for a night. I was gonna go by myself, stay in a hostel, walk around, read my book and drink coffee. But there are two absolutely amazing people in Derry, Magda and Steve, who I met at university and hadn't seen in years. I dcided to give them a shout in case they fancied meeting. Then I realsied that Dirt Bird was home for Easter so she came along too and we had a lovely, lovely time. But it was more than just a lovely time for me. It was healing for my soul. If I spend too long without some kind of adventure I feel restless and discontent. I used to think that I had to travel half way round the world to settle this urge but I've realised that even just gettig out of Ballymena helps.

We met Magda and a few of her other friends and went to Sandino's where we were entertained by an eclectic mix of live music. We then headed back to Magda and Steve's where we were fed mojito's and pizza. The next day we had a lovely breakfast in their garden, a stroll along the beach and yummy icecream at a traditonal cafe. We were very well looked after.

Last night I was at my mate's birthday party. It was a fun night playing drinking games and being silly. Today I could really do with a mint frappe (my new favourite hangover cure) but I'm going to have to settle for juice and doughnuts. Oh well.

Ha Boot Da Ha

If my niece knew what a birthday was this is probably what she'd say to me. And though she's not quite old enough to be aware of birthdays she still made me a lovely birthday card and came round to visit me. She brought her mummy and her two dogs with her. I made tea for the adults, Martha got a wee taste of mint milkshake and the poor dogs had to settle for a few rat kibbles.

After being at the zoo yesterday you'd have thought that the rats would have been boring to Martha but not atall. She thought they were great. And you'd have thought the rats would have been nervous with two dogs around but they are far too cocky to be scared. In fact, Maya was much more scared of the rats than they were of her.

Flat Warming and Rat Warming

It feels like such a long time ago that I had anything of any real worth to write about. In a way it's a good thing. My time is occupied doing stuff, rather than writing stuff. The stuff that i do isn't so exciting that I feel the need to write about it. I go to work. Work is fine. For the first time in a long time I'm happy in my job. I volunteer once a week at a youth club. Sometimes it feels like there's not much point me being there but a lot of the time I feel I'm doing something worthwhile. I encourage some of the lads to make cards and last week I brought the guitars down for them. Sometimes I just play pool or chat with them.

I get to see my darling niece on a regular basis which I could write about at great length but I am aware that, whilst this is great for me and my family, it's not great reading for people who don't know me. It's an utter delight though to see her smiling at me, or hear her giggling when we play peekaboo.

There's also the rats of course, which are another endless source of delight. Rocky is getting fatter and fatter. Pepe's definitely not pregnant but she's earning herself the reputation of being the naughty one. We talk about the rats so much that mum says she dreads to think what we'll be like if we have kids.

It's my birthday this friday so I'm having a party to combine our flatwarming ratwarming and my last year of being a twentysomething. So that's my life at the minute in a nutshell. I'm happy and content but lacking in a bit of inspiration But if that's the least of my worries I'm doing alright really.

Bad REaction

I do love my darling ratscals but, unfortunately, I've discovered that I'm allergic to them. This is what happens when their wee tiny clws even so much as slightly scrape my skin. My skin burns for about ten minutes then these huge itchy blotches appear. I've never reacted to anything quite so violently. Thankfully it settles down after half an hour and just leaves me with a bit of an itch. And this happened as a result of Pepe climbing up and down my back so I'll just have to avoid that in the future or wear thicker clothes.

Dead Cat Or Sleeping Cat?

I was saying yesterday that it would have been the perfect day if I didn't have a dentist appointment. Well, it ended up being pretty perfect after all. The dentist said it was a superficial filling and I could chance it without having my mouth froze. This meant the rest of the evening wasn't ruined by numb gums,

When I got back Jakers and I decided to go for a walk to make the most of the nice evening. We dandered up through the park to Sentry Hill where I spent a good few of my teenage years drinking cider and hooch. We realised that when we were kids we lived round the corner from each other. It's so strange to grow up in a town like this and never have ran into each other before we were 25. Just before we were leaving I asked if we could go to the clearing where we used to hang out. It's obviously not a popular hangout spot anymore as it's totally overgrown. Then I saw something and I asked Jakers "Is that a sleeping cat or a dead cat?". As it turns out it was neither, it was a teenage fox cub enjoying a siesta in the sun. It stirred slightly and we stood and enjoyed the moment for a while before letting it dream of cunning ploys to catch chickens. It maybe wasn't quite as magical as when I stumbled upon Freddy's encounter with a fox but it definitely made it a perfect day.

A Nearly Perfect Day

Every morning I wake up and look into the rats tank and check they're ok. This past few mornings I've noticed that they're food bowl is upturned. The food's always lying scattered about so they don't do it as a protest for more food. I think it's much more likely that they're trying to suss out a way that they can use they're bowl to escape.

They've been very lazy ratscals today but right now Rocky is giving Pepe's ears a thorough grooming. Pepe is still a bit nervous when we take them out. Rocky gets more and more confident by the day. Balls? Ha, who needs them? We are discovering that sliced ham is definitely one of their favourite treats. They prefer red grapes to green ones and they don't seem to like the special chocolate drops we got them.

Today has been, without a doubt, the nicest, warmest, sunniest day of the year. Let's hope it's not the last either. I met Zoe and Martha in the park and gave Zoe back some books that I'd borrowed about 4 years ago! At the minute I'm reading The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho.

Now I have to go to the dentist and get a nasher filled. Could have been a perfect day if it wasn't for that.