Drunk on Fudge

Edinburgh is gorgeous. I've seen a fair amount of cities in the past few months and, after Oaxaca, Edinburgh comes in a very close second. Mel and I amused ourselves with riverpath walks and exhibitions. We climbed Scot's Monument, which is an old gothic tower that gives stunning views across the city. It's pretty tough to get all the way to the top as you have to ascend, what feels like, a never ending spiral staircase that becomes so narrow on the top there's barely enough room for one person to squeeze by. So if the height of the tower doesn't make you dizzy the steps up definitely will.

We also indulged in many types of amazing fudge; mint, chocolate caramel, Belgian chocolate, 'special' fudge (unfortunately it wasn't special like I know special but it was damn delicious) and, my favourite, Turkish delight flavour fudge. Needless to say I was in Fudge Heaven. Though by morning time it was more like a fudge hangover. I also had my long awaited Papa John's pizza. Hmmmmm. I hear there's one in Belfast. I wonder if they do free delivery to Cullybackey?

But we didn't just sit around filling our big faces with fudge and pizza (though we did do a lot of that). We also had drinks by the river of Leith and went to the Camera Obscura, which is an exhibition of optical illusions and fun bits of gadgetry to play around with. All in all it was a lovely wee trip across the water and it was just nice to hang with Mel before she goes away to Australia for months on end.

Upon my arrival I was informed by mum that Expedia had been phoning me to inform me of a flight change from Peru to Madrid. Seeing as I'm not in Peru I thought there was little point in phoning them back but the guy on the phone said if I wasn't taking the flight I could get my money back. So I phoned back first thing yesterday morning and this has resulted in me being £300 richer. Today is my birthday so, thanks Expedia, what a lovely birthday present :)

Easter Fun and Frolics

It's not that Ive been lazy about blogging I have genuinely had no time to update. I've been much too busy having fun y'see. The infamous Dirt Bird was over for Easter and, naturally, this involved serious amounts of drinking. Though I can't blame it all on her as I was drinking on nights she wasn't out as well. On Sunday night we all vacated Nellybert's for a good old game of "Throw Your Money Out The Window", otherwise known as Poker. I'd have won if he hadn't been for that pesky Bert. And Swisser and Dirt Bird and Danny and Marty. Robbin' bastards I tell ye!

So by Monday I was ready for a quiet night in but DJ Yoda was playing in Belfast and I had somehow managed to let someone make me think it was a good idea to go. It was actually and I had a goood night even though I was secretly hoping that the bus would leave for Belfast without me. I had just enough time to nurse an accumulative hangover on Tuesday, get showered and pack for the jaunt down to Dublin on Wednesday morning with Z and baby M.

We only spent a day and a half in Dublin but it was a lovely opportunity for me to spend time with my gorgeous niece. She now thinks that her auntie Hannah isn't a bad ould spud and she particularly likes the Boingy Song. In Dublin we visited the Dead Animal Exhibition which is a bit freaky if you don't like stuffed animals but really interesting all the same. We did a lot of ther nice stuff too but, for me, one of the most exciting things was enjoying a packet of Willy Wonka's crunchy Nerd Jelly Beans. I know Willy Wonka's a fictional character but I'd still like to marry him.

So then it was back to Ballymena for a ween o' hours before I made my way here, to Edinburgh, to visit my good friend the Lovely Mel. So far Edinburgh has been kind to me by basking me in sunshine and offering me the most delectable fudge but I'll write more about all that when I get home. For now the optical illusion exhibition is calling to us.

Be Cheerful

Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.



I found a copy of this poem in my wardrobe. I had written it out in a letter for a friend but never got round to posting it. I'm kinda glad I didn't though as I'd have forgotten about it for another 10 years and it's too good a poem to be forgotten. I'm not a particularly religious person but that's why I like the line "Therefore, be at peace with God, Whatever you conceive Him to be". I guess I like it because it's good advice for life in general, especially the last line "Be cheerful, Strive to be happy".

My Boy's Got Bill Payer's Rights

I met the infamous Shovel Hands McKee on Friday night. His hands are huuuge, hence the name Shovel Hands McKee. I'm pretty sure that every time there's an eclipse it's because this guy is waving at his friends. Also, when we were leaving the pub on Friday night my boyfriend, who was a leetle beet drunken, pointed at a policeman and shouted out "Is that a real peeler?" to which I replied "I think the fact that he's wearing a uniform with POLICE written on it would suggest that, yes, he is a real peeler" I'm not sure why he thought there would be fake peelers hanging around on a Friday night but he does get silly notions when he's intoxicated. He was also proudly announcing to me that because he paid for electricity he had Bill Payer's Rights. This meant he was justified in turning the lights on and off repeatedly while I tried to sleep. Oh how I missed that drunken fool!

I Missed My Pub

Well, Ballymena hasn't changed much since I left. But that's how I wanted it to be. Just the same. It was lovely seeing my man for the first time in 7 weeks. I was so nervous about seeing him it felt like a first date, which we never really had before so that was a whole new experience. He had an assortment of malty treats waiting for me which, of course, included a Malteaster Bunny. I went to my local pub on Friday and caught up with a lot of friendly faces. If only I could have taken that pub, and the people in it, to South America! Everyone was glad to see me home safe and sound.

My time this week has been dedicated to building a set of drawers. The task itself was easy enough but it took me a couple of days because of extended breaks for drinking coffee with guests and babysitting Martha Amy. My beautiful niece seems to think I'm an alright person now and doesn't cry immediately after being placed in my arms. She has grown quite a bit since I last seen her and is at the stage where everything has to be looked at, felt and then put in her mouth to see how it tastes. Zoe, Martha and I have a trip to Dublin planned in April. I realised that there's so much of Ireland I want to see let alone the rest of the world.

Pearlie seems suitably pleased to have me back. I don't think I actually gave her time to miss me properly but she is pleased that I'm back all the same. The dogs are glad to have another feeder on hand. Bonnie isn't shy about letting me know that she's hungry. Neither are the cats. Fat Face Freddy spent my first night here lying at the bottom of my bed. He must have known that I'd missed him.

So all in all I'm glad to be home. All of a sudden the days are much shorter. I'm not worrying about what I can do to fill my time. I've got an application form for Student Support up at Queen's. I used to do this job in Stoke and I really loved it so if I could get a wee gig here, even if it's up in Belfast, I'd love it. It's kinda the wrong time of year because student's don't have much need for support worker's in the summer but if I can get my foot in the door for September it would be fine. I could get a temporary job for the summer doing whatever. I'm sure things will all fall into place for me.

Home, Sweet Home

After only 7 weeks away I've decided to go home. The truth is I wasn't really enjoying myself. Also, I feel too vulnerable traveling on my own. Men out here are predators. I feel like it's too easy for someone to take advantage of me. I've had a few scary experiences out here and the last one, in Lima, was the final straw. But it's not just that. I found myself continuously disappointed with the places I visited (with the exception of Oaxaca and Banos) and the people I met. I'm glad to be going home to people who know and love me.

I'm glad that I took a chance. I had such a burning desire to come here and I had to get it out of my system. And I have learnt a valuable lesson about myself, I am not cut out for being on my own. I have not been able to make anyone happy out here and therefore I can't be happy. I can't wait to get back to my darling boyfriend, to cuddle my darling cats and dogs, to help mum with the housework. I have also learnt that I do not suit unemployment. A day is too long when you've nothing to do. I need to be busy, I need to be useful, I need to be needed. So I don't regret my premature departure. I don't care that I have wasted a lot of money that I worked hard to get. The only thing that is important now is that I feel safe and happy. Maybe I will come back one day but not on my own. The good experiences I did have were tainted by the fact that I had no one to share them with.

Maybe a lot of people will think that I'm rash in my decision, that I should give it time and things will improve. The fact is rhat these 7 weeks have been the longest of my life. And that is only half the reason why I'm going home. I thought I was brave but I had no idea how uncomfortable I would feel by the men out here. A lone woman is an easy target. I know from the times I did spend with other people the men will largely ignore you. But everytime I was on my own I received unwanted attention. Even men who were meant to be in a position of trust. I woke up in the early hours of the morning to find a guy who worked at the hostel I was staying at had used a key to let himself into my room. If there had been even one other person sharing with me this wouldn't have happened. I was lucky, I told him sternly to leave and thankfully, after a while, he did. But it is scary to think what could have happened.

So for anyone who does feel like I'm making a mistake, believe me, I know myself better than anyone and I know in my heart that that this is the right decision. The more scared and vulnerable I feel out here the more of a target I am. And of course, I was warned about all the scary situations I could possibly face but I was naive and I had to find out for myself. For that, I'm proud of myself. That I never let anybody else's apprehensions put me off what I wanted to do. But I also know when I've had enough, and I've had enough. There's a reason why people say home, sweet home and that's exactly where I'm going.

Sometimes Not Even The Sunshine Helps

This experience of travelling S.America is so different to my time in Thailand for several reasons. I guess the most significant is that in Thailand, because I was working, I was settled somewhere. I was also there with one of my best friends and there were several other teachers who became good friends. I had a chance to get to know and become close with some of the local Thai people because I wasn't moving on every few days. I had a support network. I was never too far from people who cared about me and who I could have a drink and share a laugh with.

Now that I'm travelling, and especially because I'm doing it alone, I feel disjointed. In one way it's liberating and in another it's isolating. I've had company but not with real friends, people who really know me. Normally I don't mind sitting in a bar on my own but now, sometimes, I feel like a poor, sad loser with no friends.

Another reason why this time is different is because when I went to Thailand I had just come out of a long, arduous relationship that was bad for my health both physically and emotionally. Thailand was my retreat from that. But this time I have left the person that I love for, what's starting to feel like, an eternity. While I admire us both, me for not letting anything get in the way of living my dream, and my man for giving me the freedom and trust to do what I want to do, it's hard being away from him for so long. It's only been a month and a half but the days are so long now that I'm not working. And even though we live in an age of modern technology I can't help but feel very far away. Mobile phones have not been working in my favour and Skype, though brilliant in theory, has proved to be very frustrating. Technology and I have never really had a harmonious relationship.

Another difference is the fact that I'm nothing more than a tourist, doing pretty much the same thing as every other tourist. Yes, it's an experience that's unique to me but in Thailand I was really immersed in the culture. I was part of their community and treated with respect and admiration. Over here I'm just another white face. Yes, I am welcomed but no, I'm not repsected or that well thought of. I know that in regards to this I should just get over myself but it is purely a symptom of having spent a bit too much time on my own recently, with too much time to think. I always said that the thing I was most worried about was being lonely and I was reassured by many that that wouldn't be the case. Now that it is I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong. It's not that I'm turning down opportunites of company or that potential company is shunning me, I just seem to have been moving in the wrong circles over the past week. I haven't seen anyone I could hang out with or, if I have, it's clear that they are part of their own wee niche that doesn't seem very welcoming.

I also know that this is probably a temporary thing and I'm sure that I will fall in with some people eventually but, until then, the days will seem long and dull living in my own head. Surely a dog for companionship would make all the doubt and lonliness disappear?

Taditional Ecuadorian Woman

ecuadorian woman in traditional dress in quito
Originally uploaded by springerstacy

This is a picture of an Ecuadorian woman in traditional clothing. The reason I'm posting it is because the woman remind me of Pearlie in her heyday. To be fair, This lady's costume is relatively tame. A lot of women wear even more shawls as layers and often wear checked aprons as well. I love the Ecuadorian hats though. i'd like to get one for Bert but as I've still a few months to go the chances of it getting squashed out of shape, or lost, are very high. Maybe I'll order him one from the internet when I get back.

I arrived in Cuenca yesterday evening and all I can say is that the scenery was delicious. Rolling, tumbling hills with little brooks and streams trickling down them. It really was gorgeous. If you have to be on a bus for 7 hours you might as well have something nice to look at. Cuenca is stunning as well. For a city. So I guess rather than sit here on the net i should probably go out and take some photos.

Time For Reflection

It's taken me a while to think about some of the differences between home and Mexico but I've had a few chilled days to myself. So here are some of the things I noticed:

If you're offering someone a cigarette it's considered rude to take the cigarette out of the pack and hand it to them. It's better to let them take the cigarette out of the pack themselves. I'd offered many Mexican people cigarettes by hand before 2 Oaxcan guys told me this so I don't think it's really that big a deal. Interesting though.

Shoe shining is still very much practiced in Mexico. I guess it's because the streets can be very dry and dusty and I think it's also a status thing. The rich buisnessmen couldn't possibly clean their own shoes!

Most Mexican dishes use all the same ingredients (tortillas, meat, cheese and beans) they just present them in a different way and give them different names.

Mexican people are very tactile, even when meeting someone for the first time they will hug you and give you a kiss on the cheek.

It is not uncommon to see older men lying on the street in broad daylight passed out drunk (or possibly dead).

Mexican policemen and government security guard are heavily armed with guns. Big massive guns.

As a general rule, Mexicans are very friendly and helpful. The downside to this, however, is if they don't the answer to something they will tell you anything. Hence me walking around the airport for 2 hours before I located my lost luggage!

Mexican people are always late, not by minutes but by hours. They will often use the traffic as an excuse, which, to be fair, is a valid excuse as the traffic is crazy in the city.

Mexican people are extremely noisy! There's no such thing as going for a 'quiet' drink as the bars are always playing extremely loud music. They also like to hoot and holler a lot, especially on public transport where they're often trying to sell CD's or snacks.

So that's about all I can think of just at the moment but I'm sure there are many more differences, and probably much more interesting ones but this is all my brain's allowing me to remember just at the minute.

I'm In Riobamba now and have treated myself to a private room in a hotel for a couple of nights. After sharing dorm rooms it's such a pleasure to have my own space and a TV. I watched all manner of nonsense last night just because I could. I don't normally watch a lot of TV at home but it is nice having access to it. Tomorrow I'm making my way down to Cuenca. There's supposed to be some good museums down there so I'll while away my time soaking up a little bit of culture!

Sugar Overload

Yesterday was lovely. After I'd had a few cups of coffee and checked my emails I set off on a hike up one of the hills that overlooks Baños. It was more or less a Pixie Trail (I LOVE Pixie Trails!) but it was pretty steep. As I was stopping every 10 minutes to take a rest school kids were running up past me, one in his bare feet, but they all said 'Hola'. To be fair, they have youth on their side and I had the heat nd altitude against me. 3 workmen also stopped on their way down for a brief chat and to shake my hand. It's at those times I'm glad I've got even a little bit of Spanish so I can be polite and friendly back to the locals.

I was completely exhausted by the time I made it to the cafe at the top but the spectacular view and cold fruit juice was my reward. The juice was made from local fruit. It didn't specify what kind but it was lovely and refreshing.

I met a guy from San Francisco at the cafe so I had some company for the trek back down again. I was glad to be on my own on the way up though 'cos I like to take things at my own pace, which is generally slower than most people's. It was nice to have company on the way down though.

BaÑos is a great place for people with a sweet tooth. I bought a little box of confectionary that had cubes of a thick fruit jam-like substance and cubes of fudge. Well, I say fudge, it was like fudge but without the condensed milk.The lady also gave me a little free sample of the sugarcane, which is so sickeningly sweet not even I could finish it.

After my hike I indulged in the famous thermal baths that are rich in minerals and heated by the nearby Volcan Tungurahua (which has been spouting mushroom clouds of smoke at an alarming rate this past couple of days). I started off in the medium bath which was lovely and relaxing. Then I had a go in the super hot bath but could only stick it for 10 minutes. Even though the heat was uncomfortable it still felt like it was doing me a lot of good.

Afterwards I had a really healthy dinner of roasted onions, tomatoes and peppers with tortillas and salsa. That's the healthiest meal I've had after so long in Mexico eating cheese and drinking Oaxacan hot chocolate. After my dinner I had a cup of hot passion fruit juice mixed with alcoholic sugar cane. It was pleasant but not the kind of drink most people would enjoy, probably because of the sugar content.

I then went back my hostel feeling well-fed, well-exercised and well-relaxed, content to do a bit of reading before bed but ended up going out for drinks with some people and undoing all the good that I'd done to my body. I woke up this morning feeling horrific. I don't blame the beer or the rum, I blame the alcoholic sugarcane!

Quiet in Quito

So, El Tule. Though it's only about 13 km outside of Oaxaca Danny and I found it hard enough to get to as buses didn´t run and taxis only go to certain areas. We spent a good 45 minutes trying to figure it out and just as we were both about to give up I noticed a taxi that said 'El Tule' on the side. Yaaaay!! So in we jumped with 4 other people (that's how they taxi people around in Mexico, 3 in the back and 2 in the front, not including the driver!).

El Tule is only a small....hamlet I guess, or village, I'm not sure but as I said, the attraction was Old Granpa, an enormous 52 meter wide tree (El Arbol de Santa Maria) said to be the oldest living object in the world. ¨Tis also the largest tree in the world. I was suitably impressed with it's grandeur. To think what this tree has lived through is amazing! I was obviously amazed by all the archelogical ruins that I saw in Mexico but none of them paled in comparison to this mighty tree.

Anyway, the same day that I went to visit El Tule I had another encounter with The Oaxacan Poet. He asked me if I wanted to buy another poem for 4 peso. At first I said no and told him one poem was more special but he told me if he had 4 peso he could buy some lollipops to sell and he offered me his guitar to play while he wrote it. After he'd finished he asked me if I wanted to help him sell the lollies. I had an hour to kill before Danny was out of his lesson so I thought why not? Wewent to huge market and I was pleased to see that even the locals have trouble getting their bearings. Then we went back up to the Zocalo and pounced on as many people we could. My part to play was smiling and waving the lollipops and telling people they were delicious in Spanish. I just knew I wouldn't escape the whole trip without working a little bit!

I arrived in Quito, Ecuador last night. I had a good sleep and all I've managed to do so far is have a cup of coffee and find this internet place. I feel groggy from the sleep disruption (and possibly the altitude isn't helping) so I think I might just take it easy today. Not sure I'll stay too long in Quito as I want to head to Baños soon for some nice relaxing thermal baths. Awww, poor me and the life I live!!

Lost Cameras and Old Trees

A few nights ago, after Danny and I had been to Monte Alban, we went for a few drinks. We'd been to the cheap mezcal bar first and then headed to the Zocalo for a quiet beer. A few nights ago we were at the same bar at Zocalo. I'd been to the toilet and when I came back one of the bar guys was chatting to Danny. Danny asked me if I'd left my camera there and I said no. The guy was nearly sure it was one of us and looked rather puzzled. It was nice of him to ask and he said it was nice of us to be so honest.

The next day I'd planned to go to El Tule. Looked about the hostel room for my camera. Ah Feck!!! It was my camera!!! It had been missing for 3 days and I hadn't even noticed. What a fecking knob end I am. I went back to the bar and it was the guy's day off. I went back today and he was there and so was my camera and he couldn't believe it had been nearly a week and I'd only just noticed. As he pointed out, what would I have done if he hadn't said about it? I'd have had no idea where I'd lost it or that I'd even lost it. I'm blaming the heat of the sun rather than the strength of the mezcal.

We made it to El Tule today but I'll blog about it tomorrow 'cos the excitement of it all was just too much. The attraction at El Tule is a massive tree (52 metres wide) that is the oldest living and flourishing object in the world. It. Was. Awesome. But I've a soft spot for trees 'cos I'm a bit of an oul' hippie. Anyway, more of that tomorrow and the Oaxacan poet.

A Different Kind Of Souvenir

One of the disadvantages of coming to a place like this (by a place like 'this' I mean somewhere that's high up on the tourist radar) is the fact that if you sit around trying to enjoy a relaxing coffee you are hounded by local people trying to sell you little trinkets and souvenirs. Though it's annoying I understand that these people are just trying to make a living. It's one thing saying no to the adults but it breaks my heart saying no to the endless streams of children, some as young as four, who should be playing, or sleeping or doing the things that children should be doing.

As well as this you have the beggars, some of them able-bodied but obviously very, very poor, many of them with severe physical disabilities who live in a culture where there is no infrastructure to provide then with the help and support they need. I can't help but feel like a mean person for constantly saying no but, for one, I have not come out here as a rich tourist, yes I am privelaged to have been able to afford a plane ticket and enough money that I don't have to work, but I also had to earn that privelage by working as many hours as I possibly could. Not only that but I can't buy too much because I'm carrying it all in my rucksack for the next few months. I have been discarding things rather than accumulating them.

I did, however, get an interesting offer from a couple of young musicians. I saw them walk by me at first. They ummed and aahed about whether or not to approach me and then one egged the other on. He said that he sold lollipops and poems but that he had no lollipops to sell. He offered to write me a poem in Sapnish, about whatever topic I chose, and he would translate it in Engliah for me. The part that swung it for me was I could pay however much or little as I wanted. He said he'd do it for 1 peso (about 5p) so I offered him 20 peso (about 1 pound). It was a much more interesting and personal offer than I'd had before. So I asked him to write a poem about a girl travelling alone. It also had to include something about a tree.

There and then he took out his notebook and pen and started to write. It took him about 10 minutes and when he'd finished he read it first in Spanish then translated it (loosely) into English. He'd obviously an idea about what I was looking for as the poem was a bout a girl who rejected the norms of society to to go on adventure to find out who she was. I know it's a bit cheesy but most poetry and it's topics are. I gave him the 20 peso and he gave me my poem. A piece of paper isn't going to weigh me down atall. More importantly, it's individual and unique to me. I have come away with a souvenir that's lightweight and hasn't been mass-produced like the endless streams of jewellery, hammocks and rugs.

La Isla De Las Muñecas

I've been trying to upload a photo of some of these creepy dolls on the Island Of Dolls but it's not happening for me. I've tried including a link as well but technology out here is very much like everything else, it may do it but it may be tomorrow. So all I can do is advise you to take a look yourself on google images. It will only give you an idea though of how creepy this Island actually is.

So the story is about a man who lost his daughter to the canals. He put up these dolls as a tribute to her. Over the years the dolls have become rotten and decayed and the island has an even more eerie feel to it. It's honestly like something you'd read in a Stephen King novel. Danny had joked when we were that possibly one of the dolls was an actual real baby. There were also a group of men sat round a table drinking whiskey and smokng. We were all offered a drink and we all turned it down. I have a feeling if we'd accepted a drink that would have been the start of our own personal horror movie.

I should have done this story much more justice by reading a few things about it but the computer I'm on has just had a virus alert so I'll try and post this and write more at a later date.

Amazing Oaxaca

Danny and I missed the 4;00 bus to Oaxaca so ended up getting an overnight bus. We arrived at 7 in the morning exhausted with no hostels open to book into and no cafes open to get coffee. It didn't matter though because Oaxaca is so lovely I was just pleased to be here.

We wandered round for a bit then found a cafe and hostel. I only let myself sleep for a few hours as I didn't want to be awake all night so when we got up we did a bit of exploring. We wanted to find a market but instead of picking one of the closer, more touristy markets we found ourselvs at the massive one. I was still tired and wantd some nice fresh mango to much on. Unfortunately the lady doused it with chilli powder and salsa. It wasn't exactly unpleasant but I just wanted the sweet goodness and not some strange sugar chilli mixture.

Anyway, this particular market is so huge that once we entered I had a horrible feeling we were never gonna find our way out again. After we did finally emerge, I'm ashamed to say that I just wanted to go back up to the peaceful, but touristy, Zocalo. I knew I was just too tired to deal with the crazy hustle bustle.

Yesterday we went to Monte Alban, which hosts some ancient ruins of the Zapotecs. This place was stunning although the bus journey up was a little hairy. Actually, the bus journey down was worse. But we survived. Today we're taking it relatively easy but we do plan to hit the markets properly today. Even the massive crazy one. Oh, and we're on a mission to find amazing ice cream and sorbets. My life is just one big chore!!!

Esta No Para Mi

The area I´ve been staying in MC is called the Zona Rosa, meaning the Pink Zone. It is well known in Mexico as being the Gay area and there are many sex shops scattered all over the place.

Me and a friend had been having a few drinks and I suggested we went in to have a look at one of the sex shops. While we were there we both thought it'd be a good idea for my friend to buy his girlfriend a 'special' little present.

There was a woman giving us a bit of a hand (taking various vibrators out of the packaging and making us hold them). She kept asking me questions in Spanish, obviously assuming that me and my friend were a couple and we were shopping for me. I told her "Esta no para mi" (It´s not for me)and let my friend do all the dealing with her.

Once he'd picked out the present he took it to the cash desk to pay for. An older guy came over and his English was obviously pretty good. Just to reinforce that me and my friend were not a couple I said again "Esta no para mi....it's for his girlfriend". The guy was smiling and looking at me like he thought I was blatantly lying and it was for me and I was too embarassed to admit it so I ended up saying to him "I don't need one.....I have already" to which he laughed and looked like he finally believed that we weren´t a couple! It really didn't matter to him whether we were a couple or not but it's just funny the situation's I get myself into trying to prove a point!

Last Few Days In MC

So, only a few days left in the city but I'm so excited about hitting Oaxaca that I'm not sad about leaving. I've had a great time here. I've met so many people here that I haven't had a minute to myself. But it's been a lt of fun. I also booked my flight to Ecuador so I leave for S. America in less than 2 weeks. I had planned to travel through Central America but I don't think it was going to be cost or time effective. My dream was to come to S. America so I feel I've done the right thing in getting there sooner rather than later.

My time here hasn't so much been spent doing a lot of things but meeting a lot of people. There was JF and Jose, a Bulgarian girl, many Canadians, the Texan lawyer, a Norweigian lass and of course, Danny boy, who's coming to Oaxaca with me. I've been to the Zoo twice, climbed a pyramid and had a relaxing boat ride through Mexican canals that led to a La Isla de las Muñecas (Island of the dolls). I won{t write too much about the Island as it is most definitely worth a blog post all of it's own. It really is like something straight from a horror movie though.

I still haven't done this place justice in my writing but I'm hoping I'll have a bit more time when we head down South. My head's also a bit fuzzy at the minute from drinking mezcale last night, which is like my Mexican version of whiskey. Talking of whiskey though, we're going to try and find the Irish bar tonight. Danny met some Mexican guys on the plane journey that he'd like to meet up with as well because they were both very friendly and helpful. Danny's plane was 2 hours late and because I don't have my phone he had no way to let me know. I had to go back to the hostel because it was midnight but obviously I was worried about Danny. He'd explained to one of the guys and he was obviously worried about him too as he went back to the airport to see if Danny was still there. Fortunately another guy who worked at the information desk at the airport had phoned the hostel I was staying at and asked at reception if I was definitely there so Danny knew to get a taxi.

Anyway, I'm going to take Danny to the Centro Historico today because it'd be a shame for him not to see the Zocalo and The Grand Palace. And then we'll probably eat some tacos! I tend to do that most days!

I need Some Sleep

I was very grumpy last night. I've been sharing a dorm room with people that snore. When one person stops another person begins. I knew it wasn´t gonna be a bowl of peaches (I´m not sure where this saying has come from - my ass, probably) sharing dorm rooms but snoring has to be the most annoying, grating noise ever when you´re trying to get to sleep.

So because I couldn´t sleep I was thinking about my life when I get back home. I want a dog so bad but I'm beginning to think I´ll never be in a position to own my own mutt. This depressed me a lot. More than the thought of never having kids. I don´t want to be part of mainstream society anymore. I just want a hut in the forest. I want to pick my fruit for food and eat scrambled eggs all the time. I don´t want to work shitty jobs that supposedly "make the world go round". Whose world? It doesn´t feel like mine.

And I´m also sick of blogging. I´ve written better when I´ve had nothing to write about. I´m here in a totally different part of the world and I should be writing fascinating blog posts but I just can´t get my head together. I´m very tempted just to give up on it altogether. I don´t need to record my experiences. They´ll be safe in my head.

And I Will Always Love You

So Paris is meant to be the City of Romance. Hmmm....more like the city of bad smells. Piss and shit to be precise! I think there´s more romance in Mexico City. Well, romance on one hand, borderline porn on the other.

It´s not uncommon to see couples (both straight and gay) cuddling and kissing each other on the street, on park benches, at the bars. The reason being is that people live with their parents until quite late and, as they are predominantly Catholic, bring the partner home is not acceptable.

But people here are generally more affectionate anyway, with their lovers and their friends. It´s strange for me to hug complete strangers on the first time meeting them but that´s the Irish in me. And when in Rome...

It´s strange but it´s also very heart-warming. When you´re a million miles away from your friends and family it´s nice to have a bit of affection. But it´s the puppy love that I crave. I mean I miss the dogs. There are so many lovely dogs here and I want one!! Or maybe a whole pack.

My main fear before coming here was that I´d be lonely but I really haven´t had a chance to be. Í´d talk to a lampost if it would listen though. And sometimes I find they make the best listeners. But on that note, I have a day planned with A girl from Bulgaria so I shall leave it there for now. Though expect a clicjed post about the Swine Flu very soon.

Oh, if you´re wondering about the title of this post, it´s playing in this internet shop. How apt.And cheesy.

¿Have I Really Only Been Gone 2 Weeks?

This week I have mostly been.....a Fag Hag. Last night I was at a gay bar called Lipstick. Yep, it´s a strange name for a gay bar. The guys that work at the bar don´t wear shirts and as I was waiting for my drink a Mexican guy said to me "I think you want to make sex with the bar man"! Hmmmm not as much as he did methinks!

Also, when I was at the university with Ike the other day (another gay Mexican - I know many!) he was explaining to me what his teacher was a doctor in. His explanation was: He is doctor of....hmmm....if you want to make big boobies!. A plastic surgeon was obviously the term he was looking for.

So while it has been a very gay week (both in sexual orientation and happiness) I´ve felt like I´ve really got to experience Mexican culture. More so than just eating the food and being here. Jose took me and JF to Coyoacan on Thirsday. The name comes from the Aztec meaning "Place of the Coyote" and it´s wear the house of the artist Frieda is. It´s such a different place compared to the area I´m staying in. Much more traditional, with cobbled streets and quaint wee houses. It was so relaxing compared to the hub of the Zona Rosa.

The evenings have been spent drinking Mezcale and having Mexican people try to teach me to dance Salsa. I knew I was terrible but they were very kind and told me it was good for my first effort. Today I have done very little. I didn´t sleep so good last night because 2 of the guys at my youth hostel are snorers so I´ll be happy to try to get an early night and be sleeping long before they start their god-awful nose racket.

Ah, I know I have so much more to write about but my head´s a bit fuzzy today from the Mezcale and Pina Coladas. There´s an Irish bar not too far from here I want to go to some night because they have Irish food. I don´t miss Irish food I´m just really curious to see what Mexicans class as "Irish food". Somehow I can´t really see an Ulster Fry being on the menu. I´ll let ye´s know.

Making Friends In Mexico

After the zoo yesterday I hooked up with a French-Canadian guy and a Mexican guy for some drinks. It was an interesting experience as we were communicating in 3 different languages. Mostly English though. But it was good because we were all helping each other learn. We also picked another Mexican guy on the street. This is because we were walking down the `Gay Bar` street and the French-Canadian locked eyes with this guy and love blossomed right there and then. Well, kind of.

It was a fun night though and the guy we picked up in the street called me Mexican!! I do so like to fit in with the locals. Although, it seems you can take the girl out of Ireland but you can`t take Ireland out of the girl, as I was shouting for more Tequila and everyone else was looking at me like I was crazy.

One of the things I like about talking to people from different places is the humour that goes along with it. Because our understanding of each other`s languages are pretty basic, jokes become pretty basic. I remember in Thailand when I went to pay for my Internet (which was only ever about 10 baht) and I`d ask how much it was and Ice would say "It is ten.....thousand baht". Last night we teased JFC (the French-Canadian) about eating Elk and he said, in Canada, they eat everything, cat, dog, babies! It`s a really silly thing to laugh about but when you can`t make really witty jokes it`s nice to laugh about something.

Now it`s time for me to get ready for a wee visit to some Botanical Gardens (yes mum, gardens!) The reason for this is I was invited by my friends from last night and it`s yet another opportunity for me to learn more Spanish and see a bit more of the city. Also, the plants at the garden are Homeopathic so it`s a little more interesting than just looking at a bunch of daisies!

Beats Belfast Zoo

Today I went to......the Zoo!!! I took my friend's advice and went early in the morning to avoid the crowds of people (it's free everyday so attracts a lot of visitors) and to make sure the animals weren't all hiding in the shade. I could easily go again though when Danny Boy gets here.

Being there reminded me of the last time I went to the zoo. Not only was it crappy old Belfast zoo but it was also in November and freezing. But, it was a surprise planned by my boy and even though it was wet and cold (Belfast Zoo is located half way up a mountain near enough) we had a lovely time. Especially because it was a surprise. I love animals and I love surprises.

Today it was the monkey's and the racoons that won my heart (only 'cos there were no meercats). But, I haven't been to many zoo's, it always breaks my heart to see a gorilla in captivity. I know I should feel the same way about all the animals but gorilla's always have such an air of sadness about them.

Yesterday I went to Parque Mexico. It's a quaint little place where dog-walkers and skateboarders hang out. I was a little hasty in saying all city's are the same. For one, Mexico is not a fast paced city. It's just too hot during the day for people to move fast. I love warm countries because I love street vendors. You can see what's on offer without going into the shop and feeling like you have to buy something. And I love the smell of all the fruit juice venodors on the street. Hmmm all that lovely fresh fruit. I'm away for a fruit shake. And then some beers.

Taking Things Easy

I still haven´t been to the zoo yet but yesterday was Sunday, the busiest day to go (so not much chance of actually seeing the animals) and today is Monday, where most things are closed. The shops and restaurants are all open but musuems and banks are closed. So tomorrow I'll get up bright and early and spend a nice day at the zoo and the park.

I really haven't been doing a whole lot but it's what I needed after the madness of Christmas and getting ready for my travels. I don't really feel like I should be doing anything. It's just nice to finally be here.

As far as cultural differences go, it's kinda hard to write about. I have always felt that city's are much the same all over the world. Mexico city obviously has it's differences but you are still never too far away from a Starbucks or McDonalds. It's certainly a different experience to when I went to Thailand. For a start, I was in a small city in Thailand that, despite the monkey's, didn't see a whole lot of tourists. So, when the locals saw a white face they would stare and shout 'Hello' and giggle with their friends. Obviously they´re much more used to tourists here and so I am ignored for the most part. Which suits me just fine. It's nice to be anonymous. You don't get that in a small town like Ballymena.

I am looking forward to making my way down south. I have plans to go to Oaxaca and San Cristobal De Las Casas before I cross the border to Guatemala. I would like to make a little beach trip though but I haven't decided where yet. Ah, that's the best part, having no real plans to stick to. It's always how I imagined travelling to be. Just ambling along and seing what happens. The reason I'm staying so long in Mexico City is 'cos I'm waiting for Danny Boy to get here and because I have some friends here.

Anyway, today I may go to Parque Mexico, which although is nowhere near as big as the park that houses the Zoo and museums, it is meant to be the nicest park in Mexico. I have always loved parks and just hanging out there to read will be pleasure enough for me.

I Miss My Boy!

I hate that! I was nearly just at the end of finishing a post and it got wiped. I don't really have the heart to sit and write it all again so I'll do it tomorrow. But what I will say is, even though I'm having a lovely time, I miss my boyfriend badly. It's not even been that long but I think it's more the fact that it will be a long time before I see him again. When I do finally see him though it will be in Madrid. The poor thing's never had a holiday abroad before and I fly from Peru to Madrid before flying to London. I thought it would be nice if I could meet him in a totally different city, where the sun will be shining and I should, hopefully, be half fluent in Spanish. Ah.....

Oh, because I've stopped over-indulging in a certain substance (I'll let your overactive imaginations guess what that substance might be) my dreams have returned and they are crraaazzzy. The first mad one I was doing a celebrity bush tucker trial and had to eat cut up chunks of human brain! I can alsmost sort of remember the taste now, kind of chemically. The other one I dreamt that my friend here fell out with me 'cos they were robbed and blamed me. I was going to have to leave Mexico because of it. And last night I dreamt that my friend from home was trying to get out of going to work by eating a worm. She said she could feel it wriggling inside her. So...yeh,Freud would have a field day I'm sure.

So tomorrow I'll try to re-write that blog post and finally get round to writing about my short time in NYC. Unitl then, buenos tardes mis amigos.

The First Proper Post From Abroad

So, the whole rucksack facade has been resolved, thankfully. It was a mission though. One of them situations where if I spoke the language it would have been sorted out pretty quickly but the language barrier just made everything 100 times more difficult.

But now it's sorted I've had a chance to actually start enjoying myself and seeing a bit of Mexico City. I went out for dinner with Chris, Melodie and Sarah on Thursday night and then we drank wine and played Uka at their apartment. The wine was delicious and Uka was very difficult. It's a card game with about 1 million rules. When they were explaining it to me they kept saying "oh, and just one more thing".

Today I went to the Zocalo. This is the famous square in Mexico city. One of the biggest in the world. Unfortunately they're doing a bit of refurbishment at the minute but the Catherdral was absolutley stunning.

Actually, maybe I should write a little about my time in New York. Well, the first day there it rained and because I was trying to do everything on the cheap it kind of limited me a little. The first thing I did do though was go and visit the St. Patrick's Cathedral. Good Catholic girl that I am.

My second day there was much better though. It was cold but the sun was shining so I walked to Central Park. If I ever go back to NY (which I kinda doubt) it'll be in the summer and I'd go with someone else. Having said that I ended up having a surprisingly pleasant night when I went to an Irish bar. One of the guy's who worked there was Irish and he was playing pool with his New Yorker friends. They asked me if I wanted to play so I spent the night hanging out with them drinking whiskey. One of them asked me why I chose that particular bar and I said I was outside and a guy came out for a smoke, so I asked him did they sell Jameson`s and he said yes. That was me sold. They found this hilarious though I'm not quite sure why.

It was a lovely night though and everyone wished me well on travels, told me to be careful, etc. etc. but they were all reaññy genuine, lovley people. That's one thing I'll give NY credit for. For a big city, people are really friendly and helpful.

So, now I'm in Mexico City and there's so much to do here and I'm in no particular rush. It's fantastic. Just ambling about at my own pace, soaking up the sun and culture. I'm staying in the Zona Rosa (Pink Zone) which is kinda like the red light district so there are many gay and lesbian bars and sex shops. And as such, there are more clothes shops for men than there are for women. I noticed this when I thought I would have to buy a whole new wardrobe.

Right, anyway, I guess I won't have anything to blog about if I don't get off my ass and go do something. Walking any distance here is tough though, not just because of the heat but because of the high altitude. Though the bonus of high altitude is that you get drunker quicker. (Un)fortunately for me, I'm Irish and probably would need to be at least 5 km above sea level for this to have any real affect. I'm hardcore me.

At Least They Let Me In

It´s been a long 36 hrs. That´s how long I´ve been awake. Tell a lie, I did snatch 3 hrs earlier on but I´m not convinced it was the most restful of naps.

I arrived in Mexico City at 5 O´Clock this morning. My rucksack didn´t. Apparently this happens all the time but it was the last thing I was expecting. I was worrying about everything else but. The guy at the airport said he´d forward it to my hostel but didn´t actually write down the address of my hostel. I´ve been trying to phone them all day but they don´t answer. I just hope when I go back to the airport tomorrow it´ll be waiting for me. If not I´m just gonna have to buy everything I need. Luckily I´m in one of the cheapest places for it though I didn´t really account for it in my budget.

The clothes aren´t important. Nothing in it really is except my camera. But I´d bought a Paulo Cohelo book in New York called Brida about an Irish girl who meets a wise man who lives in the woods and teaches her to trust in the goodness of people and she meets a woman who teaches her to dance to the music of the world. I bought it because I believe in these philosophies and I love Paulo Cohelo. I´m a bit gutted about that too but it´s not like I´ll never get to read it.

Aside from that though it´s fantastic being in Mexico. I met up with Chris this morning who showed me around a bit and informed me there is a Zoo at the park, which is free on Sundays. That´s definitely on my list of things to do. It´s just great being somewhere different ¨{NYC doesn´t count as being different}. I love different cultures and it reminds me of my time in Thailand. Not that the cultures are similar but just that feeling of newness and adventure.

That´s how I met Chris and his fiance actually. In Thailand. And it´s been a big help having a friendly face around. We´re gonna go out for Mescale (a tequila like licquor derived from the cactus plant) on Friday night and eat the best (according to Chris) tacos in the whole of Mexico and, possibly, the world.

I tried phoning home but it´s far too confusing. But I explained my problem to the guy at the internet shop and he was really helpful and phoned the airport for me (they didn´t answer for him either) but even him just trying to help was enough to console me a bit.

Mel said they lost her luggage at JFK as well. So they seem to have a problem transporting it. Excuse my language but they´re fucking noobs. And what kind of way is that to honour one of their greatest Presidents? Making a total royal fuck-up. Tomorrow´s a new day though and regardless if I get this sorted the sun will be shining.

Everything Comes Together

I don't need to worry about losing my bank card. I got a travel card at the post office yesterday and today my other bank card arrived in the post. My sleeping bag also arrived today so no stressing about that anymore either. I've started my packing and getting quite worried about carrying it everywhere as it nearly killed me bringing in a bucket of coal today.

That's pretty much everything sorted now. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a lovely relaxing day but something tells me that just ain't gonna happen. I was meant to meet some friends for a couple of drinks last night. The plan was to have a couple and then spend the rest of the night with my boy (the one that I thought I shouldn't be with because I was going away but then I realised that I really loved him and 5 months wasn't that long a time). And obviously we spent a romantic night in, cuddling by the fire and whispering sweet nothings. We didn't stay out drinking 'til the pubs kicked us out and then insist that Half Term Kerm and JL come back for more drinks and a serenading session. Oh no! It was a good night out but when I woke up this morning (late) I sort of wished that we'd stuck to the original plan.

It was a lovely night though and JL got me some lovely things to take with me. The best thing was a notebook with photos of mum, baby M, the pets, my boy, maltesers and a meercat! Some people know just exactly how to make me smile. I'm sure I'll be able to squeeze in one more post before I go but if not the next time I blog will be from New York!

Lots Of Money But No Means To Spend It

I guess I'm not technically on holiday until I start get a lie-in in the morning. I was up at the crack of dawn today to sort more stuff. First on the agenda was the bank. I'd applied for a new account so I'd have a spare debit card to take in case I lost my main one. I'd gone in last week saying I'd got my pin before Christmas but no card yet. The girl assured me my card would be there in a couple of days. But no. I went in today and a different clerk told me that the card had been sent on 15th December and I should have got it by now. She had no choice but to cancel the card and order a new one. The new one will take 7 working days. I have 3 working days before I go. When I asked her if there was anything else I could do she just just smiled sympathetically as she shook her head and said, "You're just going to have be really careful with your card". Like I hadn't planned to already be really careful with my card. It's not much use to me when someone has mugged me and I have sufficient money in the bank to buy myself a nice warm cup of coffee and something to eat but absolutely no means of accessing it.

The next stop was the Citizen's Advice Bureau. This went much better than the bank. I was getting some advice on where I stood with D2 and getting my final wages and the guy informed me that if I didn't get paid what I needed was a RP1 form. I don't really understand the ins and outs of but he was basically telling me that I hadn't worked for nothing. Someone would pay me what was owed. Then when I got home I'd received a letter from a company I didn't recognise but knew it had something to do with D2 because it was addressed to Hannah Clarke Bowyer. Obviously my middle name is not Clarke and whatever illegible scrawl my old manager had made she'd added an extra 'K' in for good measure. So the company have been bought over and it seems my wages are safe one way or the other. I kinda had a good feeling they would be but I guess I shouldn't count my chickens until the money is safely in my bank account.

I also squeezed in 2 walks with Miss Martha. The first one was to give Z a bit of time to get a few things done and the second one was for the dogs. Though Miss Martha took advantage of that one too.

My heart leaps with joy every time I think about sitting in the warm sun supping on a pina colada. My mate Danny will be joining me at the beginning of February for a couple of weeks. Danny also visited me when I was in Thailand. I have to keep him away from motorbikes and he has to keep me away from basketball courts.

A Total Shower Of C**ts

This day next week I'll be in the York of New. Still freezing my balls off but I guess that won't bother me so much as everything will be new and interesting. It only occurred to me last week that I should take a sleeping bag with me. You'd think this would be one of the first things I'd have sorted out but common sense isn't really a strong point of mine.

As it turns out, the 'shit' job may not be paying me my final wages and holiday pay. The reason being the company (D2 by the way, a clothes shop that probably would have done alright if it was managed properly) have gone into administration. It's galling to think of how I worked my ass off, possibly for nothing. Especially when I'd tried to hand my notice in 3 times. I was wrecked working them hours. Good for nothing. Unable to spend quality time with my family and friends. And now it might've all been for nothing.

I know when I'm basking in the sun this will be the last thing on my mind but just as the minute, while it's all up in the air and it's still in my face, I feel pretty pissed off. It's just the icing on the cake from this company. All the shit that I've put up with from them and I might not even get what is owed to me. Still, it's not just me who's affected. There will be people within the company who aren't relying on the money for the holiday of a lifetime but to feed and heat their family. Our government sucks. But you live and you learn. I hope. I have learned to trust my gut instinct. I have never liked mixing letters and numbers together. D2 have just confirmed this.

Another One Bites The Dust

Oh yeah, Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year. Most people said they had a quiet one but mine was pretty busy. A good kind of busy, though, that involved much socialising and much drinking.

Tomorrow is my last day of work! This makes me so happy. I look back now on all the 12 and 13 hour shifts I worked and it all of a sudden seems worth it. It was tough but I've earned the most massive reward. A long blissful holiday of chilling and relaxing.

I had a wisdom tooth taken out today. I was almost fearing it more than the flight to New York. It wasn't too bad though. The last time I had a tooth pulled I was so disorientated with pain I came home with a lovely sax that cost me a fortune. It was so sore and raw I'd felt totally violated. This time I was able to go visit Z and baby M and dance and sing and nurse baby M to sleep. Her Granda Bo will be pleased to hear she is a fan of Elbow.

I haven't been great at blogging lately. Just too much going on and my head's too cluttered with thoughts. I will be happy to experience some serenity and calmness. My idea of a perfect life would be to travel round S. America learning carpentry, Tai Chi and the saxophone and adopting a dog called Rusty. I'll be happy just to travel for now though.

Anyway, time for me to do other stuff. Like maybe take some more pain killers for the big gaping hole in my mouth where my tooth of wisdom used to be.

One Month Today

The Fear as really hit me. It's one month today that I embark upon my journey. That would be ok if I could just sit and wait for it to happen but I've still a million and one tings to do. And work is so busy that it's difficult to muster the energy to do anything on my time off.

Today I have to visit the quack and see what injections I need. Then I have to go into town and do pretty much ALL my xmas shopping. Then I have to come home and sort out the mountain of dirty washing that's been piling up in my room. I have to go to the bank and deposit many, many bags of change I've been hoarding. Today is my only chance to do all this as it's my only day off between now and Christmas day (well, I'm off on Sunday but will no doubt be nursing a pretty spectacular hangover after my work xmas do).

So today is rather precious but instead of getting stuck into everything I need to do I've chose to blog about it first. I clearly have my priorities right. Next week my girls get here (Mels and Dirt Bird) so it's important that I get all the mundane stuff out of the way so I can enjoy some quality time with them. Mel, mum and I will partake in a Boxing Day Bun Off, which should be fun, and Dirt Bird has requested a lesson in Nelly's special pancake-making skills. There will be some Weston's Perry (£1.29 a pint and 7.4% alcohol!!!!) drank, whiskey, wine and maybe even a wee Buckfast or too. Buns will be eaten and smokes will be smoked.

Then after I eat like a horse over the festive period I have the pleasure of having a wisdom tooth removed. I may do what Z done and keep my tooth in a little box and take it with me. I don't like the idea of not being so wise. Right, off I go to do stuff that needs to be done.

From A to B

I'm a traveler who doesn't really like traveling. I'm not sure if it's laziness or a disliking to being confined to vessels and timetables. I think it's more the latter as I hate being restricted. Though it is part laziness too as there's so much organising involved and I am not a big fan of organising.

I have been wondering for years now, why haven't they invented teleportation? And not this silly notion of needing portals to get from A to B, no, an actual button at the side of our neck that instantly transports us from one place to the other. So when we're too drunk to walk we can just teleport home.

So anyway, I love being in other places and I don't mind traveling if it's aimlessly, with no place to be at no particular time. But I hate long distance flights and bus journey's. They are long and boring, and I can't get off the plane whenever I want. I always loved the idea of jumping on a train and getting off whenever I felt like it or when I liked the look of a town. Everything's so regimented these days though it's hard to travel with real freedom.

Though, I suppose I should also note that, it's whilst taking these plane and bus journey's that you have some of your best experiences because there's so much opportunity to interact with people. Not only that, the actual traveling part gives you time for reflection, or reading, or writing or knitting (if that's your kind of thing), all of which are enjoyable. I still think they should hurry up and invent teleportation though.

Down The Pub

D put this pic up on Flickr. He titles it Martha's Reaction At Final Whistle He admitted that he used a little artistic license but she was watching the Ireland Vs S. Africa match that Saturday and she Ireland did win so it wasn't total lies.

In other news...I did go into work that next day (after threatening to walk out) and I did say to my boss: I'm giving you my one week's notice, do you want it in writing. I'm still not free from their evil clutches though. I didn't have the heart to let her down over Christmas. My New Year's Resolution is to grow some balls.

Fat Face Freddy's diet totally fell to an arse and, not only that, the good Holly cat is getting kinda chubby too. I think the kitekat self service is back on. Oh, and Auntie Ganching was home last weekend. She regaled me with stories of horrendous bus crashes in S.America and listed off all the dangers I would most definitely face (kidnapping, rape, muggings, murder). I'm all set now to face an almost certain horrific death. Least I'll die in a nice warm country.

Getting Stuff Done

I booked my flight home from S.America to London via Madrid. I'm gonna spend a couple of days in Madrid then I land in London 2 days before Katkins wedding. I'm glad I've booked it because it means I don't need to worry about spending all my money on whiskey. It was also beginning to roar my head looking at endless flights home via different routes. The way that I'm traveling I won't have to back track on myself.

Also, it has put mum's mind at rest that I won't be landing in New York and not allowed into the country because I've no return flight home. That doesn't matter though because I'm worried that they might not believe the person in my passport photo is actually me. It was taken years ago and I've been told many times that I look like a serial killer in it (especially if it's a photocopy).

I also did my online ESTA thingy. They approved it but say it doesn't guarantee me entry into the USA. I maybe should've got a new passport. Especially considering one of Brad's darling cats peed on it in Thailand. I've been sorting stuff out left, right and centre but it still feels like there's a lot to do. I'm currently trying to delete all the shite off my itunes so I've got the perfect playlist for traveling. I remember when me and Earthworm Jim went backpacking round Europe we spent days making several mini disc compilations. We bought external speakers for it and stocked up in loads of batteries. We remembered to bring everything but the mini discs. Now technology is so clever I don't have to worry about bringing the discs. But I will cry if I forget my ipod.

When Bad Days Turn Good

It's funny how sometimes it can take 'til about 10 O'clock at night before your day starts getting good. I only started work (the shit job) at one today but 7 minutes in and I was already enraged. Mum called in to get her purse at two and she said she could feel the anger. I'm not normally like this but I think I'm pretty stressed about going away and trying to juggle two jobs while fitting in time for everything else. Not to mention that I'm still feeling pretty bluee about breaking up. I felt like an absolute demon today.

But demon's must be entitled to some joy too because I had the pleasure of seeing little Martha not once, not twice but thrice. My dad also had good news today and I couldn't be more chuffed for him! And within the space of a couple of days I've found 3 people to meet up with in Mexico. The most important being young Danny Boy who came to visit me in Thailand. And while he was sitting at Noom's bar one afternoon as I was at school he befriended a dude, Chris, from Australia and a chica from Canada, Melodie. Later that night Danny proposed to Melodie and then he proposed to Chris. He also proposed to a few other people and although romance wasn't in the air for Danny that night, it was for Chris and Melodie who hooked up and have been together ever since. But they, too, are in Mexico and will be until July so Danny and I will are gonna visit them. Chris has promised to build me basketball hoop!

But definitely the best news of today is that probably for sure I will be getting full time hours with the good job, which means I can tell the boss of the shit job to go boil her head in a pan of fucking oil. Even if it all backfires on me I don't care. I'd rather go to S.America with less money and work there if I have to rather than work myself into a frenzy so that I'm all wound up for traveling, which I know would spoil the first few weeks away. There's more to life than working every hour God sends.

Gosh, is that the time? I need to get a good night's sleep for tomorrow I'll be letting the boss from the shit job know that I don't need the hassle and I just don't care.

My Lovely Sax

I was talking to Mel the other night. She was telling me how she'd paid a fortune for glasses lenses and it gutted her. I wonder how many people actually say "I should have gone to Specsavers" because I know I have. Everything's just a money spin. But how we both laughed as I reminisced about the time I went to trade in my old sax for the new one just after having a tooth pulled. I was in such horrendous pain that I heard the right numbers, I just got them the wrong way round.

I went home all chuffed with myself saying to Bert (who was there and witnessed the part exchange) how brilliant it was that I got a new sax for £80. Then Bert informed me that, no, they'd paid me £80 for my old sax and I'd bought the new one for £200. I didn't believe him 'til I pulled out my card receipt. I was pretty gutted. Then again, I had a new saxophone to console myself with. A lovely saxophone. That gets played once every few months. By Bert.

Nelly Has The Pleasure

So, I contacted Maltesers the other day via their website. I just dropped them a little line to ask about the MaltEaster bunnies they brought out last year. They have reassured me that there are plans to make chocolate bars but they will also be bringing out the bunnies next Easter. This might mean though that someone will have to post me a batch to S.America. God I hate this country but God I love the chocolate.

I'm totally at a loss in my life. Sitting here waiting in limbo for my trip. I feel disjointed. I have no kids, boyfriend, pets or plants. Nothing and nobody needs me and I feel kinda empty and void. The only person who needs me (or thinks she needs me) is Pearlie, and that's for things like taking her stockings off. My calling in life is so glamorous! Yesterday I was let off taking her stockings off due to being in 'bad form'. Nelly had the joy instead. I believe this was the interchange between stocking-taker-offer and stocking-taker-offee:

Offer: Right, so you want these stockings off then?

Offee: Aye, but where's Hannah? Hannah could take them off.

Offer: Hannah's in 'bad form' so I'll do it.

Offee: How could she be in 'bad form' sure she was off work all day!

Offer: That's why she's in 'bad form'. She'd rather be out working.


Anyway, Nelly was half right. I don't mind the odd day off but working all weekend and then having a Monday and Tuesday off isn't great for my social life. On the other hand, though, it is good for my traveling fund.

The Washing Machine Of My Mind

I'm in one of those moods today where I'm wondering: what's it all about? I'm not happy, or sad, just 'Ho Hum'. The pissy weather isn't helping. And I'm wondering why we don't have a National Dancing Day yet because surely that would put a smile on everyone's face.

Dylan Moran has the perfect answer for how he fills his day. He has no hobbies or pastimes, in fact, he finds them sinister. So what does he do with his day? He spends most of his time in the washing machine of his own mind, thinking: What's this? When does it end? Do I like it? I don't know. Oh, it's time to go to sleep. I can't sleep, I'm worried.

I'd quite like to employ a personal assistant at the minute, y'know, someone to basically think for me while I happily forget everything and play escape games. I'm pretty sure I should be making appointments to see the doc about vaccinations and I should probably do my ESTA thing and be looking into health insurance. The days are just rolling by and I'm no further ahead. The only thing that's in my head at the minute are leaving do's. I've already figured I need to have at least 6 parties to incorporate everyone I want to say goodbye to. I'll probably be dying from one big accumulative hangover by the time I board my flight but this actually seems like quite a desirable state to leave in. If I'm hungover I will be too distracted to worry.

Anyone know any good Irish bars in New York?

I Could Boke Thinking About It

Nelly and Bert had pumpkin soup for dinner tonight. It was homemade by Nelly using pumpkin's grown in Nelly's garden and chillies grown in Wee Les' Wee garden (I don't know if it's a wee garden but it can't be too big otherwise Wee Les wouldn't be able to look after it).

Due to bastarding toothache soup seemed like a damn good idea to me, but one mouthful of Nelly's pumpkin soup, with Wee Les' kick ass chillies, was enough for me to know that eating a whole bowlful would be a painful experience. My eyes lingered over the Cup-A-Soup but I thought I'd go for a can of Baxter's Leek and Potato instead.

As I poured the contents from the can I thought it looked different but I heated it up and buttered my bread and sat down to dine. After one spoonful I knew something was amiss. But how could soup from a can be fusty? I asked Bert to taste it but he'd just eaten the last of his marzipan bar and wasn't forsaking the sugary taste in his mouth for anything. I checked the date on the can. Fine. I remarked upon the weirdness of it to mum and she assumed that it was probably just not very nice soup.

So back to my bowl. I dipped some bread in and concentrated on the taste of butter. I ate half a slice of bread then chanced another spoonful. No way! The smell hit my nose before the spoon entered my mouth.

There's definitely something wrong with that soup!

I asked Bert again but he was still enjoying his sugar high. I took the bowl into mum. She sniffed. Just a stinking soup according to her expert nostrils. Then she tasted a mouthful and squealed.

Eeeuuuggghhh!!! It's sour!

I bloody knew it! I knew it yet I tried to endure it. Forced myself to eat half a slice of bread with it. And then the thought of it just turned me. Mum reckoned it tasted like snot. Bert scrunched his face up talking about rancid, slimy leeks. I am a little bit traumatised.

In other news: Fat Face Freddy is off the diet. Bert kept "forgetting" (Bert does have a terrible memory but I'm inclined to believe that he's just too soft to cut down Fred's food intake). So tonight when I walked into the kitchen and saw Freddy devouring a bowl of food the size of a small mountain I confiscated it. And then when I caught him finishing off what was in Holly cat's bowl I confiscated that too. At which point he decided if he couldn't eat the rest of his dinner he was gonna eat poor Holly cat. So, the diet's off. Purely for the sake of Holly cat of course.

Fat Face Freddy

The other night when Nelly was writing this post we got chatting about her obsession for dead animals. I reckoned I must have inherited this desire as I recall, when I was a youngster, taking great pleasure in retrieving any dead mouse or shrew the cat brought back. I liked to give them a proper burial. Mum was wondering was it just a thing children do. I said it must have been as I remembered big sister Z being most appalled when she saw a dead mouse, in a clear plastic freezer bag, sitting on the kitchen table one morning before school. Obviously I hadn't time to bury it before school and was keeping it in the freezer bag for later when I got home. Hey, that's what wee sisters are for. Just like big sisters are for making you believe that bears live in the woods.

We called out to see baby M (not Z or D, just baby M!) after work tonight. I got to have a nice cuddle with Martha. The first proper one in fact. I think this is because I'm not so scared of breaking her now. And she didn't seem so grumpy about being cuddled. She normally cries when placed in my arms. I don't know if it's just coincidence or if she actually hates me.

Fish Face Freddy is officially the fattest cat in Ireland and is now on a part-time diet. I say part-time because if it's Bert feeding him he forgets. All you gotta do is look at his massive bulging gut to remember that he's too damn fat and needs to be on a diet. Also, the kitty hardnuts are no longer accessible on a self service basis. And no more Freddy finishing off the remains of Holly's dinner. Fat bastard!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Breaking up is hard to do but there are good break ups and there are bad break ups. I never really talked about my boy on my blog. For a few reasons. For the fact that it's kinda hard announcing that you've met someone you like in an sphere that's so public, especially when you know that the person you like will read it. It's also hard if you're not actually sure where that relationship's going and you're just wanting to take things slowly and casually. It's also hard when you know, even before you've embarked on that relationship, that it was always going to be temporary because you never planned on staying in that place where that person is. You always knew that one day it'd be over because you were going somewhere far away for an indefinite period of time.

Breaking up is hard to do. Especially when you love someone deeply but you knew, right from day one, you never stood a chance. And if I'm giving the impression that this love was one-sided. It wasn't. It was always reciprocated. It was mutual. We showed it in different ways but we both showed it and we both felt it and it was divine. It was a soft, comforting blanket wrapped round our hearts and cheeks and souls. It was what it was and it was enjoyed until it stopped becoming enjoyable.

Breaking up is hard to do. But sometimes it's the right thing to do. And when 2 people can realise this, accept it and leave each other, not with bitterness, but with kind words and respect and appreciation and thought, then it's a good break up. And in my eyes, that's true love. When you care about a person so much that you can let them be free. When their happiness is more important that yours because if they're happy, you'll be happy. And you know it's a good break up if you look at what you've shared and you don't regret a thing, you just try to figure out the lesson that life is teaching you. Aye, there are good break ups and there are bad break ups.

Either way though, it still hurts.

Joy Riding Dreams

The other night I had a dream so damn ludicrous I have to share it with the world. Mel and I were driving in her mum's car. We'd left it briefly to call into a shop to get sweets and when we came back there were 4 young hoody-wearing, joy-riding yobs driving away in the good car. Fortunately, they weren't driving that fast so we were able to chase them. Unfortunately, the only thing I had to stop them from stealing the car was a pair of dirty knickers, which I proceeded to rub in the face of the driver so that he couldn't see where he was going. He crashed, repeatedly, into a lamp post!

Dad, The Lovely Linda and Katkins and her future hubby have joined us in the Land Of Ire for a week of holiday fun and mid term madness. Katy is making a crustless quiche and there's a special Nigelly cake in the fridge. There's Jameson's on the sideboard and I have a mechanic helicopter to construct. Surely it don't get much better than that?

Is Carlos More Crazy Than The Zombie Catepillars?

I have been trying to blog but I think I'm a bit sick of myself. Sick of the things I write and they way I write about them. The weekend was good. I spent Saturday night in the local with a low-key crowd that consisted of some part-time musicians, full-time alcoholics, two woman, both mad but in different ways, a sweet young gay guy who has befriended me, and Carlos, whose possibly from Spain but most likely from the moon.

Carlos is a regular at the bar. He acts like a crazy but harmless fool. But he's crazy in a way which makes you wonder if he's putting it on. I really don't know his story and neither does anyone else. He talks to many but no one really understands him. I can't help get the impression he just finds it easier that way. Pretending to be mad rather than trying to get people to understand him. I was thinking of trying it out for a bit.

I couldn't help but get totally fascinated by the caterpillars that were crawling up the outside window one day last week. I went out for a closer inspection and noticed the caterpillars were lying over these bundles of yellow pods. I asked Bert about them but all he knew was that the caterpillars came from the cabbages. Turns out that tiny wasps sting larvae into the 'pillars and this makes them head up high, where the larvae explodes out of them, killing them. I was reading all about it here. Bert brought some into the house with the cabbages. He said he kept trying to chuck them in the compost but they kept crawling out. That's because they're programmed to head up high so the larvae can explode. Bert should no better than to try to upset the course of nature.

Sweet Eggs

When it comes to cooking dinner I only really have a few dishes; Thai curry (haven't made one of these for ages as my version of a Thai curry takes about 2 hours to make and 2 hours is something I just don't have these days); Fajitas (technically, this is cheating, as I buy the Old El Paso kits); Sausage Surprise (this is a fairly 'loose' dish. The surprise is basically whatever veg and sauces and herbs there are lying around; and, last but not least, omelette.

Last night I decided to make omelette for me and mum. It was a very tasty cheese and ham omelette which was very much enjoyed by mum and myself. But, even when you're the ripe old age of 27 there are still lessons to be learned:

I asked mum if she wanted some bread buttered. She said aye. I asked her did she want plain white bread. She said she'd take a bit of wheaten. I buttered her wheaten and left some dinner in for Pearlie. When I sat down at the table mum said:

By the way, that wasn't wheaten bread, it was treacle bread.

What mad cat baker thought it was a good idea to cunningly disguise some treacle bread as an innocent wheaten soda farl? Aw well, mum wasn't bothered. She said it tasted 'interesting'.

Bad To The Bone (And Pure Clean Rotten)

My tiny little mind may actually inflate to the point of explosion, spraying bits of skull and brain juice everywhere. The dogs will probably come and sniff at it, lick a little bit up. Paddy dog might even stash a bit of my skull away for 'ron.

Talking of bones for the dogs. My friend at work's dad got some more bones for Paddy and Bonnie. She told me this on Monday but I was working at my other job and said I'd get them the next day. Can you see where this story's going? I walked into work on Saturday morning, slightly tired, a wee bit hungover. As I walked in I noticed a funny smell. I was too polite to say anything but then Miss JL mentioned it and I agreed there was, indeed, a bad smell. It wasn't 'til she asked what was in the fridge that I said:

Oh no, I forgot to take those bones for the dogs!

Cue lots of squealing, lots of laughing and the other girl being physically sick. Miss JL was also hungover. What a way to start the day off! And, to be fair, it didn't get much better.

Caught In The Act

I haven't worn a watch for years. I had a Garfield watch when I was younger and, when I lost it, nothing else could replace it. I've had a few novelty ones over the years but their life spans were always limited. Now I just use my mobile as a clock and alarm. But I have strange habits with digital clocks. A while ago, for about 6 months, I had my clock set to half an hour before the real time. It was grand if it was half past something, or quarter to or on the hour but if it was 14:37 my brain struggled to work out what a half hour before that was.

Now I have developed another strange habit and that is to set my alarm clock to random times like 07:36 or 07:13. Of course, this is always about 3/4 of an hour before I actually have to get up and when I hit the snooze a few times it becomes really hard to figure out how long I've got left in bed. I guess the whole point of this exercise is to make sure I'm fully wakened before I have to rise.

I was working at both jobs today. It meant working from 9-9 but I need all the dollar I can get. About half seven tonight (when I was working at the old job) I decided that we needed coffee but there was no milk or sugar. Rather than waste money on buying milk and sugar I decided to run up to the food court an ask one of the cafes if I could take some sachets. I felt kinda rude because I wasn't buying the coffee from them but scabbing their coffee condiments. She was lovely though and told me to help myself. When I turned round I saw a familiar face smiling at me. My boss from the new job. I don't why but I was really embarrassed. And not only that but caught in the act skiving from my other job to get stuff for coffee. Of course he could have just assumed that I was out on a break but I always get all flustered and awkward when I'm doing something I shouldn't be. It also didn't help that when I saw him I jumped and said "Oh, caught in the act!"

Happy

I am now, officially, an auntie! I say officially because I have been, unofficially, an auntie to many, many dogs over the years. I love dogs but I gotta say, being an auntie to a real live human being that will, one day, walk and talk and do many amazing things, well, it's just much better.

Also, my dad's coming to visit at the end of the week and I haven't seen him for ages and it just hit me over the past couple of days how much I miss him. In fact, over the next few weeks it's gonna be very family-orientated and I'm in the mood for embracing them.

Ages ago Zoe gave me a film. It was slide film, which she recommended I get cross-processed. To save myself having to explain, or bore you if you're not interested, here's a wee link that explains cross-processing. So I decided to do a bit of experimenting. I used a macro lens that a chick kindly gave to me years ago and done a few close-up shots of various plants in the garden. I'm not a big fan of flower photography but with the macro lens and cross-processing I managed to get some nice shots.

But the best thing about those photos was that mum, Bert and I sat looking at them together with mum and Bert trying to figure out what plant was what and what shed was what. It turns out I developed the photos back to front though. Aw well, they were perfect other than that. Even Pearlie liked them.

Oh, and did I mention I was an auntie. A real one. To a real person. Her name's Martha and she's gorgeous. She's so great that I'm gracing Next with my present for the first time since leaving there.

The Cryptic Canvas

I got hopelessly addicted to this movie game for a week. I could only get about 15 on my own, then I had a little help from the boy and then, when both of our heads were tortured, I googled the last few answers. I don't know why I embarked upon such a mission as I'm the worst film buff ever. I can watch a whole film and only realise at the end that I've watched it before. I haven't been to the cinema in over 3 years. Couldn't even tell you what I went to see. Although I can kinda still remember the amazing mix-up I got that cost about a million pounds. I hate the cinema.

Anyway, this game done my swede in, big time, but because I had to google the last few answers there wasn't even any satisfaction in completing it. I mean, Iris, who's ever heard of a film called Iris? Take my advice, unless you know a lot about movies, and are good at crypic (and also blatantly obvious) clues, don't start this game.

Give A Dog A Bone

Last Friday the poor dogs were on their own from half eight in the morning to half nine at night. They were beside themselves when me and Jakers landed back Friday night. Nelly and Bert were in the 'burgh of Edin, you see, visiting the Lovely Mel. I went into work o Saturday and Miss JL had a bag of bones for the doggies. She be the daughter of a butcher and so has access to all kinds of bone treats for dogs.

I left them outside in the yard but the dogs weren't one bit interested in them. You'd think that giving dogs a bone would be as easy as, well, giving a dog a bone. They must have thought they weren't allowed them because when I looked outside the bones were gone. Paddy was spotted in the lawn the next day chowing down on a big cow knee bone. Dirty dawg.

I'm still really enjoying my new job. It occurred to me that although I get on with the girls from my old work, they are all young and their interests lie solely around clothes, make-up and clothes. It's refreshing to work with people who are closer to my own age and especially when one of them is my very first best friend ever. Even though we drifted and lost contact for so many years, when I talk to her now I remember why she was my best friend. Also, we are in the same boat. 27, living at home, not sure what to do with our lives. We share the same kind of worries and hopes about life. Jaysus, is that the time? I'm away to make some scran.

Spuds From Nelly's Garden

As we sat down to a feed of spuds tonight Nelly and Bert kept commenting on how awesome the potatoes were. I've heard them, and Pearlie, chatting about great potatoes before but to me spuds are just spuds. Bert commented on the two I picked from the plate saying they were the last two he'd go for. He put my lack of knowing a good potato down to me being half English. If I was pure bred Irish I'd know the difference between a good spud and a bad spud.

So Nelly was asking me if I felt like I was half English and I said I did when I was younger and I thought England was brilliant and Ireland was shit but less so now that I'm older and I think England's shit and Ireland's brilliant. I think I became sentimentally Irish when I went to uni in England and I got sick of having to repeat everything I said and people making 'Irish' jokes and comments about potatoes (Ha! How ironic). And as Dylan Moran points out, English people just can't help mocking our accents. I do love the English though, hating them would be like hating myself. And there are many, many brilliant English people just the same as there are many, many Irish tossers.

1.21 Gigawatts!

Jeez, I just really don't have it in me at the minute to be funny or interesting or insightful. I dunno. I'm happy. I work less at the old job, more at the new job, so I'm earning more money and my work time is one million times better. I've got my boy by my side who's a sweetie. It was mum's birthday last night and we had take-away and champagne and Thorton's chocolates that are so posh neither Bert or I could understand the instructions. Thank god Nelly was there, with her sophisticated vocabulary, to show me and Bert which were the orange and caramel sweets.

It's not even that my life is dull. I just can't blog about most the stuff that I want to. Bert was pulling the lines out of the bag last night and they were hilarious but I can't repeat any of them. Especially the comment he made about me going to the doctor with my sore shoulder.

Back To The Future 2 was on a few weekends ago and I remembered how much I loved it as a youngster. I remembered asking my dad what "to be continued..." meant and when he told me it meant there would be another film I couldn't contain my excitement. I don't how many years there was between the first and second but to me it felt like a decade. In fact, here's a wee clip from it that makes me giggle.

What, Exactly, Is Moral Turpitude?

Well, since I last blogged I have spoiled my sister's birthday present from her beloved boyfriend, I've been dropped on my head whilst participating in a bit of 'Eccky Fun' (not as fun as it sounds) and have been working two jobs. I have to be just about the luckiest chick in town.

The dropping on my head incident left me with a bad shoulder. I think my head sunk right into my neck and that's never a good thing. I was drunk at the time. That's twice now I think I've avoided paralyzing myself with the aid of alcohol. The other time was when I fell from the basketball hoop. Alcohol relaxes your muscles so your more bouncy i guess.

Anyway, what else, what else? Nothing really. I'm getting prepared for my travels by learning Spanish and my copy of the Rough Guide to S. America: On a Budget arrived today. Also, the weather has been pure peeesh and I am dreaming of sunny beaches. I went into work the day after mum had me panicked about biometric passports and realised that I can get them there! I thought they were some kind of micro chipped passport with a barcode and you'd have to have your whole body scanned going through customs. But no, a biometric passport is just a normal passport but with strict photo requirements. I did do a bit of research though and learnt that I'd have to apply online for what they call an ESTA (Electronic System for Traveling Authorisation. Check the application out for a laugh! It's the questionnaire that tickles me.

Back Online!!

I spent a very harrowing couple of weeks there with no internet access for my laptop. I was able to check my mail on Mum's PC but it's not the same as having your own wee computer. I took it for granted. I never realised how much I use the web as an expression of my identity. And as a means of escape.

I briefly got back into old-fashioned writing and I even toyed with the idea of doing a painting. I was put off this notion though when I failed to create a masterpiece with pastels. I tuned my guitar. In the wrong key. So no singing was done as I find it hard enough singing in the right key, let alone the wrong key. It was only a few weeks back that I blamed the internet for my lack of creativity but seems it just ain't in me at the minute, regardless of external factors.

Really, I could have used my internet-free couple of weeks more constructively but I just wasn't in the mood to do anything. Everyday it seemed like there was something to look up or something to blog about. Typically, I've forgotten all of it but I do know that I need to research biometric passports as mum's put the notion in my head that they won't let me into New York without one.

And here is a link to me da's flickr which, no doubt, will be plastered in photos of Z's babby in a few months time. At the minute you can see a piture of the delicious hot waffles and ice cream we had at the waffle House in Norwich. Hmmm.

The Boy On The Shoestring Hammock

I woke up under a dark sky. Two cherry trees were illuminated by the light of a star. A shoestring was tied from one tree to the other. There was a boy lying on the shoestring hammock. He smiled and the star shone brighter.

"Come, come lie with me" He said.

"But you're lying on a shoestring, there's no room for me"

He held out his hand to me, "Come".

The scent of cherries filled my nose. I felt a warm sensation like silk against my cheek and honey down my throat. He wrapped me in his arms and we spun round and round and round. We laughed like two kids at the playground. The ride stopped and we melted into the calm. The trees hummed a sweet song, lulling us to sleep. When we woke I asked where we were.

"We're here" said the boy.

"But where is 'here'?"

"'Here' is where we are" he said, "And 'here' is where we'll always be"

Fusty

I love aweets, I really do. But I should've known better than to go to that shop and buy a 20p mix-up. I'm pretty sure those sweets have been there a long time. They tasted fusty* and they are ridiculously overpriced. A penny sweet costs 2p, a small refresher chew costs 5p (I don't know what it's RRP is but they ain't worth 5p). They sell single malteasers for 4p!!!!! These malteasers obviously fell out of their packaging in 1987. I love malteasers but I wouldn't eat these ones if you paid me let alone charge me 4p for the privelage of suffering from food poisoning.

Still, I ate the mix-up and now I'm waiting for the hallucinations to kick in, like when Lisa was dared by Bart to drink the dirty water at Krusty Land. I hope it's not a bad trip. I have visions of Willy Wonka and his singing oompa loompa's.

Tonight I sort of gave up on driving. I lost the head with it last Thursday and could not be tempted out tonight for love nor money (well, definitely not love, maybe money). Mum used her maternal cunning on me though and before I knew it I was out in the car, for a wee while anyway. Y'see, Bert's a good teacher, patience being his strong point but it was good for me to get a female perspective on it too. While Bert had explained to me to feel the bite when you let off the clutch mum had said listen for the car to let you know it's ready to go. I must find it easier to listen rather than feel because I was starting the car no bother tonight.

Oh aye! I started my new job today. It was busy enough, which was good because I was able to get stuck right in. I hate hovering about in a new job wondering what to do. Obviously it's a nice way to start because I already know some of the people I'm working with so there's plenty to chat about. To be honest, I'm just glad to be working in the land of the living again. Working in that wee shop on my own fried my head more than I realised.

*Fusty (pron. foosty) - old, out of date, rotten, covered in a layer of mould, off.