This is day five of no sugar. That is, no sugar in the form of sweets, chocolate, biscuits or desserts. I allow myself yoghurts and maple and pecan granola and fruit. It hasn't even been that difficult. I've had a couple of dreams of eating chocolates but in the dream I am disappointed in myself. I don't wake up in the morning disappointed that I have no sweets.
Yesterday Jakers and I headed out to Nellybert's for a little woodwork project. Last week I called into an old fashioned DIY type store in town. I thought it was Herbison's but that is the shop on the opposite side of the street (long closed now and nobody seems to remember what kind of shop it was). I called in on the offchance that he might sell bits of wood. Apparently not, and apparently I was a total eejit for even thinking so. He said to try a timber yard or B&Q both of which I scoffed at being no use. He then reached up to a shelf where one lonely, dusty box sat. It was some form of wooden shelves. It was no use but I noticed the many tubs of rat killer on the shelf below. I laughed and told the shopkeeper I wanted the wood for my rat cage. I was just about to leave when he went out the back and came out with a plank of wood.
'Would that be of any use to you' Says he.
'Oh aye, that would do the job alright. What will you take for it? Says I.
'Och, a pound will do' Says He.
'A pound? Sure take two for it.' Says I.
'Oh no, no, a pound will do.'
And with that I marched up the street with my plank of wood under my arm.
When I got home I showed it to Jakers. He asked me how much it cost and I told him, proudly, that it only cost a pound. Jakers was disgusted. I was ripped off. I paid a pound for an old dusty shelf that had fallen off the wall. And it was riddled with woodworm.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Farewell Sweet Friend
After many years of abusing my body with various things I have decided that it is time to give up one of my worst vices. You would think that smoking would be the obvious choice, and it will happen some day, but for now I plan to rid the evil sugar demon from my blood. Some people might be surprised to learn that sugar is just as hard to kick as heroin. Only joking, but it is as hard to kick as nicotine.
When you're addicted to sugar you never feel thirsty. I've often worried that my poor brain is dehydrated. I don't feel stupid or anything but it can't be good for me never being thirsty. Even when I'm in hot countries.
So last night I decided that me and sugar were not a good combination. If I merely had a 'sweet tooth' it would be ok but, unfortunately, I'm going to have to be an 'all or nothing' kinda girl when it comes to sweets. It's gonna be hard. Really hard. I'm the girl who dreams about sweets then wakes up disappointed because I have none, the girl who trawls around restaurants asking them if they will serve me dessert only, the girl who orders sweets online, I was going to be the auntie who let her niece try all the best sweets. Sweets and sugar have been such a massive part of my life for so many years. How will I ever cope? I also feel bad that I got Jakers hooked on the stuff. And him a purist who doesn't drink booze and only eats his dinner from Marks and Spencers.
When you're addicted to sugar you never feel thirsty. I've often worried that my poor brain is dehydrated. I don't feel stupid or anything but it can't be good for me never being thirsty. Even when I'm in hot countries.
So last night I decided that me and sugar were not a good combination. If I merely had a 'sweet tooth' it would be ok but, unfortunately, I'm going to have to be an 'all or nothing' kinda girl when it comes to sweets. It's gonna be hard. Really hard. I'm the girl who dreams about sweets then wakes up disappointed because I have none, the girl who trawls around restaurants asking them if they will serve me dessert only, the girl who orders sweets online, I was going to be the auntie who let her niece try all the best sweets. Sweets and sugar have been such a massive part of my life for so many years. How will I ever cope? I also feel bad that I got Jakers hooked on the stuff. And him a purist who doesn't drink booze and only eats his dinner from Marks and Spencers.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Why It's Rude To Point
Oh, the perils of working with the general public! Picture the scene: A lady is sitting at one of our computers in work, picking some photos she would like printed. A man is at the other computer picking out a picture of his dog to put on a mousemat. The lady is sat at the computer with her back to the display wall. Behind her is a picture of Judy when she was a pup. The man decided on his picture and I took his details. As he was leaving I commented on what a lovely dog he had and pointed at the wall whilst asking "Would you like to breed your dog with that girl there?" But to the woman sat at the computer, who didn't know there was a piture of a dog behind her, it looked as if I was pointing at her. Fortunately everyone found it funny.
It was Jakers birthday on Friday. We were meant to go for a Birthday lunch but I slept in 'til 3 O'Clock so we went for dinner instead. During our meal we discussed, at length, how they had made the walls in the restaurant, where to find a sheep herding mongolian breeder (this is an ongoing private joke, which I am pretty sure no one else would understand) and we also pretended we didn't know each other and made up ridiculous answers to the standard first date questions. I think I enjoyed the banter ust as much as the food.
On Saturday morning I woke up ridiculously early, (apperently adults can't oversleep without paying for it the next night) but had a lovely day perusing the town and losing at bowling. Saturday night we rocked up at the Dreen Road for Jakers' Birthday celebrations. It was a bit of a sausage fest, as Bert so charmingly put it, but it was a great wee night with much guitar playing, singing and merriment. Dougie found it particularly good fun to accompany the dogs in some good ol' fashioned barking.
I then woke up on Sunday afternoon at 3 O'Clock (perhaps I am still a teenager after all). After a lovely week off I relished the last few hours of Sunday lying around being lazy. And now that summer is over I'm back to working 4 days a week. The difference in my pay is barely even noticeable and the extra day off a week is much more useful. So when I woke up this morning with a small groan I reminded myself that I only had to work 2 days and then I had another 2 days off. Woo to the Hoo!
It was Jakers birthday on Friday. We were meant to go for a Birthday lunch but I slept in 'til 3 O'Clock so we went for dinner instead. During our meal we discussed, at length, how they had made the walls in the restaurant, where to find a sheep herding mongolian breeder (this is an ongoing private joke, which I am pretty sure no one else would understand) and we also pretended we didn't know each other and made up ridiculous answers to the standard first date questions. I think I enjoyed the banter ust as much as the food.
On Saturday morning I woke up ridiculously early, (apperently adults can't oversleep without paying for it the next night) but had a lovely day perusing the town and losing at bowling. Saturday night we rocked up at the Dreen Road for Jakers' Birthday celebrations. It was a bit of a sausage fest, as Bert so charmingly put it, but it was a great wee night with much guitar playing, singing and merriment. Dougie found it particularly good fun to accompany the dogs in some good ol' fashioned barking.
I then woke up on Sunday afternoon at 3 O'Clock (perhaps I am still a teenager after all). After a lovely week off I relished the last few hours of Sunday lying around being lazy. And now that summer is over I'm back to working 4 days a week. The difference in my pay is barely even noticeable and the extra day off a week is much more useful. So when I woke up this morning with a small groan I reminded myself that I only had to work 2 days and then I had another 2 days off. Woo to the Hoo!
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Making People Smile
Today I feel great. And not just because I'm off on holiday again. The reason I feel great is because I did something that made at least 3 people happy. When mum and I were clearing out the attic I came across a lot of old negatives. I called into work early on several mornings to scan and print them. The photos were of Bert, his mum and dad and extended family.
A lot of the photos featured a young Bert between the ages of 0-12. He seemed to have a grand old time on his farm with the hens and goats and tractor rides. They were very sweet photos. Very natural and wholesome which is something that is almost lost in today's modern photography (teenagers posing with tongues sticking out and 'Jordan pouts'). Amongst some of my favourites were Bert on his little trike, on which Pearlie had stuck on an 'L' Plate, Bert on his rocking horse, Bert and his father on the tractor, Bert hugging a hen in the lawn, Pearlie and Johnny sitting in the stacks of hay while a baby Bert played with the dog, Bert and the dog in the boot of the car. I could go on but there is just too many. The dog, although it wasn't always the same dog, featured in nearly all of the photographs. It is no wonder Bert is such a big fan.
There was a particularly lovely one with Bert in the arms of his father at the seaside. Bert is probably not even a year old and he's clutching onto his dad's tie. I got this one blown up and framed for Bert. I remember Johnny well. I, too, used to go for rides in the tractor with him. He was a kind, gentle man. Just like Bert.
I stayed at mum's last night and sat in with Pearlie while we looked at all the photos together and she told me who everyone else was. Her memory is as sharp as a tack. It was a nice way to spend time with her. And it also pleased me to know that she would get great pleasure going through them with her niece and her sister.
Work has been pretty tough lately with one thing and another but getting those negatives scanned has made me realise that the job I do makes a lot of people very happy. Selling photos is a buisness and there will always be buisness politics but I know that the people who leave our shop and show their photos to everyone are spreading much more happiness than the shops who are selling clothes. I'm sure you've never bought a pair of jeans that has put a smile on anyone else's face but your own.
A lot of the photos featured a young Bert between the ages of 0-12. He seemed to have a grand old time on his farm with the hens and goats and tractor rides. They were very sweet photos. Very natural and wholesome which is something that is almost lost in today's modern photography (teenagers posing with tongues sticking out and 'Jordan pouts'). Amongst some of my favourites were Bert on his little trike, on which Pearlie had stuck on an 'L' Plate, Bert on his rocking horse, Bert and his father on the tractor, Bert hugging a hen in the lawn, Pearlie and Johnny sitting in the stacks of hay while a baby Bert played with the dog, Bert and the dog in the boot of the car. I could go on but there is just too many. The dog, although it wasn't always the same dog, featured in nearly all of the photographs. It is no wonder Bert is such a big fan.
There was a particularly lovely one with Bert in the arms of his father at the seaside. Bert is probably not even a year old and he's clutching onto his dad's tie. I got this one blown up and framed for Bert. I remember Johnny well. I, too, used to go for rides in the tractor with him. He was a kind, gentle man. Just like Bert.
I stayed at mum's last night and sat in with Pearlie while we looked at all the photos together and she told me who everyone else was. Her memory is as sharp as a tack. It was a nice way to spend time with her. And it also pleased me to know that she would get great pleasure going through them with her niece and her sister.
Work has been pretty tough lately with one thing and another but getting those negatives scanned has made me realise that the job I do makes a lot of people very happy. Selling photos is a buisness and there will always be buisness politics but I know that the people who leave our shop and show their photos to everyone are spreading much more happiness than the shops who are selling clothes. I'm sure you've never bought a pair of jeans that has put a smile on anyone else's face but your own.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Unleashing The Beast Within
My wee blog has been going for quite some time now. I'm not sure how long. Four or five years maybe. And though I have gained much happiness from it, at times, I've also found it hard. A chore. Sometimes it just wasn't in me to be funny or interesting or happy. But I never wanted my blog to become a forum for complaining. Another reason why I've found it difficult to maintain my blog is because it's not anonymous. Everything I write about I have to consider the (few) people who read it. I have censored myself so many times.
The obvious answer to this is to go create another blog, never give away my true identity, and say whatever the goddamn fXXk I want to say. I have done this three times. Each and everytime I have been pipped at the first post. I create my account (bearing in my mind that I also have to create a new email account to totally diassociate myself from this blog) and I can never rememeber my username and password combo. The last time I did it I briefly thought about writing down all my usernames and passwords so I wouldn't forget but, like every other time, I convinced myself I couldn't possibly forget. I have the same problem with my online halifax account.
So, my point is, I'm tired of censoring myself. I don't exactly have a big audience so why not say whatever the fXXk I want. And if that means posting a bit of offbeat 'poetry' then so be it. I unleash the beast within:
Tuesday came and and the promise that I'd made was broke,
The strain was too much,
What little strength I had left has faded into nothing,
The flame that flickered was blown out by a gentle gust of wind,
My eyes are not tired,
My brain is not tired,
But, oh my god, my soul is so weary.
And when my body is tired I can lie down,
When my brain is tired I can sleep.
But sometimes there is no rest,
For my soul that silently weeps.
The obvious answer to this is to go create another blog, never give away my true identity, and say whatever the goddamn fXXk I want to say. I have done this three times. Each and everytime I have been pipped at the first post. I create my account (bearing in my mind that I also have to create a new email account to totally diassociate myself from this blog) and I can never rememeber my username and password combo. The last time I did it I briefly thought about writing down all my usernames and passwords so I wouldn't forget but, like every other time, I convinced myself I couldn't possibly forget. I have the same problem with my online halifax account.
So, my point is, I'm tired of censoring myself. I don't exactly have a big audience so why not say whatever the fXXk I want. And if that means posting a bit of offbeat 'poetry' then so be it. I unleash the beast within:
Tuesday came and and the promise that I'd made was broke,
The strain was too much,
What little strength I had left has faded into nothing,
The flame that flickered was blown out by a gentle gust of wind,
My eyes are not tired,
My brain is not tired,
But, oh my god, my soul is so weary.
And when my body is tired I can lie down,
When my brain is tired I can sleep.
But sometimes there is no rest,
For my soul that silently weeps.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Cruising
Those of you who read my mum's blog will have already heard all about our escapades on Tuesday evening. There were, however, a few parts that she "forgot" to mention. Like the part where she nearly had to be admitted to Hollywell with the onset of early dementia. The reason for mum ending up in such a heightened state of craziness was because she could not get her carload of extras to the right Joe Bloggs' Farm. Though mum was not playing an extra she could have stole the centre stage with her dramatics.
When we finally found our location we had the best fun, literally, rolling around in the hay. We were working with Maggie Young on her music video 52 Acres of Barley. Me and Jakers had to play young lovers so there wasn't much acting on our part really. Except for trying to get away with looking like teenagers. My friend Pepe was playing Maggie's lover and he had the pleasure of being covered in lipstick and getting his top off. It was great fun and a pleasure to be a part of it. I'm still siinging the song in my head.
On Wednesday I helped mum with a bit of soul cleansing. She was well overdue a clutter clearout and she was lacking the vital skills which makes a clutter clearout successful. The vital skills basically consist of being a ruthless, heartless bitch. Neither mum or I trusted each other in the attic alone. Mum was trying to sneak useless 'toot' by me for keeping. I was trying to sneak useless 'toot' in the chaity box without her noticing. We were both caught out eentually. But at least there were no actual fights. And though it wasn't even my stuff or my house I enjoyed it immensely because I knew how good it would make mum feel to let go of a lot of materialistic baggage.
Yesterday evening Jakers had his little girl up. She'd brought her friend around and they amused themselves with Moshi Monsters on the laptop. I brought out the flatpacked coffee table that mum had bought from Ikea several weeks ago and decided she didn't want anymore even before it was out of the packet. I took it off her hands as we lack a coffee table and they are actually pretty useful. As soon as the girls seen me taking it out they were down on the floor with me helping me to put the legs on. And later, when I sat down to do some of my glow in the dark jigsaw, they sat down to help me with that. It just goes to show that kids will entertain themselves with TV and computers but, maybe, given the choice, they'd prefer to do something more practical.
So now it's Friday evening and I managed to squeeze in a bit of time to clean my flat properly so I'm sitting here relaxing and feeling pretty chufed with myself. It's been a great week and I still have two more sleep in's but, even better than that, today I had a driving lesson and I actually drove on real roads through the outskirts of the town and home again. I was so pleased with myself that my instrutor couldn't help being excited for me. As I was thanking him he said "You know, us instructors enjoy it too". And I was by no means a perfect driver but I was still driving, And not only that, I'm finally doing something that I had put off for so long. It was like a big box that hung over my head, waiting to be ticked. I am already planning the most epic of road trips :)
When we finally found our location we had the best fun, literally, rolling around in the hay. We were working with Maggie Young on her music video 52 Acres of Barley. Me and Jakers had to play young lovers so there wasn't much acting on our part really. Except for trying to get away with looking like teenagers. My friend Pepe was playing Maggie's lover and he had the pleasure of being covered in lipstick and getting his top off. It was great fun and a pleasure to be a part of it. I'm still siinging the song in my head.
On Wednesday I helped mum with a bit of soul cleansing. She was well overdue a clutter clearout and she was lacking the vital skills which makes a clutter clearout successful. The vital skills basically consist of being a ruthless, heartless bitch. Neither mum or I trusted each other in the attic alone. Mum was trying to sneak useless 'toot' by me for keeping. I was trying to sneak useless 'toot' in the chaity box without her noticing. We were both caught out eentually. But at least there were no actual fights. And though it wasn't even my stuff or my house I enjoyed it immensely because I knew how good it would make mum feel to let go of a lot of materialistic baggage.
Yesterday evening Jakers had his little girl up. She'd brought her friend around and they amused themselves with Moshi Monsters on the laptop. I brought out the flatpacked coffee table that mum had bought from Ikea several weeks ago and decided she didn't want anymore even before it was out of the packet. I took it off her hands as we lack a coffee table and they are actually pretty useful. As soon as the girls seen me taking it out they were down on the floor with me helping me to put the legs on. And later, when I sat down to do some of my glow in the dark jigsaw, they sat down to help me with that. It just goes to show that kids will entertain themselves with TV and computers but, maybe, given the choice, they'd prefer to do something more practical.
So now it's Friday evening and I managed to squeeze in a bit of time to clean my flat properly so I'm sitting here relaxing and feeling pretty chufed with myself. It's been a great week and I still have two more sleep in's but, even better than that, today I had a driving lesson and I actually drove on real roads through the outskirts of the town and home again. I was so pleased with myself that my instrutor couldn't help being excited for me. As I was thanking him he said "You know, us instructors enjoy it too". And I was by no means a perfect driver but I was still driving, And not only that, I'm finally doing something that I had put off for so long. It was like a big box that hung over my head, waiting to be ticked. I am already planning the most epic of road trips :)
Monday, September 12, 2011
I Wish I Had A Hammock
It's Monday and it's so windy it would blow you into next week. I must take shelter for it would be a terrible shame to miss my week off. Can you tell how happy I am to be on holiday?
The dentist took an X-ray of my teeth. He doesn't yet know if my toothache is due to an abcess or my teeth grinding. Either way he's going to charge me a fortune. My teeth grinding is pretty bad. Many's a morning I have woke to find Jakers lying on the sofa. I'm getting fitted with a mouth guard which will sting me £50 and I will no longer be able to suck my thumb when I'm sleeping. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
The rats are being lazy today. I'm thinking of joining them. I wish I had a hammock though.
The dentist took an X-ray of my teeth. He doesn't yet know if my toothache is due to an abcess or my teeth grinding. Either way he's going to charge me a fortune. My teeth grinding is pretty bad. Many's a morning I have woke to find Jakers lying on the sofa. I'm getting fitted with a mouth guard which will sting me £50 and I will no longer be able to suck my thumb when I'm sleeping. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
The rats are being lazy today. I'm thinking of joining them. I wish I had a hammock though.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
You'll Find Me In The Dark
Woo! Hoo! I'm off work for a whole week. I'm not going anywhere but I don't think I'll have time to get bored. In fact, I suspect I may be busier than I would be in a normal week. I start the week off with a driving lesson. It's taking me a while but I don't even care. There's no point rushing myself because it wouldn't help me learn any quicker. I decided to book my self a few lessons close together though as I felt the one week gap was too long.
After that I have an appointment with the dentist. He is sure to charge me a fortune. The rest of Monday is mine though. On Tuesday I hope to join Miss Martha at the fun factory. Aunty Jayney is coming along as she adores Martha and Martha thinks Jayney is also very nice.
Also on Tuesday, weather permitting, I shall be hanging out on a farm to do cool stuff. I shall report more when it's happened. I also plan to help Nelly do a wile lotta redding out. I've told her we have to be ruthless. I think I get a little kick out of being ruthless. Only with clutter around the house though. There is something immensely satisfying about getting rid of things that lie around doing nothing.
I'm not sure what the rest of the week will hold but I'm looking forward to chilling out a bit aswell. I'm sure the rats will be lavished with plenty of attention. I'll probably go out and spend a fortune on toys for them. And, after all that, I hope I have time to do my new glow in the dark jigsaw. So, if you're looking for me, I'll be in a dark room trying to piece together the glow in the dark puzzle.
After that I have an appointment with the dentist. He is sure to charge me a fortune. The rest of Monday is mine though. On Tuesday I hope to join Miss Martha at the fun factory. Aunty Jayney is coming along as she adores Martha and Martha thinks Jayney is also very nice.
Also on Tuesday, weather permitting, I shall be hanging out on a farm to do cool stuff. I shall report more when it's happened. I also plan to help Nelly do a wile lotta redding out. I've told her we have to be ruthless. I think I get a little kick out of being ruthless. Only with clutter around the house though. There is something immensely satisfying about getting rid of things that lie around doing nothing.
I'm not sure what the rest of the week will hold but I'm looking forward to chilling out a bit aswell. I'm sure the rats will be lavished with plenty of attention. I'll probably go out and spend a fortune on toys for them. And, after all that, I hope I have time to do my new glow in the dark jigsaw. So, if you're looking for me, I'll be in a dark room trying to piece together the glow in the dark puzzle.
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Oh What Fun We Had
Lucky Miss Martha had the pleasure of hanging out with her Auntie Katy this week. Auntie Katy lives in Norfolk so doesn't get to hang with her darling niece that often. The day started as is does most days I stay over at Nellybert's. Martha came to wake me up and brush my hair. She then had her porridge (which must be said whilst nodding her head approvingly) and after breakfast it was time to explore the great outdoors.
Martha's dolly wanted to go for a swing but she's much too little to go on a grownup swing on her own so Martha accompanied her.
After all that Martha needed a rest so she hung about on the hammock putting her feet up.
After a good rest Martha was picking berries in the tunnel where she remembered that cat's exist. She tried to cuddle Holly but she was having none of it. I reminded Martha that it was Freddy who she liked. So off we went on a big hunt for Freddy. We tried the greenhouse, Pearlie's room, all the bedrooms and the shed. Eventually he turned up under the car. Martha petted him then chased him right up the back lane.
Finally it was time for Granny and Martha to go for a wee spin on the ninky nonk train. I think this was maybe the most fun part of the day for Martha. And for Granny. And for me.
As well as all that Martha managed to fit in time to bath Dolly who was in dire need of it, eat berries, complete an obstacle course and see the 'other piggies' who she has become rather fond of. We shall not tell her that one day those piggies might be 'nunch'.
Martha's dolly wanted to go for a swing but she's much too little to go on a grownup swing on her own so Martha accompanied her.
After all that Martha needed a rest so she hung about on the hammock putting her feet up.
After a good rest Martha was picking berries in the tunnel where she remembered that cat's exist. She tried to cuddle Holly but she was having none of it. I reminded Martha that it was Freddy who she liked. So off we went on a big hunt for Freddy. We tried the greenhouse, Pearlie's room, all the bedrooms and the shed. Eventually he turned up under the car. Martha petted him then chased him right up the back lane.
Finally it was time for Granny and Martha to go for a wee spin on the ninky nonk train. I think this was maybe the most fun part of the day for Martha. And for Granny. And for me.
As well as all that Martha managed to fit in time to bath Dolly who was in dire need of it, eat berries, complete an obstacle course and see the 'other piggies' who she has become rather fond of. We shall not tell her that one day those piggies might be 'nunch'.
Monday, August 22, 2011
My Favourite Photo
I love this picture. I don't know why I just do. Notice the pots and pans? It was New Year and Nelly had cooked up a storm. But it wasn't the Last Supper because, as you can see, the bread and wine is there but Jesus is not. He missed a good night though.
I like the fact that it's quite ambiguous. Marty is playing an instrument but, as it's body is hidden from view, he could be playing anything. He could be playing the hairy banjo. Jakers is also preoccupied with something in his hands. He could be playing the harmonica or he could be kissing a frog to see if it turns into a handsome princess. Who knows? I also like my guitar in the corner and the feather duster hanging with the kitchen utensils.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Hannah. Up.
Oh Thank God! I just got my first driving lesson over me and it wasn't actually that bad. I think the hardest part was phoning up and booking it. Hopefully this time next year I'll have my licence under my belt and I can then concentrate on that thing people call a "career". Who knows, I might even get a job as a taxi driver.
I had a lovely day yesterday with my mum and Martha. It occurred to me that what we here from a toddler's mouth is only a tiny fraction of what's going on in their head. For example. I stayed over at mum's and was sstill lying in bed when mum brought Martha up to see me. Martha said "Hannah. Up." and "Hannah. Hair." Of course, what she really meant was: Good lord Hannah look at your bedhead, it's a total mess, and what are you still doing in bed anyway, I've been up for hours.
Another example is when Bert tpld me that Martha is a porridge purist. She never lets you put anything on her porridge. As Bert scooped oranges into his bowl he asked Martha if she wanted some. She didn't say yes and she didn't say no but she looked at Bert as if to say: You ask me this every week Bert. You know I don't want stuff on my porridge.
But because she didn't say no Bert put one tiny segment of orange onto her plate which she looked at disdainfully. She then spooned out the orange, held it up to me and said "Hannah. Try." She is one cute cookie. And the orange was very nice. I don't know why Martha doesn't like them on her porridge.
I had a lovely day yesterday with my mum and Martha. It occurred to me that what we here from a toddler's mouth is only a tiny fraction of what's going on in their head. For example. I stayed over at mum's and was sstill lying in bed when mum brought Martha up to see me. Martha said "Hannah. Up." and "Hannah. Hair." Of course, what she really meant was: Good lord Hannah look at your bedhead, it's a total mess, and what are you still doing in bed anyway, I've been up for hours.
Another example is when Bert tpld me that Martha is a porridge purist. She never lets you put anything on her porridge. As Bert scooped oranges into his bowl he asked Martha if she wanted some. She didn't say yes and she didn't say no but she looked at Bert as if to say: You ask me this every week Bert. You know I don't want stuff on my porridge.
But because she didn't say no Bert put one tiny segment of orange onto her plate which she looked at disdainfully. She then spooned out the orange, held it up to me and said "Hannah. Try." She is one cute cookie. And the orange was very nice. I don't know why Martha doesn't like them on her porridge.
Saturday, August 06, 2011
A Sweet Sweet Song
This doesn't happen very often anymore:
I wish I could buy that tree over there,
And from it, I'd hang up a swing,
And my mum, she could sit,
While I play my guitar,
And the tree, a sweet song she would sing.
And the song that she sings,
With her roots in the soil,
Is a comfort to all that can hear,
And my mum swings along, to the sweet, sweet song,
And whispers "I love you, my dear".
I wish I could buy that tree over there,
And from it, I'd hang up a swing,
And my mum, she could sit,
While I play my guitar,
And the tree, a sweet song she would sing.
And the song that she sings,
With her roots in the soil,
Is a comfort to all that can hear,
And my mum swings along, to the sweet, sweet song,
And whispers "I love you, my dear".
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
A Bite Of Every One
Martha has learnt how to say Hannah. She still likes to call me Ha though. I missed her when she was on her holidays. Mum, Ben, Martha and I all met up with a few members of the clan (the Byrne clan, that is, not the KKK). It was a lovely day and it was also my dad's birthday. Happy Birthday Dad! It would have been my Granny's birthday too so it was nice to do something as a family.
Dirt Bird was home and, as always, it was a pleasure catching up with her. She was here for her brother's wedding. Her brother was marrying a girl from Slovakia and all the guests were given a box of Slovakian cakes and pastries to take home. When I eventually did get home I was craving a little sugar so I opened my box of Slovakian delights. I was so so eager to sample all the different varieties that I couldn't space it out over a few days so I took a single bite out of each one. The next morning Jakers wanted to try a bun. Then I had to tell him that I had, pretty much, just spoiled whole box of buns. Sorry babe.
Young Ben has been hanging out on the farm at Nellybert's. Young Ben who is wise beyond his years. On the 12th night BBQ Ben was mighty impressed with Wee Dill's guitar playing skills. He came out and said to Wee Dill's housemate Dr. D. "That guy's amazing at the guitar but he just has to believe it himself" But then I am reminded of his youth when he tells me that he was talking to Dirt Bird's mum, who's a teacher at his school. He asked if she knew Dirt Bird. Dirt Bird's mum said no and asked who this Dirt Bird was, to which Ben replied "Is she not your daughter?"
Rocky has been sporting a bad foot. The vet's given him medicine which he lapped up with milk, he's content enough to lie snoozing in his hammockand Pepe's pretty pissed off that he's getting special treatment. But she is being quite considerate by letting him have the hammock to himself. For now. And we'll have to keep them separated when we can't keep an eye on them. The vet said he was a good boy though. I really hope Pepe never has call to go to the vet 'cause I think she'd be a nightmare.
Dirt Bird was home and, as always, it was a pleasure catching up with her. She was here for her brother's wedding. Her brother was marrying a girl from Slovakia and all the guests were given a box of Slovakian cakes and pastries to take home. When I eventually did get home I was craving a little sugar so I opened my box of Slovakian delights. I was so so eager to sample all the different varieties that I couldn't space it out over a few days so I took a single bite out of each one. The next morning Jakers wanted to try a bun. Then I had to tell him that I had, pretty much, just spoiled whole box of buns. Sorry babe.
Young Ben has been hanging out on the farm at Nellybert's. Young Ben who is wise beyond his years. On the 12th night BBQ Ben was mighty impressed with Wee Dill's guitar playing skills. He came out and said to Wee Dill's housemate Dr. D. "That guy's amazing at the guitar but he just has to believe it himself" But then I am reminded of his youth when he tells me that he was talking to Dirt Bird's mum, who's a teacher at his school. He asked if she knew Dirt Bird. Dirt Bird's mum said no and asked who this Dirt Bird was, to which Ben replied "Is she not your daughter?"
Rocky has been sporting a bad foot. The vet's given him medicine which he lapped up with milk, he's content enough to lie snoozing in his hammockand Pepe's pretty pissed off that he's getting special treatment. But she is being quite considerate by letting him have the hammock to himself. For now. And we'll have to keep them separated when we can't keep an eye on them. The vet said he was a good boy though. I really hope Pepe never has call to go to the vet 'cause I think she'd be a nightmare.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Gone With The Wine
So Amy Winehouse has finally croked it. That sounds awful, I know, but that's my reaction because it was only a matter of time. I don't think anyone is surprised and that's sad. It's sad that she's dead, obviously, but it's also sad that we almost expected it. I think if the bookies were taking money more people would have bet she would die before she would make a new record.
And I don't get it. It's not like she's the first rock or pop star to die, or even die from drink and drug overdose. But most of the other famous causualties actually had a career for longer than a few years. It just all happened so quick. She shot to fame, she lived the lifestyle, she went too far, she descended into a dark, seedy world where she no longer had control. I can't help but blame the media. I think they grind people down to nothing. And the reason why Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison and Sid Vicious left a legacy behind is because they stayed wise enough and straight enough to put in the time and make good music for longer. My point is, there was no reason why Amy Winehouse couldn't have sorted herself out, worked on her career again and make a massive comeback. There was talent there in the first place and that never leaves you. The girl had a great voice and the soul behind it to carry her. But for her it was easier to get wasted than have to live up to people's expectations.
Anyway, all that aside, she was a human being, someone's daughter, someone's friend. You don't get to my age and not know someone who's died through drugs. Thankfully, nobody ever close to me but it's always sad. And I just think of all the people who really knew Amy and how they must feel.
And I don't get it. It's not like she's the first rock or pop star to die, or even die from drink and drug overdose. But most of the other famous causualties actually had a career for longer than a few years. It just all happened so quick. She shot to fame, she lived the lifestyle, she went too far, she descended into a dark, seedy world where she no longer had control. I can't help but blame the media. I think they grind people down to nothing. And the reason why Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison and Sid Vicious left a legacy behind is because they stayed wise enough and straight enough to put in the time and make good music for longer. My point is, there was no reason why Amy Winehouse couldn't have sorted herself out, worked on her career again and make a massive comeback. There was talent there in the first place and that never leaves you. The girl had a great voice and the soul behind it to carry her. But for her it was easier to get wasted than have to live up to people's expectations.
Anyway, all that aside, she was a human being, someone's daughter, someone's friend. You don't get to my age and not know someone who's died through drugs. Thankfully, nobody ever close to me but it's always sad. And I just think of all the people who really knew Amy and how they must feel.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Rocky Speaks Out
Work has been a nightmare this week. They say never work with anilmals or children but anyone who says that doesn't work with technology. My job depends on computers and printers. When they don't play ball it causes endless problems. But, I'm off today. Except that I'm not really off because I'm volunteering with my youth group. Lately I've had an overwhleming urge to climb a mountain. Today we are going orienteering which is the next best thing to climbing a mountain. When I told my boss this he said, "Please don't get lost Hannah, we need you on Friday". Either he hasn't a lot of faith in my orienteering skills (not sure I can blame him) or he thinks life is a movie because anyone who goes on such expeditions in a movie is bound to get in a spot of bother. Personally, I don't mind if I get lost. It may be preferable to going back to work. I just hope I don't run into any bears. Ireland is hotching with bears. Ask Nelly.
Anyway, Rocky was a bit raging that Pepe got to post on my blog and he wants a wee turn at it so here is, Rocky the Rock Star:
Hi everyone,
I know you've heard a lot about me but that was from Hannah's point of view and she doesn't speak Rat and I think she's waaaaay off the mark. Firstly, I am not stupid I am just bone idle. Yes, I like to stuff my face and, yes I like to sleep for hours in my hammock while Pepe runs around like a mental skittish bitch (hope I don't get into trouble for calling Pepe a bitch)but it was them who insisted on getting my balls chopped so now my only pleasures in life are sleeping and eating. Having said that though, I do so love to get out a wee scoot. Hannah and Jakers let us 'free range' round the living room, and though it'ss only a wee living room to them, it's practically a whole country for us. I love jumping up on the window sill and looking out over the universe. I also like to have a wee nibble at the Parrot plant they keep there. Well, that's all for now, I just wanted to set the record straight that I am not a dumbass. I'm actually quite sensitive.
Anyway, Rocky was a bit raging that Pepe got to post on my blog and he wants a wee turn at it so here is, Rocky the Rock Star:
Hi everyone,
I know you've heard a lot about me but that was from Hannah's point of view and she doesn't speak Rat and I think she's waaaaay off the mark. Firstly, I am not stupid I am just bone idle. Yes, I like to stuff my face and, yes I like to sleep for hours in my hammock while Pepe runs around like a mental skittish bitch (hope I don't get into trouble for calling Pepe a bitch)but it was them who insisted on getting my balls chopped so now my only pleasures in life are sleeping and eating. Having said that though, I do so love to get out a wee scoot. Hannah and Jakers let us 'free range' round the living room, and though it'ss only a wee living room to them, it's practically a whole country for us. I love jumping up on the window sill and looking out over the universe. I also like to have a wee nibble at the Parrot plant they keep there. Well, that's all for now, I just wanted to set the record straight that I am not a dumbass. I'm actually quite sensitive.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
What Girls Get Up To
Inspiration has been thin on the ground just lately. I find when your busy doing stuff there's no time to think about interesting tings to write about. And I have been a busy girl, what with the alternative 12th BBQ and general summer merriment.
I stayed over at my friends last night to keep her company while her parents are on holiday. Her cousin informed us of a ceriain internet phenomenom called Chat Roulette. Well, it involves switching your web cam on and chatting (or otherwise) to someone half way across the world. If you don't want to chat you hit a button and you see someone else who you may want to chat (or otherwise) to. Obviously it's a total breeding ground for exhibitionists wanting to show off their assets in the hope of enticing someone to do a little more than just chat. I guess that's where the roulette part comes in because every time you hit the button you don't know if your gonna be staring at someone's face or someone's assets. Needless to say, we are innocent girlies and we did a lot of shrieking. We also sang Danny Boy to some Jamaican lads.
I stayed over at my friends last night to keep her company while her parents are on holiday. Her cousin informed us of a ceriain internet phenomenom called Chat Roulette. Well, it involves switching your web cam on and chatting (or otherwise) to someone half way across the world. If you don't want to chat you hit a button and you see someone else who you may want to chat (or otherwise) to. Obviously it's a total breeding ground for exhibitionists wanting to show off their assets in the hope of enticing someone to do a little more than just chat. I guess that's where the roulette part comes in because every time you hit the button you don't know if your gonna be staring at someone's face or someone's assets. Needless to say, we are innocent girlies and we did a lot of shrieking. We also sang Danny Boy to some Jamaican lads.
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Spoilt Ratten
We got a new sofa yesterday and I can't beelieve how good it is. The rats can finally go free range (and hopefully start laying some eggs). When they escaped it was a nightmare getting them back because the old sofa had holes in it which Pepe liked to climb through and hide. Attempts to retrieve her often resulted in a fierce bite.
The new sofa has no holes and all we had to do was barricade the TV so they couldn't hide in Wire City and they were able to run loose. I realise that having a couple of rats running round your living room doesn't appeal to everyone but domestic rats are very clean animals and will hold their poohs and pees in til they get back to their cage. Also, it fills my heart with glee to hear the pitter patter of their feet as they scuttle about.
Up til now we have let them roam on the sofa. They crawl all over us, using our shoulders to jump to the top of the sofa where they like to snuggle when they get bored. And that's the thing, they do get bored and need lots of things to keep them entertained. It's Saturday night and I reckoned watching the rats run about the room was a much more worthwhile pursuit than going out and getting blocked.
We thought it might be hard getting Pepe back into the cage again but she didn't put up a fight and she was rewarded with a nice bit of cheese. Rocky never gives us any bother so he got cheese too. They actually looked like happier rats after their little taste of freedom. And we were happy and proud that it was such a success. I said to Jakers "See, we're good parents after all."
It's been a Rocky road at times but now I know that those rats have all they could ever wish for, and more.
The new sofa has no holes and all we had to do was barricade the TV so they couldn't hide in Wire City and they were able to run loose. I realise that having a couple of rats running round your living room doesn't appeal to everyone but domestic rats are very clean animals and will hold their poohs and pees in til they get back to their cage. Also, it fills my heart with glee to hear the pitter patter of their feet as they scuttle about.
Up til now we have let them roam on the sofa. They crawl all over us, using our shoulders to jump to the top of the sofa where they like to snuggle when they get bored. And that's the thing, they do get bored and need lots of things to keep them entertained. It's Saturday night and I reckoned watching the rats run about the room was a much more worthwhile pursuit than going out and getting blocked.
We thought it might be hard getting Pepe back into the cage again but she didn't put up a fight and she was rewarded with a nice bit of cheese. Rocky never gives us any bother so he got cheese too. They actually looked like happier rats after their little taste of freedom. And we were happy and proud that it was such a success. I said to Jakers "See, we're good parents after all."
It's been a Rocky road at times but now I know that those rats have all they could ever wish for, and more.
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Pepe's Post
I didn't realise it but tonight was my last night volunteering until September. It'll be nice to have a break for a few months but, now that I have a spare evening free every week, I think I should use it as an opportunity to start driving lessons. To be honest, the thought repulses me but I am only putting off the inevitable.
But.....someone else has something to say. It's Pepe the rat:
Hey there,
Well, Hannah thought that Rocky would be the first to guest blog but he hasn't learnt to read or write yet 'cos he's a thicko. I think the fat has clogged up his arteries and the blood doesn't flow to his brain so good. I used to have lots of adventures round the flat. One of my favourite places was behind the TV where all the wires were. I never nibbled them. I waited until Hannah or Jakers put their hands in and nibbled them instead. Except, they didn't like me nibbling them and always shouted at me. I don't get out and about as much these days since me and Rocky got the new cage. I do like it. I especially like the soft flannel hammock. Sometimes me and Rocky just lie in there all day long. I'm not sure what I make of Hannah and Jakers. They're ok sometimes and give me bits of ham or cheese or fruit but sometimes I just want to bite them, just for the hell of it. And sometimes I have a good scrap with Rocky. Ok, that's all for now, I'm ready for a nice big snooze in the hammock. Cheerio
But.....someone else has something to say. It's Pepe the rat:
Hey there,
Well, Hannah thought that Rocky would be the first to guest blog but he hasn't learnt to read or write yet 'cos he's a thicko. I think the fat has clogged up his arteries and the blood doesn't flow to his brain so good. I used to have lots of adventures round the flat. One of my favourite places was behind the TV where all the wires were. I never nibbled them. I waited until Hannah or Jakers put their hands in and nibbled them instead. Except, they didn't like me nibbling them and always shouted at me. I don't get out and about as much these days since me and Rocky got the new cage. I do like it. I especially like the soft flannel hammock. Sometimes me and Rocky just lie in there all day long. I'm not sure what I make of Hannah and Jakers. They're ok sometimes and give me bits of ham or cheese or fruit but sometimes I just want to bite them, just for the hell of it. And sometimes I have a good scrap with Rocky. Ok, that's all for now, I'm ready for a nice big snooze in the hammock. Cheerio
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Summer At Last
Today it actually felt like summer. The sun shone bright with only a ight breeze in the air. I woke up late but not too late. I drank coffee 'til I was sufficiently alert. I hung washing and washed dishes. We went out for a dander round the town. Bumped into Pepe Le Pew and his girlfriend who is not a black cat with a stripe down her back. We stopped off for a pint of interesting cider. Jakers' cider was interesting because it was alcohol free. Mine was interesting because it wasn't Magners or Strongbow.
We also took a walk to look at a new prospective house. It looks lovely and if I could wish for anything right now it would be to have that house. This depends on the rent being affordable and the landlord choosing us over anyone else interested in it. But, as with everything, if it's meant to be it will be. I hope it is.
We also took a walk to look at a new prospective house. It looks lovely and if I could wish for anything right now it would be to have that house. This depends on the rent being affordable and the landlord choosing us over anyone else interested in it. But, as with everything, if it's meant to be it will be. I hope it is.
Saturday, July 02, 2011
Granny's Stew
Remember the job I applied for a while back. Well it turns out that failing to mention that I do voluntary work didn't really matter as I got home from work yesterday to find the application form sent back to me because I hadn't paid enough postage. It was 12p. 12p for fuck sakes. The best of it is, Dirt Bird sent me a letter and it didn't have enough postage paid but they sent it to me anyway. And what use is it returning a letter to the sender 6 bloody weeks after they've sent it. Complete and utter incompentence on Royal Mail's behalf. I refuse to take responsibility for not putting another 12p stamp on the envelope.
As annoying as it is I didn't have much faith in getting the job anyway and I just take it all as a sign that it wasn't meant to be. Ho well.
I've been staying at Nellybert's once a week. This is mutually beneficial as I'm pretty sure that mum and Bert like having me around and I get to have yummy dinners like Granny Stew (basically Irish stew but always tastes better when cooked by a Granny). Another perk for me is getting to cuddle with Harry and Judy. Judy climbs into bed with in the middle of the night and I wake up with her underneath the blankets. She wakes up with me in the morning, hangs about 'til I leave for work and then runs upstairs to mum's bed for more cuds and snugs.
I've been living in the town for a good while now and have forgotten the ways of the countryside. I was outside when I saw a strange small object on the ground. I picked it up and it was hard and slightly curved like a small banana. I inspected it closely and wondered if it was a claw from some kind of sea creature. Then I saw the indistinguishable marks and squealed as I realised I had picked up a hard, dry, dead slug. Yuck!
As annoying as it is I didn't have much faith in getting the job anyway and I just take it all as a sign that it wasn't meant to be. Ho well.
I've been staying at Nellybert's once a week. This is mutually beneficial as I'm pretty sure that mum and Bert like having me around and I get to have yummy dinners like Granny Stew (basically Irish stew but always tastes better when cooked by a Granny). Another perk for me is getting to cuddle with Harry and Judy. Judy climbs into bed with in the middle of the night and I wake up with her underneath the blankets. She wakes up with me in the morning, hangs about 'til I leave for work and then runs upstairs to mum's bed for more cuds and snugs.
I've been living in the town for a good while now and have forgotten the ways of the countryside. I was outside when I saw a strange small object on the ground. I picked it up and it was hard and slightly curved like a small banana. I inspected it closely and wondered if it was a claw from some kind of sea creature. Then I saw the indistinguishable marks and squealed as I realised I had picked up a hard, dry, dead slug. Yuck!
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